This is one of those things that’s bugged me for a while, and tubagirl’s comments in another thread (forget which one, but I think it was the “keep me busy” one) about how her fiancé is a crier brought this back to the forefront of my mind. Anyways…do women really like men that cry, or do they want men that are bastions of masculinity and non-emotionality? I ask this because I, while not really a crier, do get emotional on occasions when a “real man” (I hate that phrase) probably would not. Even things like a particularly stirring piece of music can bring tears to my eyes every once in a while…
Well…I ain’t no woman but I can tell you what my female friends have said when this question was posed to them.
They want a tough-guy stud who can cry.
Crying at the birth of your child – Good
Crying because you got a splinter – Bad
Basically you’re supposed to be strong and rock like yet sensitive when dealing with them or whenever they think you should be sensitive (of course, they never tell you when this should be, you’re just supposed to know).
Few guys can get the mix right except for characters in movies.
I like that my fiance is sensitive enough to be able to show his emotions, but I find that it is not cool for him to cry more than me. He only cries when we are EXTREMELY stresses out, or when we get into BIG emotional fights, etc.
I don’t think it is nessessary for a man to HAVE to cry, but I have cocky arrogant men who are too ‘manly’ to open up their emotions to the likes of me.
IMHO, this is the way most average people should be, male or female.
I have nothing against crying, really. It’s when a person does it over spilled milk, or the thought of spilled milk, or the thought of having to go to the store to buy some backup milk just in case you spill some…aaaaaaagh! Just STOP WHINING and get on with your life, AFTER you go to the store and buy more paper towels, because you used the last of them in the bathroom because we ran out of toilet paper after you used the last of THAT on the LAST damn crying jag you had when you knocked over the glass of water you had to drink because we ran out of milk after you spilled it the last time! Sheesh! GET OVER IT!!!
Sorry about that. While you’re at the store, could you pick me up some pads?
Oh, don’t you even try and get all manly on me now, bucko…
Anyone crying creeps me out. The only crying situation I know how to handle is the death of a loved one, 'cause I’ve been through it myself. Luckily it doesn’t come up often.
Crying is painfully close to selfishness; it only serves to make the people you’re with uncomfortable.
I cry, but only when no one’s looking, and that includes my husband and family.
I always want true feelings. If a tear falls from his eyes, my arms would wrap around his heart… Never would I think any less of him, and if I did see tears, no one else in the world would know…
I used to not like men who cried, thought it was kinda “weak,” you know. But once a friend of mine and I watched “Life is Beautiful” and he started crying pretty hard at the part when Roberto Begnini (sp?) talks to his wife over the pa system at the concentration camp. I fell in love with him right then, until the end of the movie, and I’ve always found crying to be a somewhat charming thing after then.
I think a guy has to be what he is. If he needs a good cry than I can support that. I am not sure I would be attracted to a guy who cries all the time, but whatever you gotta do. My man cries when he is hurt or more often when has hurt me really bad and can’t get over it. It doesn’t happen a lot (like 2x, but it is nice to see that he has a heart.
I have to disagree with you. If other people are uncomfortable, that’s their problem, not yours. Crying is a healthy outlet for stress and built up emotion. Studies have shown that when you cry out of sorrow there are different chenicals in your tears than when you cry from slicing an onion. It is your bodies natural way of dealing with situations.
Now, I’m not saying it’s healthy to cry because you get cut off at an intersection, but it is healthy.
I spent a lot of time crying over the past couple days, out of fear for my mother possibly having breat cancer, and I make no apologies for that and I’m not ashamed of it. I have a dog who is 15 years old and in ailing health. When it comes time for her to be put down, or if she dies, I will most likely cry then too. To hell with what other people think, it’s how I deal with my fears and grief, I think it’s normal, natural and healthy.
I’m not crazy about generalizations, but it just depends. My unhusband cries A LOT, we can hear him from practically anywhere in the house, and it makes me and our sons feel horrible. When we did talk, he would cry to stop an argument, sometimes he’d cry to START an argument. THIS is manipulative crying, NOT good.
However, BEING sensitive to anyone else’s feelings, that would be a good thing, male or female. Or greatly moved by an event, I’d wonder about the person who stayed stone faced. Though not a great deal, since it’s tough to tell how someone else deals with grief. Just because you DON’T cry isn’t necessarily a BAD thing either.
Anyone going to the store for Cristi? I need some canned cokes REAL bad!
My BF cries when it’s appropriate. When he misses his family too much (He hasn’t seen them in over a year) or when he knows he has hurt me somehow. I cry when I hurt him. Sometimes when one of us starts, the other will start, and we’ll try to comfort each other. I can only imagine how that must look. But it rarely, rarely happens.
My BF’s father however, cries all of the time. It’s really hard for me to respect him when he emails or calls and tells us how he has been crying. It doesn’t help that I don’t like the man anyway. I don’t mind sensitivity, but there is a limit. I just don’t like weepy people.
I don’t cry in front of people if I can help it, even my BF. It makes me too uncomfortable to be seen with a weakness. Most people I know don’t even think I’m capable of crying, because I just refuse to show my emotions like that to people. Even my BF has to pry it out of me for hours before I even tell him why I’m crying, if he even catches me.
Is he suffering from depression? That could be it. My dad cries all the time, but this is because he has terminal cancer. He’s in a lot of pain most of the time, and he cries when he has to miss out on events like musicals, ball games, Homecoming, church, etc…it really makes him sad. When I see people cry I give them a hug. It helps so much. I’m weepy at times but never in public. I hate crying in public.
He might be, but it’s not clinical depression. He misses his son, my BF. I can respect that. Hey, I miss him when he’s gone for a few hours. He’s overweight, big time. I can empathize, I’m not exactly a supermodel. But he eats ALL the time, and he eats A LOT. Some overweight people have no control over it, some do. He does. He doesn’t have a job, or a decent house. Again, something that was HIS fault. HIS life didn’t completely spin out of control, like some people’s.
All in all, he might have reasons to cry, but instead of crying, I think he should get his life back in order. I guess that’s why I can’t respect him. If he would just do something, ANYTHING other than cry.
end Hijack
