i pee in the shower; always have, and always will.
i also hate showering with other people.
when i was in college, i met a girl and we both thought we fell in love. we moved in together. she insisted on showering with me. i protested but she relented, so i eventually caved. as she washed her hair, it occurred to me that i had to pee but couldn’t.
or could i?
i watched her face carefully as she shampood, eyes closed, fumbling for the conditioner in the blind. all the while, i’m peeing on the tub floor between us. she never noticed. this continued for some time.
after about a month, we fell into a cycle - she’d wash her hair and i’d pee, hands on my hips and grinning to myself like a small child at her ignorance. but that all the changed the day that i lost my footing and almost fell. i managed to retain my balance, but not without getting pee on her feet. i looked at her face in horror, but she hadn’t noticed. i was mystified. i’m also slightly vindictive and have been holding quite the grudge about this whole shared shower nonsense.
so, i do the only thing that makes any sense. the very next time we’re in the shower together, i pee purposefully and directly on her feet. nothing. the next day, i pee on her ankles; the next her shins. each day just a little higher. everytime i reach and pass the previous day’s height it becomes harder and harder to contain myself. a few times i have to turn away and pretend to be coughing, i’m at the verge of laughing so loud it hurts.
after we had been living together near 6 months (i had made it about 3 inches above the kneecaps at this stage) we had a terrible terrible fight, and in my rage i yelled “oh ya, well i pee on you in the shower!” the words had barely left my mouth when i realized how ridiculous i sounded and the laughter came - all the laughter i’d been holding back each day as i arced my urine just a little higher.
we were never the same after that, but she never believed me - for the remaining three months we lived together, we continued to shower together and i continued to pee on her and struggle to contain my giggling. one day about a week after the fight she turned her back to me while shampooing; i saw my chance and i took it without hesitation - all the way up one leg, over the ass, and down the other side. i actually had to get out of the shower right away because i could barely keep myself standing.
i got a wedding invite from her about 3 years ago - she’s married a urologist; needless to say, i knew i could never make it through an introduction and didn’t attend. i sent some nice flowers, though.