I am feeling both right now and feeling like my kids would be better off without me.
Your kids? Dude, no.
I’ve felt that way, and so have a lot of people. Just because you feel that way doesn’t mean it’s true.
Hang in there.
If this is just a momentary feeling, and not something you experience often, it’ll pass.
If it is something you struggle with often, do something about it—seek treatment for depression, make positive changes in your life circumstances.
Constantly. But, I know I am neither hopeless nor worthless. I think it is chemical / hormonal. And I know that with the exception of a small percentage of children that are viscously abused, no children are better off without their parents.
If this feeling continues, you should seek help.
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Yes, a lot of people, myself included, have felt this way.
Please don’t leave your children wondering how they failed you, or why they weren’t good enough for you to live for. I don’t know what your circumstances are, but please seek help before you make any decisions.
Help can be talking to a friend, minister, or family member who you can trust to counsel you.
Help can be talking to your primary care doctor.
Help can be calling a crisis help line.
Help can be calling the Employee Assistance line at work and finding a local counselor or psychiatrist.
Help can even start by just telling us here a little bit more about what’s going on. We care. Please keep us posted.
No, no and hell no. Your kids do not feel this way, and certainly will not ever think a future without you is a good thing.
That said, yes I have felt the way you do. I think many people do. For me, this too shall pass worked.
Reach out to get help. Even if it’s just here on the Dope.
It’s my default position.
Sunny Daze said it better in post #5 than I could. I’m so sorry you are in such pain.
Yes, I’ve felt that many times and for an extended period. That’s one reason I sought professional help.
As Sunny Daze pointed out, there are negative consequences to looking for a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
You do matter and your children matter. It really, really sucks right now, but it does get better.
We’ve all been there dude, but this too shall pass. If you need to get anything off your chest, you can do it here or there’s all kinds of helplines out there.
Your children love you. Being without you would only bring them pain.
Yes, I’ve felt like you are describing. I’ve often felt life wasn’t worth the struggle. At those times, I would always remember that I could be mistaken in that belief.
Seek help for yourself.
I think everyone feels that way from time to time.
Yes, I have. But then I eventually remember that my feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness are temporary. Maybe I am just having a bad day or week. Maybe are hormones are screwed up. Maybe I just need to put an embarrassing incident behind me. Maybe I just need to hear “You did a good job, monstro.” When I’m in the darkness, I try to realize that there’s a reason for my feelings, but that reason isn’t reasonable (no matter how rational they may seem).
Hopelessness is totally a understandable feeling in this depressing world. But worthless, you are not. You could be the crustiest, ugliest, meanest person in the world, but your children will always need and love you. I’m sure there are other people out there who would miss you a whole lot too.
I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad. Please try to hold on and wait for this storm cloud to pass.
((Enola Gay))
As others have said, this too will pass.
Yes, I do feel that way from time to time. Lately, I’ve been feeling it a lot. I spent most of yesterday reading a book on how to find meaning in life. Seriously. I didn’t find an answer that worked for me, but these feelings have come and gone throughout my life, and I figure they will continue to do so for whatever time I have left. (I’m 68, no family, widow, childless.) In my next life, I’m going to be born with one of those permanently sunny dispositions because I do believe some of this has to do with inborn temperament.
A couple of years ago, my uncle took his own life, and the family was devastated. Most of all, his partner of 45 years, who constantly asks himself, “What did I not see? Why didn’t he tell me how bad he was feeling?” Believe me, no one will be “better off” without you. The world will not be better off. I don’t know anything about your family, but losing you under any circumstance, especially what you’re hinting at, would send a shock wave through your children that they would never recover from.
I don’t have the right to ask you this, but please, from an old lady who feels for you, take that idea off your list of options.
I don’t know the answer to finding meaning and keeping despair at bay. I know that it’s a universal human problem and has been throughout time and space. Ironically, we’re not alone in feeling alone-- not that it helps much.
Do come back and talk to us some more.
Yes, I have and think most people have. Luckily it will usually pass if you give it a chance. It’s trite, but the best thing I’ve found is to find something else to occupy your mind/body. Exercise works for me.
Sometimes but it isn’t true. The feeling should pass; if it doesn’t its worth calling in a doctor and getting checked out.
Every day around 11PM. Never thought my kids would be better off without me, thought they would be better off if I didn’t feel that way.
I don’t know anything about your personal life, but it’s clear to me from your two-sentence posting that you’re depressed. Please, please, please see a doctor ASAP.
Thanks for the replies and yes I am depressed. I’m reluctant to post details here for fear of criticism plus it’s complicated, but I will get help. Thanks you all.