How have your children disappointed you?

They say when you have kids that you have certain expectations: that they will take after you in some way, be smarter than you are or less anger-prone than you are, or whatever. Of course you want what’s best for your kids: that they will be happy and healthy and productive and all of that.

I want to know how your kids have disappointed you. Maybe that’s the wrong word: I don’t necessarily even mean that they didn’t achieve something. I would include anything like they became something you didn’t expect, like they became, I don’t know, a therapist for dogs or something (instead of a college-degreed therapist for humans).

So far, I’m almost 19 weeks pregnant and haven’t felt any movement that couldn’t be explained as gas bubbles.

Get kicking, kid. The other mommies in my due date club are feeling all KINDS of movement.

I haven’t fathered any kids. And at this rate I wonder if I ever will. But I like to think I’m world-wise enough to expect my kids to be mediocre if/when I do get some. Of course I’d see them through dad-tinted spectacles, but from other people’s perspective they’ll just be kids with kid abilities and kid shortcomings.

I wouldn’t say my daughter has disappointed me, in fact she has far surpassed anything I’d have dared hope for. However, I think she would be happier if she had more of a social life. A job would be keen, too.

The boy has also been wonderful in every way, though he is still very young and his prime parent-disappointing years are all ahead of him. I feel that he will prove vulnerable to peer pressure, and I doubt he’ll ever have great enthusiasm for his school work.

My son disappoints me often by making the wrong choice when I’ve provided him ample opportunity to make the right one. Of course, he’s only 4, but I hate disciplining him; however, I’m left with little choice sometimes, and I hate, hate, hate it. What’s worse is knowing that he knows full well what he should do, but just chooses not to do it. I can see why so many children are spoiled - it would be so much easier to just let him run roughshod over me, but so very dangerous in the long run.

My daughter hasn’t really had a chance to disappoint me. So far, sleep has been an issue, but other than some irritation related to that, she’s unbearably sweet, sometimes so much so that I just want to wallow in her babiness. Knowing that she’s growing up makes me sad.

My daughters are amazing people, and I adore them without reservation. However, my oldest (19 y.o.) decided that smoking would be a good idea. I’m “disappointed” to say the least. She says she’s stopped, I don’t know if I believe her.

My 4-yr old girl has started lying to us. Her older brother (almost 6) never went through that phase.

Last week, she told us she went to the bathroom before bedtime. She hadn’t, and then had an accident on the floor when she didn’t make it soon after. Also we had told her she had to finish her dinner; but she threw it in the trash when we weren’t looking.

It’s normal, I’m sure, but it bugs me to think that 1) she thinks she’s smarter than us and 2) she can’t explain why she does it.

My kids are adults now. I’m not disappointed in them or by them in any way. I’m disappointed for them that two of them have struggled to find full-time, permanent employment, but that’s not the same thing.

I can’t imagine being disappointed with a child as young as 4 or 5 who’s healthy and happy.

Yes, they learn to lie and stuff and don’t always make the right decision. The thing is, learning to lie is a sign of cognitive development. It’s not just part of the process, it’s an encouraging one - it shows they’re ldeveloping appropriately, because the ability to lie shows more advanced understanding of the nature of reality - and if you catch it early it’s your opportunity to teach them important lessons when those lessons can be learned, as opposed to later on when they can’t.

Mine’s 5 as of last Saturday. Once in awhile she lies, and I have to admit it doesn’t make me angry - it just makes me think, “Ah, I must remind her not to lie.” And she’s learning the importance of honesty. She’s a good kid.

I’m sure later on in life she’s disappoint me in some way, but jeez, she’s just five now.

That depends on what you mean by disappointing. I’m not saying I’m disappointed as in, “Oh, where did you go wrong?!” It’s more, “Damn - I know you know better. Now I have to punish you and I don’t want to because I know you really, really wanted to do XYZ. But now you can’t, even though I gave you plenty of opportunity.”

Overall my son is a good kid. He’s sweet, intense and has a very strong desire to please. He’s also smart. Sometimes you can see the cogs working in his brain when he chooses to do something that’ll have negative consequences, often related to something he was really looking forward to. I want him to do the things he wants, so it disappoints me when he can’t because of his own actions.

