Hell, I wouldn’t bother with the burger if I had a home grown tomato. I LOVE tomato sandwiches, if they are home grown tomatoes. If it’s a supermarket tomato, I’ll give you the stinkeye.
As for burgers, I generally prefer the patty, a slice of American cheese (I think that Cheddar should be eaten out of hand), and some mustard, on a real hamburger bun. No, I don’t want my burger on sourdough, or wheat, or sandwich bread. If those are my choices, then I’ll just eat the patty (and possibly the cheese) without bread. And if there’s no cheese on it, I’ll put some teriyaki sauce on it. If I do have a real bun, though, sometimes I’ll put mayo on it as well as mustard. It really depends on my mood.
I don’t eat mayo very much and I only eat veggie burgers. Those count as burgers for me. I don’t put mayo on veggie burgers.
But there was a sandwich type thing that I loved mayo on. I can only remember that it was really great and the mayo totally accentuated the taste. And now I can’t remember what it was. I have a hankering for something that I can’t identify now.
Count me with the people who said they never ask for mayo or put it on a burger themselves but will eat without complaint (well, to the restaurant staff anyway) a burger that presumptuously came with mayo on it.
Mayo on a burger is fine. I won’t go out of my way for it, but I won’t turn my nose up either. Mix the mayo with some sriracha and put that on a burger and, well, now I am drooling. But that’s the spicy mayo, you can put that on just about anything.
When I was seven years old, and my older brother was eight, he told me a joke about mayonnaise that all but sickened me. That was 55 years ago, and I haven’t put mayonnaise on my sandwiches since then! :eek:
And it really sucks living in a “mayo by default” culture. No matter how vigilant I am about checking menu ingredients and stipulating no mayo, occasionally I slip and my food ends up getting spooged. “Oh, you didn’t want mayo on your bruschetta? Most people like it!”
If I were King of Everything, the only controlled substance would be mayonnaise and simple possession would be a capital offense. Manufacture? Death by prolonged torture.
Don’t mind blue cheese or ranch dressing, and even aioli isn’t bad. Nothing against oil, egg yolks, or lemon juice, even. Somehow when you blend them together, it becomes something unholy. DO NOT WANT.
I really like it. It’s creamy, adds a little yin to mustard’s yang. And it pisses off Vinyl Turnip.
What more could you ask from an off-white condiment?
However, tomatoes are the gelatinous, slimy innards of Satan’s colon. That is until you distill it down to its essence for sauces and dips. Then it becomes the heavenly juice of an angel’s belch.
