Just curious, how would you describe your relationships with personal acquaintance? Gay is how you describe yourself - well, most of my gay friends (in fact all that I can think of at the moment) have female friends. Do you? Are they true friends?
How about males? Do you have straight male friends, who know you’re gay, who are friends? Do you have other gay male friends with whom you have an asexual friendship?
And your relationships that involve sex - are they meetings of the mind or just the meat?
Nobody’s replied yet; I’m just trying to present a little bit of starter material.
I often find myself glancing at other peoples’ crotchal area. Now, I promise I’m not consciously or subconsciously thinking about sex, or picturing them nekkidy, or anything, I just find myself glancing at peoples’ crotches.
I occasionally have been known to stare at women’s chests, butts, or bellies (I have a bit of a navel fetish), but only when they’re in plain view, never when the woman is in conservative clothes, and never on men. So no, not genitalia per se, but I have been known to oogle.
No, I don’t share your obsession, but I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.
Seriously, if this is interfering with your life (which it might be to an extent if you’re feeling “awkward” about it and people are catching you) or possibly threatening your livelihood (which it could if you’re furtively glancing in the workplace; it’s called “sexual harassment”) then IMHO you should seek some help for it.
I’m a crotch-watcher. Mostly I get away with it because the ones I like to look at are of the female flavor, and the women are so busy tracking which guys are staring at their upper torso that they don’t seem to notice me eyeing the front of their jeans.