I used to be an Asshole and I enjoyed being an Asshole because it benefited me socially. During 7th grade when I was a jerk towards the weak (teachers included), I could make people laugh and when I could make people laugh they became my friends. I had many friends and associates in part because I would dare to do things like taping an “I Make Wide Turns” sign on a fat kid’s back when he wasn’t looking.
I picked on the easiest targets; I set my sights on the boy who was a little too effeminate, the people who talked funny, the girl that was obese, the new substitute teacher or any pupil who did not easily fit into any acceptable social group.
It wasn’t as if I didn’t know how people felt when I teased them because I had been through the same thing, many of the folks who I made smile with my rude antics were my tormentors at one time. I knew it hurt but I didn’t care enough to stop and possibly lose my elevated social status and go back down to “scrub”.
Anyway the purpose of this thread… Out of all of the people I was mean too the worst was this girl named “Laura”. She was “fun” to tease back then because she didn’t fight back very much and she had so many things to pick on. Her parents were “weird”, her clothes were old and stained, and she had a unique odor, she was overweight and had a serious case of acne. Any one of these perceived faults could be exploited and I happily did that on a daily basis.
1 incident sticks out in my mind because I literally got slapped for it; We were on a school trip and somehow Laura and I were assigned to the same group during the day and I actually had a chance to talk to her at length and found that she was really a cool person. Laura told me that I was nicer when I was by myself, that I was so much cuter when I wasn’t being a jerk and she hoped we could at least say “Hi” to each other at school. When I got back to school my “buddies” at the time were not feeling the fact that I was actually acting like Laura was a human being with feelings so they said that Laura and I were dating because I was being “way to nice to her”. The next day Laura walked up to me and a group of my associates before class and said “Hi START” I looked at her and said “Oh my God a giant talking pimple”.
It doesn’t sound very clever now but the comment got a laugh from most people within earshot and a few insincere cries of “oh that was messed up”. Despite the adulation coming my way I regretted the words before they even had a chance to get all the way out of my mouth. Laura almost loss control of herself as she dropped her books and ran towards the nearest girl’s restroom. I didn’t realize it right away but among the items she had dropped was an envelope with my name on it.
Although I had just basically stabbed a girl in the heart some of my peoples wanted to give me props. My conscience which had not been loud enough to stop me from hurting Laura’s feelings in the first place now screamed out “forget these jerks and follow her and apologize with every last fiber of your being, apologize like she has the power to send you to Hell.” I chased after her not caring what anybody thought and I stopped and waited for her when she went into the restroom. Laura rushed out of the bathroom, closed the door with force and walked past me. It hurt to look at her face not because of any physical features but because of the hatred I could see in her eyes that came from deep within her soul. I had put it there and if it would last a lifetime or a few days I was still responsible for it.
I followed Laura as she went to go get her things that she had dropped; I even helped her pick them up. Laura’s face seemed to soften and I took that as an opportunity to speak and I asked if she was still mad and told her that I was sorry. Her reply was confusing to me at best, “Why should I be mad, you do this everyday it was my fault for thinking you wouldn’t try to be cool in front of your friends.” It sounds absurd but I honestly didn’t know if that was an acceptance or rejection of my apology. I reached my hand out for a handshake but she reached her hand out and slapped me in the mouth. Not hard enough to make me bleed or cry but I definitely felt it right then and a few minutes thereafter.
“Ugly ass bitch!” is what “Jason” said as he came to my defense. I looked at Jason and without any spoken words told him “Back off, I can handle this.”
Laura was only a few feet away when she wrote on a piece of paper, walked back and handed it to me, it was an envelope with my name on it but on the back side written in Pen were the words “NOT INVITED”. On the inside of the envelope was an invitation that said something along the lines of “Guess who is a teenager now? You are invited to boogie down at Laura’s 13th Birthday”.
I wanted to go back in time but I couldn’t and I was frustrated with myself so for the next few days I took my frustration out on everybody. The people that understood why I felt so bad are still my friend’s even today and the rest I haven’t talked to since 7th grade.
Ok for real this time the real reason why I made this thread… That girl, Laura is now well into being a teenager and everything we used to tease her about is gone. She lost weight, her skin looks great and she is more confident. The reason I know this is because out of all the people I would have to bump into in a new town I see her and she said she was over everything that happened but she is rude to me whenever I come into contact with her, she “went places” with her rudeness that you wouldn’t believe if I told you…but wait maybe I deserve it even though I am not of the same mindset that I was in 7th grade. Luckily we do not go to the same school but I have seen her a few times and today she took some underhanded personal attacks at me under the guise of polite conversation and like I said she “went places” that nobody would believe.
So in realizing that I was a jerk and ruined part of her 6th grade and her entire 7th grade year do I have to take shit from her? Would it be rude if I defended myself? What should I say if anything when she is being an asshole to me? From what I have heard she is more confident but still very sensitive and insecure so if I made her cry again, I know I would feel bad so any advice, I basically want to know if I just take it because I deserve it or defend myself ?
And yes I know about Karma and I know I was really mean… but 7th grade START has grown up shouldn’t Laura do the same?