I have been staying with some friends in Delaware for the summer. They are a married couple, and the wife (my very good friend) is pregnant. In the beginning, it was considered a delicate pregnancy, and she had to abstain for the first three weeks of my visit. On the day that she found out she was allowed to have sex again, we put her two daughters down for their nap, and we were sitting in the livingroom at about 1 o’clock in the afternoon. Wifey and Hubby went upstairs and made love, leaving me all alone, in the livingroom, in broad daylight.
I felt very awkward, and I thought it was quite rude.
I casually mentioned this when it came up in conversation (I was careful not to be accusatory), and hubby went off. Apparently, he thinks that since he and wifey are married, they should be allowed to have sex whenever they want.
Since when is being married an excuse slip from being polite?
Well, they certainly could have been much more tactful. Or, perhaps, because they consider you a very close friend they did not think you would be offended or embarassed about it.
If you really like these people, and don’t think they were trying to be rude, then don’t worry. It shouldn’t be that embarassing, unless all you heard were 30 minutes of primal screams and moans, animal noises, various and sundry “wet sounds”, sobbing, whips cracking, chains clanking, and crashing furniture…
They are obviously placing a greater value on sex than on you.
Let your “very good friend” know how you feel about it. If she decides that getting laid is more important, I’d suggest finding somewhere else to stay next time.
Anthracite, it’s not about embarassment (correct me if I’m wrong, Lotus). It’s about saying “we can have sex now, so we’re going to. Have fun, we’ll be back.”
The implication is that sex is more important than a friend. And that’s rude, even if it’s true.
Friends don’t resent friends who are “gettin some.”
No, in all seriousness, I don’t think being married has anything to do with your question. I’d find it more understandable (if not excusable) if the couple in question wasn’t married and perhaps lacked times/places to get it on. It suggests they have to leap at the chance instead of wait for bedtime.
Perhaps they thought that they were also giving you some free time to do whatever–no kids awake, they are otherwise occupied, etc. Maybe they’re treating you less like a guest and more like another household member–which might, in their view, constitute a compliment. If you’re there for a weekend, I could see where it might feel like a slap in the face, losing some of your together-time while they go off and do the nasty. But if you’re there for a longer period of time, well, that’s different–or might be, anyway, in their eyes
I have never lived with another couple, but we’ve vacationed with others. Depending on the comfort level of the company, we’ve had couples who made little jokes about Love In The Afternoon and went off to have their interlude. It was more something to smile indulgently over than to be mad about. However, other friends would find it tasteless to discuss it, much less to leave the party before bedtime to do it. From the outside, it sounds like your hosts thought they were in the first situation but were actually in the second. Are you annoyed because you think it’s tactless, or because you feel they shouldn’t leave you alone, or because you think it’s unusually indulgent to have sex when it’s broad daylight?
They do realize that this is how she got pregnant in the first place?!?
I agree with Kellibelli.
I mean would you rather have them slip off, or would you rather have them start goin at it right there in front of you.
Now maybe you are “friends” and you’re insulted that they didn’t start goin at it right there. That’s a whole different issue. I see nothing wrong with their behavior though. Get the fuck over it.
Sweet Lotus, you said you’re staying with them for the whole summer, right?
What, did you expect a married couple to abstain from sex for three whole months simply because they have a houseguest?
Now, if you were just over for dinner, and they decided to have a quickie between the salad and the main course, yes, that would be rude. But you are now a member of their household. They have to change some aspects of their lives to include you, but not everything.
At least they did you the courtesy of putting the kids to bed while they did their thing. They could have asked you to babysit.
No, I expect them to not just run off (which they did, btw, they didn’t even have the courtesy to say “We’d like some time alone with one another.” It was just; “See ya, Lotus!”) and leave me all alone in a strange house in broad daylight while they do the nasty.
My parents would never, ever have done that to a houseguest. This kind of behaviour is totally outside my realm of experience.
If they want to have sex, they can do it like normal people, when their houseguests are sleeping, or out of the house.
Normal people? Who makes that definition? Normal to you seems to be different than normal to me. Granted, they could have been a bit more tactful about it, but did they actually say they were going off to their room to have sex? Or did they just put the kids down then say “See ya, Lotus!” and disappear?
Remember, you are in their house for the summer. They might change some things for your benefit. Maybe they were nudists before you arrived. But they shouldn’t be asked to change everything. Your being there for as long as you are they probably don’t see you as a houseguest, but as an extended part of the family.
Having been where they were, if the time is right and the kids are down, take advantage of it while you can. Especially after being told you can’t.
You are a guest in their house. Granted, it may have been rude of them not to excuse themselves, but what they were doing is irrelevant.
Different couples have different sex lives. I don’t think you should impose your delicate sensitivities on the people who are putting you up. If they want to go and get it on, regardless of the time of day, then more power to them. It’s not like it was in the bathroom during Thanksgiving with Gramma and and the whole famdamnily there. It was just you.
Once again, they should have excused themselves, but that’s all.
They’ve done nothing worth ending your friendship over. With the exception of not broadcasting to you that they were going to go and “bone-down”, and could you just hold on for a few minutes, there’s no rudeness here.
I think you’re being a touch on the sensitive side, and have over-reacted. If I was in Hubby’s shoes I might just blow up at your issue with my sex-life, married or not.
Like someone said above…at least they didn’t make you babysit while they got it on.
What, you would have preferred to be tied to a tree in the dark?
When you live with someone THAT long, you kind of cease being a guest, and become a member of the family unit. Surely they don’t serve you dinner each night, and make your bed for you each morning?
Is it the sex, or the leaving you alone that irks you?
And what’s with the “broad daylight” business?
If they had said “see ya” and gone upstairs to rest/read/nap while the kids were down, would you have gotten all bothered about it (doubt it)? If they had put the kids to bed a bit early one night, and then gone to bed early themselves (“boy I’m tired honey, how 'bout you?” wink, wink…coy smile) would that have been a problem (I bet it would have)? Do they need to wait until you decide to go somewhere by yourself, or stay up late to be sure that you’re asleep and then do it only in the missionary position? Or send you on a patently ridiculous errand (can you go get some prop wash?) - wait, but then you’d know.
Yes, hosts need to be considerate and accomodating of guests. Guests, especially those staying for extended periods, need to realize they are in someone else’s home, and the hosts entire life does not revolve around the guest.
Sorry, it sounds like they were reasonably discreet. No sympathy from me.
Well of course being married gives you the right to walk around with no clothes on! But what does being married have to do with it? The girlfriend and I do it all the time! It’s fun!
WAIT!!!
Normal people have sex at night?!? Normal people don’t have sex during the day?!
Dammit! ALl my life, I thought I was a normal people, but now I see I’m some kind of freak.
I can’t understand being upset because they excused themselves and left you alone. I mean, seriously, read a book. Watch TV. Post on the SDMB. Don’t sit their and stew because silly married people wanted to have some fun. Believe it or not, the whole world doesn’t revolve around you. Once in a great while, you will be expected to entertain yourself.