I don’t think that this will negatively impact him in the long term - it’s probably a good thing, actually. That’s how he’ll learn. But it sucks in the short term. So, yeah - that’s disappointing. Developmentally appropriate, but disappointing nonetheless.

There are really only 2 things.

2 out of 3 of them Smoke.

One of them resisted all efforts to get an education.

This thread title gets 10 points for being awesome.

Cool! But… how come?


My daughter…honestly, she can be a bit of a bitch. And she’s begun, not being the Queen Bitch at school, but the second lieutenant to the Queen Bitch. She’s friggin’ 5 years old. We’re using lots of “thinking words” and asking her questions to get her to consider how she wants to handle the friendship. I absolutely will NOT tell her she can’t be friends with the girl, because I know that’s the best way to ensure she’s her BFF. And she’s gradually making good decisions about it on her own. Last week, she told me that she and Sarah were “taking a break” for a day or two so she could play with the other kids more. I thought that was fabulous, and it’s nice to see her start associating with more than just this one girl on the playground.

Still…it was a little disconcerting to realize that my sweet little wonderful speshul snowflake has it in her temperament to be one of the Mean Girls in 8 or 9 years. I’m glad I noticed now, so we can try to avert that.

My son, I’m not disappointed in, but I do worry about him. He’s doing great at school, but no movement towards getting a driver’s license (he’s 17) or a job and no romantic interests since the first one, a couple of years ago. I know he’s depressed and he’s on medication, but won’t call to make an appointment for another visit and refill, and I’ve got to stop bailing him out on that. But I can’t really figure out how to help him, because he just doesn’t want to talk to Mom about whatever’s bugging him. I know it’s normal, but yeah, I worry about him. :frowning:

Don’t get too down. When my wife was pregnant she didn’t feel anything that was definitely baby movement until she was about 25 weeks.

I wish she would read more, and actually LIKE language arts and the like.

She loves math and science, so it isn’t all bad…

She’s eight.

Both girls started smoking cigarettes in their teens; the 27 year old quit a couple of years ago, the 26 year old still smokes even though she has to go to the ER coughing up blood less than a week ago. Disappointed that both started smoking, disappointed that the youngest is still doing it.

Also, the youngest had a kid when she was 20. That wouldn’t be so bad, but she is a shit parent, and now the kid is living with me. So I am disappointed in her inability to take care of her kid.

And the youngest can’t hold a job. Any job. She has been fired from more jobs than I’ve even interviewed for. She’s been kicked out of every place she has lived. She doesn’t pay her bills. She keeps hooking up with known losers. Disappointment abounds with the youngest.

I frequently wonder where it all went so terribly wrong and all I can figure is she’s broken in some way. Sad.

When the older one was acting she never got a role juicy enough to buy me a mansion and a Rolls. Aside from that neither kid has disappointed me.

Actually, the older one did smoke, but gave it up. She also wandered around a bit, but now is in a good place. with a fellowship and an increasing number of papers. the younger one has blossomed and far exceeded our (high) expectations.
I suspect they are both more frustrated with themselves than we are with them - but that is the thing that keeps one pushing.

My son picked up a bad habit from his stepfather- he smokes. My mother and father both died of tobacco-related illnesses, so this bothers me a lot.

I’m not disappointed in my daughter so much as I’m just kind of sad about her. She’s 8 and emotionally disturbed, and we’re trying so hard but it seems that she keeps getting worse. Her intelligence is above average, but she had to be taken out of a regular classroom because of her problems, and it looks like she may even have to go to a classroom for children even worse off. For each level of special ed that she goes up, the less focus on academics there are, and the less chance she’ll have to be able to go to college or be successful in any career.

I guess I’m disappointed that she’s not the geeked out mini-me I expected when I decided to have a child, and I’m disappointed that my parenting experience is pretty much just hard and unsatisfying.

Jeez, poor kid. I kind of feel like a monster for admitting the above.