Does age really matter?

My co-worker is 40 years old and cute. She can attract any man there is.

The past 6 months she started talking about a guy she was dating, but really wouldn’t say much about him, except that he was a Dr.

Now, it has been out that’s he 60 years old. 20 years older than her…

I know that this is not my life, it’s hers…but 20 year age difference? That’s like dating my dad or someone his age…

How old is too old?

I’m forty-one, my husband is fifty-eight. My ex-husband was nineteen years older than me. I don’t see any problem with it.

When a woman I know was 60, she dated a man who was 83. He wasn’t your average 83-year-old, either — he drove a Miata, traveled extensively and for all practical purposes looked and behaved as though he were about 60 himself … and a young 60 at that. They dated a while and more or less mutually agreed to break it off at some point. They really didn’t have a future; she had a lot of active years ahead of her and neither one wanted to burden her with an elderly man to care for in a few years because, after all, no matter how vital you are, it’s going to catch up with an 83-year-old quicker than a 60-year-old.

But it was a quandary, as I say. You could argue that one should go for it, and enjoy life to the fullest no matter how few years you may have left. After all, any one of us could be dead tomorrow. They were compatible, were wildly attracted to one another, and got along great. On the other hand, the age factor: not something to be taken lightly at that age.

In this circumstance, i would say ‘no, to each there own’. The only time it matters is when there are legal consequences (and that’s not to say that’s the only reason it matters).

I say if someone is 20 or 30 years older than you and you are of legal age and interested, go for it. You have to grab happiness while you can on this orb.

As long as you both are legal, there’s no problemo.

"That’s like dating my dad or someone his age… How old is too old? "

A twenty year difference may not seem the same from other circumstances. I’m 43, my husband’s 60, nearly the 20 year gap.

My dad is 93, he’s well old enough to be my husband’s father as well.

Must say though that husband is more conscious of the age gap. There are times he will be in the middle of a remembrance, and stop and go ‘You weren’t even born yet!’

My 60-something aunt has been dealing with her 80-something husband’s dementia for several years now. It’s painful to watch.

Love can be short sighted at times.


(I married a much older woman. I never let her forget about that 3 month difference in age)

Though it would probably have been much more difficult for her if she was an 80-something aunt dealing with an 80-something husband’s dementia for years.

While I do agree with the “whatever works for you”, I like the “half plus seven” as a rough rule of thumb. Take the case from the OP, half of 60 is 30, plus the 7 gets to 37, she’s older than that so its okay. Consider if it was the same couple 30 years ago. He’d be 30, half plus seven would be 22, she’d only be 10 so it wouldn’t be okay.

Just a rule of thumb and exceptions can and do work but it indicates a general difference in maturity that has to be considered (maybe she was more mature than average at age 10 :dubious: )

You all make great points. I’m just going to be happy for her. :slight_smile:

I agree that age can be problematic, but once you hit 40 and I got 8 years to go, once you hit 40, I only see it being an issue if you plan to bring children into the equation

I’m 66, and my partner is 46. Exactly 20-year difference (same birthday). I like the age difference, because you’re forced to experience life from two difference perspectives. Plus we have a wider variety of friends of all ages.

LOL I like you Tripolar you’re funny…

Same with my parents. She was 6 months older, and he never missed an opportunity to remind her.

I’ve mentioned this before. My husband is 18 year younger than I. No one notices, us least of all. he keeps me young, I keep him grounded.

A 40 year old woman and a 60 year old man? It’s a significant age difference, but both are mature adults with lots of experience under their belts. To each their own. :slight_smile:

Met my husband when I was 40 and he was 61. Married, first time for me, second time for him, when I was 50 and he was 71. Now 62 and 83 years old and still giggling together in bed at night.

And I am extremely glad that I patiently kissed enough frogs to get The Prince.

Take it from me, there are a LOT of reasons to do business with an established firm.
Let me name a few:

Older guys actually understand how to be really romantic.
Older guys have perspective–they don’t think a minor tiff is the start of the End of The World.
Older guys know about all kinds of things you don’t, just by virtue of having lived through them.
Older guys are a reliable guide to what to watch on TCM, and get the senior discount at the new movies.
Often you can fly cheaper as your older guy’s “senior companion.”

And trust me on this–underneath the silver hair, they’re ALL 18 years old at heart! The cutest part about boys–that impetuous male cockiness-- is still right there if you just look for it a little. When you find it, encourage it. You’ll love the results.

I have no trouble telling the difference between my Man and my Dad.

When I was 27 I dated a woman 10 years older than me. Age per se wasn’t a problem, however, as an indirect result of our age difference she was a divorced single parent of a 10-year-old boy. Ultimately we broke up because we were just going in different directions and had very different priorities and objectives. It wasn’t because our age numbers were 10 apart but rather than we were just at different stages of our lives.

I can imagine a 40-year-old woman who is not looking to start a family at that time in her life could easily have a great relationship with a 60-year-old guy. I’m 54 and 60 doesn’t look that old to me anymore :slight_smile:

And age difference is less important as you get older and more mature. I would not be as supportive if she were 20 and he were 40. (“You’re seventeen, I’m thirty-two, I’m not too old for you…” --Root Boy Slim)

roll of the dice.
My now 93 yo father had a young chickie for a 3rd wife (my mom) count em 26 years younger than him. He was 44 and she was 18 when they ran off together. She always said to appreciate him because we may not get a long time with him. He was retiring as I started college.

She’s been dead 12 years now.