This isn’t a big planned event. They were coming over to London to visit her anyway, and therefore I’m having dinner with them. I’m somewhat nervous, but not to the point of physically quaking in my boots. She told me yesterday that her dad is smaller than I am, so I hope to be able to avoid horsewhipped, but who knows?
So, Teeming Millions, what advice have ye for a man about to embark on this new adventure? Horror stories welcome, but only with advice on how to avoid repeating them. I don’t really want to know about the unavoidable pitfalls because quite frankly I’m perfectly capable of generating paranoia by myself, without any outside assistance.
We’re parents of five daughters ages 14-28. When we meet the young men they are interested in, there are a few things we try to quietly observe.
Does he treat her with respect?
Does he have a job (or is he in school) sufficient to help support them in an acceptable fashion?
Does he share similar values on important issues?
When he looks at her, is there love & desire in his eyes? (otherwise described in previous SD threads as “zing” - gotta be there)
Does she look at him the same way?
Most parents just want their children to be happy and feel loved, honored and cherished. If you feel that way toward their daughter AND you can assure them that she will not be so broke that her primary diet would be cold, canned beanie weenies if you marry they will be happy and supportive.
Relax and have fun. Parents remember how stressful those first meetings are and as long as you’re a decent person they will try their best to put you at ease.
Keep physical affection in check - I could handle guys holding hands with my daughter, but touchy-feely-smoochy was just bad form. Even non-parents generally don’t want to see that.
Pretend you have couth and class and manners, even if it’s a stretch…
One would think this was all common sense, but based on some of the critters my kid brought home, I’m thinking maybe not. Thankfully, the fiance seems to have some redeeming social value.
You can probably make yourself really popular by praising your girlfriend’s mother for the training she gave her daughter in various sexual techniques - be specific of course.
You will have less success if you attribute her skills to her father.
Also, suggest a foursome. They will probably think of it as “delightfully European”. Mayke sure to ask about the golden shower before you let loose, though.
Nonsense aside, just be friendly and polite. If that doesn’t work, the problem is them.
You might want to just ask your girlfriend if there are topics you should avoid (“don’t discuss politics with my dad”) or things you should do (“shoes off in the house”). Just obvious stuff, mind you. Specially if there is something particular about the meeting that makes you nervous. Before meeting my boyfriends (christian) parents, I made sure to ask him if my (lack of) religion would be a problem. He said no, and it hasn’t been, but by asking, I saved myself having to worry about it.
