Well, yeah - because, as someone else said, it would be like wishing your kids dead. It’s not like regretting getting a dog or regreeting getting married - in both those cases, the other person/animal would still exist.
So I don’t think people are unwilling to post their regrets because it would make them look bad, but just because, well, most people don’t want their kids to die, no matter how difficult parenting can sometimes be.
stretch
September 20, 2010, 6:14pm
82
Quoting myself from this thread :
I’m the lone voice of dissent again. Don’t bother flaming me, because on this topic I am immune…I already know I was a crap parent.
I wish I’d never had my kids. I care about my kids, and I like my oldest daughter as a person now that she’s 24; that was a hard row to hoe considering some of the crap she pulled as a teenager. I do not like my younger daughter, who is 23 and has a kid of her own now. She is just an unpleasant individual.
I resent missed chances, but realize that the chances I missed where due to choices I made…I don’t blame my kids for the piss-poor decision-making process I used in my youth. I shoulder the blame for all that.
I’ve never really liked kids in general. I didn’t want kids to begin with. I did not enjoy raising my kids. I put forth my best effort, because I believe in doing a good job. My kids know that I didn’t plan to have them (because not very many plan to have kids when they are 16/17), but if they know that I never really liked being a parent it’s not because I told them “I hate you and wish I’d never had you”. Rather it would be because they, like most people, can figure out when someone isn’t enjoying a project, and parenthood is one long project.
I’m not saying there weren’t any good times. We had a couple of enjoyable vacations, the kids participated in activities they enjoyed, sometimes my kids cracked me up. But if I could have convinced myself that their father would have been a better parent than I, he would have got the kids and I would have walked away and been the absent parent that sends cards and swooshes in with the cool gifts at Christmas.
Now I have a grandson. I love this kid. I don’t know why. Unfortunately, his mom is not a good parent. She treats him like a pet or accessory. And I feel responsible for her bad parenting and the crappy life I think that my grandson may end up having.
I think it takes more work to raise a kid than many people are actually willing to put in. I think that even though I did the best I could at the time, I was a shitty parent. I’m trying to be a better grandparent.