Part venting, part serious question: If you’re calling a woman for the first time and leave a message, do they ever call back?
I tried calling a girl last night with whom I thought we might have hit it off (met her at a party three days earlier and had a good time)–she didn’t answer and I didn’t feel like leaving a message. So I tried her again tonight (oh, about an hour and some change ago) and again got her answering machine. This time I did leave a message, even though I already know she won’t return it.
Yeah, it’s only been an hour, but I already know the result (I’m jaded), thus I have a question geared toward both the fellow fellows and ladies of this board:
Lads: After leaving a message for a girl during your first call, did she call you back?
Ladies: Have often do you actually call back the guy whose first call you missed?
Yes, sometimes they do. The last 7 women I seriously dated (which accounts for the last 17 years of my life) called back. With some, it took a few tries on my part.
If she is interested she will call back. If she is not interested she will not call back because there is nothing less comfortable than calling a man to tell him you aren’t interested. Some men may take it in stride but most get argumentative and try to wheedle a date out of you anyway or, worse, get insulting and combative*. Women aren’t going to chance that you are the nice one and will just not call if they aren’t interested.
*I once had a guy contact me off of a dating site just to berate me for putting on my ad that I would not choose to date a man without a job. He sent me a 3 page email about how he was currently unemployed and taking care of his sick mother and how dare I judge him, yadda yadda yadda. This was his very first contact to me and it was solely to try and rip me a new one for my dating preferences. The thing of it is if he had just sent a message saying, “Hey, I’m interested and I don’t meet one of your conditions but here is my reason” I probably would have gone out with him at least once anyway.
I’m extremely confused. What are you venting about?
It seems like you’re upset that she hasn’t called you back within one hour. Is that right? How can you possibly expect a call back so soon?
Your last question, “Have often do you actually call back the guy whose first call you missed?” is really confusing. If she missed it, how can you expect her to know to call you? Telepathy?
If someone is interested in you there is ALWAYS time. They find the time.
And that goes for dating, job hunting or just about anything else, when the desire is there, people make time.
That doesn’t mean she won’t call, but more than likely you’re on a list, somewhere, and she’s going through her list of things “to do.” You may be #2 or #3 or at the bottom of it.
Unless you’re a brain surgeon, no one is so busy that they can’t call you back provided they want to.
I would add to the “be patient” advice to also go about your life. If you’re waiting by the phone, she will know it. I swear, women are telepathic that way. Why one hasn’t collect Randi’s million by now is beyond me.
