I’m 33, I still live at home, and have never worked. I am a high school drop out. My life revolves around pills. They are the only thing to give me meaning. I depend completely on my aging parents. I am quite literally ****** when they are gone. I keep suicide on the table for when that happens. What I’m asking is if there’s any way to climb out of this pit, or if I should keep popping pills and off myself when the inevitable happens. I could use a glimmer of hope.
Hello,
Of course there are ways to climb out of the pit you are in, but it won’t be easy. At All.
I think you will need to seek professional assistance to deal with the pills first. Depending on what you are addicted to, there could be issues that would best be sorted through with someone who knows what’s what.
But 33 is still young and you have a very good chance to improve your situation. It will take a lot of hard work.
I wish you good luck. Hang in there.
You can definitely pull yourself out of that pit and it’s actually easier for you than a lot of people because you don’t have baggage like a marriage or kids to deal with in addition to the problem.
The road is laid out in front of you. Quit the pills first, the fact that you’re even asking about if you can pull yourself out of this hole means you are already changing your thinking about things which is good.
Next you need to get your GED and think about what you want to do job-wise.
My Dad had a cousin who lived at home till he was 30 and also never had his first job till after he was thirty. He has his own house now, a small business and is married with kids, it is possible. If your parents have supported you this long, I also bet they will support you if you really want to change things, I mean there are a lot of parents out there who kick their children out as soon as they turn eighteen.
Get rid of your loser friends. Like the ones you are getting your pills from and sharing them with.
Either go back to school or get a an entry level job in a trade you think you may enjoy doing and make new friends there. Something that you could do on your own once you learn the skills.
I have a friend that was in a similar position. He stopped doing drugs (except for some weed and the occasional beer) and got started laying tile for a contractor buddy. He now works for himself laying tile and found that he is pretty good at it. He also lays other types of flooring and carpeting on the side, does interior painting and general handyman work. At 50 he independent, married and owns his own home.
Admitting you have a problem is the biggest hurdle to cross. You know things need to change, so this is a good start.
You cannot do this on your own. You need professional help. Are there any local charities you can approach? In the UK we have this thing called ‘Citizens advice’ where you can go and ask them basically anything (money worries, legal problems, family issues, health you name it etc) and they’ll find a way or someone else who can help you. Anything similar where you live?
33 is still young. I know it doesn’t feel like that to you, but plenty of people don’t get their acts together til their 30s. Heck, people totally change careers in the 40s and 50s. You have time.
Asking for help is the first and the biggest step. You will feel relieved, I promise you. Make that step.
Well, let’s count your blessings, shall we? Maybe helping you find a more positive place mentally will help a bit.
Skimming your O.P. we find that you state or imply:
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You have a safe, stable place to live. A comfortable spot to sleep, and access to food.
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You had sufficient schooling to write well: you form coherent thoughts, communicate them succinctly and in order, without rambling, and hey! proper punctuation and grammar!
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You possess sufficient intelligence to sign yourself up on this message board, locate the forums, and post a new thread. (We just moved hosting platforms, and plenty of long-timers are struggling with those basics.)
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You have enough self-awareness identify your problem AND to ask for help. Lotsa folks can’t manage even the first half.
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You know two people who love you enough to at least make sure you’re not dead from day to day. That’s called a “support network” and too many people can’t even claim that, sadly.
So, you’ve got a safe nest from which you can start making incremental steps towards your own happiness. If you were roughing it on the streets, this would be much harder - so step one, don’t get kicked out!
Maybe you cut out the pills cold turkey. Maybe not - if not, at least slow down. Wait longer to take the next one. Wait even longer for the next - maybe skip one dose, just one, a day.
Find something not-pill-related that brings some brightness into your day. Notice little things.
Get outside and notice the birds chirping & feel the sun on your skin for a bit.
Go clean up something at home and tell mom, “Hey, I got this. Don’t worry about “X” today.” Notice her smile.
Poke around some job websites, just to see what’s out there. (If you are a warm body and can speak, there’s a call center out there that’ll hire you.)
And hey, check back in with us whenever you feel like it. We’re pulling for ya.
Nice post purplehorseshoe.
Was it the drugs that caused you stall in life? How old were you when you became addicted?
I would suggest that you and your parents seek counseling for the codependency that exists there, along with drug counseling.
You’re going to need to get clean and sober, and maintain that for an extended period for the overall fog to lift. You won’t be able to be diagnosed with other psychiatric disorders until you’ve been clean for at least a year, as chronic substance use can cause symptoms of those other psychiatric diseases.
This is not something you can do on your own, so check with an addictionist or psychiatrist who also does addiction medicine. Plan to get plugged into a network of other people working to stay sober, and to find other activities to occupy your time. continue to stay clean and sober and then things generally begin to improve. No instant miracles, but things get better if you do the work.
and I am a physician with added training in addiction medicine, and have been clean and sober myself for 30 years now.
Here is the number for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, assuming you live in the US: 1-800-273-8255.
This is not something you can do on your own. Get help for the drug addiction; go to rehab if you need to. Get rid of the people who are helping you get the pills. Get your GED and get a job. Maybe go to trade school. Do you have any convictions on your record? If you don’t, that’s a big plus.
You can do this. I’m pulling for you.
Yeah, hon you’re gonna need help.
Not from pills or alcohol.
What Dr. @Qadgop_the_Mercotan said.
Good luck.
You have an excellent chance at life! In addition to all of the excellent previously posted recommendations, I would strongly suggest that you get into a support group with a clean and sober leader and other individuals who find themselves in an at least a somewhat similar position such as the position that you are in today.
Years ago, I was in a not dissimilar situation to yours…
It took quite a few years of hard work with tons of the help from others for me to get out of my pit. Today, IMHO, I’m doing okay.
Many folks who knew me pre-pit and post-pit have suggested in many different ways that I am the comeback kid of the year.
You can do it, you really can with the help of others. Please do not try to do it all by yourself. Improve your chances with the help of others.
You don’t have to get all religious and that but finding a faith that you can relate to and believe in can help some people who really want to believe.
Of course boards are full of attention seekers but you probably aren’t trolling. No Internet advice can substitute for getting professional help, particularly if you view the future as hopeless.
And of course you have a chance at a good life. Maybe you even already know what to do. What is stopping you from getting more education or moving towards the type of job you want and making realistic progress?
I’m unclear if the pills are an addiction issue as many have assumed, or prescribed treatments for something else. The Internet may not be the best place to reveal everything about yourself. But people here do try to help. Things will get better, and you can identify the things you need to focus on and realistic goals you can work toward.
Good luck. Sometimes the first step is asking for help. Sometimes it is forgiving yourself and others. Sometimes it is identifying bad influences and moving away from those. Many people have been in your situation, particularly now and with Covid causing consternation.