Does a bear *ahem* in the woods?

Do you know any other ways of saying, “of course, if you didn’t know that, you are an idiot”?

Only one I have heard other than that (that i can think of) is

Does Billy Graham have a bible study?

Is the Pope Catholic?

“Would you like a beer?” (Maybe that’s just me and my friends, though)

“Will the sun rise tomorrow?”

Does a Fleeml gyrate when ionized?

Does koala bear poop smell like cough drops?

Does a hobby horse have a wooden dick?

-Road House

Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?

As pinkfreud notes, by far the most common alternative is “Is the Pope Catholic?” Given the similarity of the words “bear” and “pope”(one syllable w/an initial bilabial plosive), the two phrases have often been conflated into “Does the Pope shit in the woods?” See, e.g., here and here from a joke thread discussing previous Pope Benedicts.


“What is the sound of one hand clapping?”

“Will a strange dog bite?”

Oops! I inverted the concept from certainty to uncertainty. My bad.

Does a Doper post non sequiturs?

Is a frog’s ass watertight?

Is water wet?

I’m moving this to IMHO, from Cafe Society.

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

Is the sky blue?

Is Sun overpriced?

Do ducks fart underwater?

Is the sky blue?

I usually say “Does the Pope wear a funny hat?”

I used to say, “Is the Pope Polish?”