I rather receive a limp handshake than a bonecrusher. I give gentle but firm handshakes myself, despite having girly hands with thin fingers. There has been more than once I have recoiled in pain from a bonecrusher’s grip. if I am more than an acquaintance with the bonecrusher - I inform them that their handshake goes beyond firm and that for women with thinner hands like myself, it can be somewhat painful.
One of the doctors I know has a limp handshake, that really scares me, because I tend to think of doctors as authority figures and authority figures tend to have strong handshakes. Someone was telling me that some doctors/surgens have weak handshakes because they don’t want to risk hurting their hands.
I have been told that I am a bit of a bone crusher and have since tried to change that. The problem is that I have been tord that I do not have a grasp ( 
) of my own strength. At present, my handshakes vary (from my POV) from firm (read that as bonecrushing) to loose, but I think the latter is closer to a proper handshake.
The early grabbers bug me more than the limp fish. A handshake seems like such a small thing to fight over. I find that most early grabbers that I know are men that would consider me my father’s kid. They have seen me grow up so it seems that they feel it necessary to assert themselves this way. Of course, I am stronger than most of them now but there are a couple of farmers and an old mechanic that could still grind my hand into bread if they decided to.
I have wee little girl hands with dainty thin fingers. I know I’m not going to be able to give a good firm handshake with just the one hand, so I took a cue from my martial arts training and now shake with both hands. Right hand like a normal shake, left hand over theirs. People really seem to like it, it gives the impression that I’m really enthused to meet them.
Sometimes it’s an insult. Sort of a cold hand, instead of a cold shoulder. In full use, it isn’t even offered until or unless the recipient reaches out their hand first.
I was a limp fish handshaker and frequently got my fingers painfully squished together until my brother gave me a little handshaking tutorial. He showed me how to slide my hand forward into the other persons hand until the vees between thumb and first finger touched, not just offer my fingers. It seems dumb that I had to be taught how to shake hands, and had to practice with him a few times, but it was really helpful.
That’s funny… about 10 years ago someone asked this same question…
No, I follow the popular practice of grabbing onto someone’s hand and grasping it firmly with intermittent shaking for at last a minute, until they become really uncomfortable and have to wrench their hand away.
At which point I eat their brains.
Why not just grow a pair and stop whining about other men not giving your hand the sort of rough fisting you so desire?
I really don’t think he’s been whining about for the last decade…
I suspect that some women were taught to give dead fish, under the theory that to do otherwise would be too aggressive and manly.
I’ve run into a couple men who give dead fish, but it seems much more common from women.
From lifting weights and laying bricks, I could (and have) make really big guys wince, but don’t, because it’s a juvenile display. Thankfully, most of my Jazz musician colleagues offer to “lay five, some skin, or a fist bump”. I’d rather get a weak handshake than a dull-witted alpha-male challenge. OK, you’re macho, I get it.
Does it count as “legitimate” handshake rape then?
Wanted to highlight your post because so many people don’t know that it’s thoughtless to offer to shake hands with elderly persons especially if you aren’t sure about arthritis. Or, if you must, please go lightly on those well-used old bones. it’s something I learned volunteering at nursing homes.
I prefer not to shake hands at all. I’m not germ obsessed so I think I just picked up the preference working in a hospital. I notice some doctors appear to flinch also when a hand is offered.
But if shake I must I’ll give a solid one. The “dead fish” is off-putting if you aren’t able to determine where it’s coming from.
Only if you wiggle you finger in their palm.
I would have begged off “Sorry, I just washed my hands and They are still a bit damp!” I also beg out of handshakes when I am sick. “Sorry, I have a cold. I don’t want to get you sick.”
People read way too much into a handshake.
Thanks for saying. For some reason I’m really bad at handshakes and am uncomfortable about the whole routine. I hope people aren’t judging me too harshly.
They’re judging your “manliness”. How silly is that?
Germs. But I often initiate a handshake then promptly use hand sanitizer. More than once the shakee seems surprised.