I intellectually understand the philosophy of “Just regard the flame as a collection of pixels with no real life or substance and pretend the poster doesn’t actually exist. In another thread, you two may actually talk about candy canes and puppies, so who knows?” but I don’t operate that way. To me, all posters are “real people,” and I hold likes and dislikes of them just like people I know IRL. I also hold them accountable just like people IRL–if someone acts like an asshole, I am going to think of them that way in the next thread, too. It isn’t as if someone gets to start over with every new thread, at least not with me.
Over the years, the internet has gotten to be a much friendlier place. Maybe us guys who have been around since the Usenet days need to adjust. My gamut of emotions from reading message boards run from slightly annoyed to kind of amused. I am particularly amused to see people characterize others who write flames as “typing their responses with clenched jaws and being enraged” or “as being unhappy losers” or whatever. It’s just a bunch of pixels on a screen generated by someone who has never met you. No biggie.
I got to agree, DrMemory was mildly condescending in that other thread and he has completely mischaracterised JohnT’s response as a flame.
Oh wait, no one said that yet? Heh.
Agreed. Someone in an Enterprise thread a few months ago posted saying he was ecstatic that the finale took place on a TNG holodeck because it “proves it’s not canon” and after I corrected him about his misconception, he replied saying he is an uberfan and has forgotten more about the series than I’ll ever know. It was so idiotic and completely over the top that I doubt I will ever be able to read another post of his again without rolling my eyes or dismissing it out of hand.
As for the OP: eh. **DrMemory ** was condescending but so was **JohnT ** and both were too reactionary in their replies to perceived insult.
They both need to thicken their skins some.
I don’t know how many of you frequent the Pit, but I’ve pretty much ignored it for the longest time. When I first ran down the titles to posts, I convinced myself that half of them were written by 12 year olds, getting a chance to use foul language, and actually see it on the screen. I, one day last week, opened a Pit thread because I recognized a name from other forums.
Yikes!
Talk about split personalities. A poster that talks of sunflowers in IMHO, now wants to stuff hurricane storm debris down George Bush’s throat. Another calls Barbara Bush a cunt. Talk about seeing the other side of people. You want to see flaming, just for the sake of it, delve into the Pit. For absolutely no reason, people are smacked down with the most vile hate I’ve ever seen printed.
My point being, These angry people in the Pit do tune it down in other forums, but I’ve noticed that…because you can’t use another screen name when you want to be nice…they just can’t help themselves. A lot of unwarranted flaming is coming off the fingers of these few who are having a hard time in life, and have found an outlet here. Maybe it’s some sort of therapy for them.
I keep on going when I see it. I have a ducks back, keep on throwing water on me, It rolls off.
How do you know this?
In My Humble Opinion is the forum here, no?
It’s not just you, laina_f. I, too, have noticed that there seems to be an increase in unprovoked personal assaults, even in threads that are discussing innocuous subjects. And I’m not speaking of The Pit, but of snarky, angry responses in other SDMB forums. I’d like to grow the thick skin that people speak of, but it hasn’t happened yet. Flames hurt.
Heh. Some of the people here can be total assholes. I don’t know what to tell you though.
I have not noticed an increase in snarky responses, but I am a bit of a lightweight and usually stay in the mellower regions of the SDMB.
I’ve only been what maybe could be considered flamed here once, awhile back.
I did feel sort of attacked, but it was so over the top that yeah, I did get this feeling that wow, this person must be having quite a sad time of it IRL.
The flamer eventually turned out to be persona non grata on the SDMB.
I don’t pay the slightest bit of attention to it. It’s only a message board.
You know, the more I think about this, the more I don’t** understand it. What does “it’s only a message board” mean? Sure, the people here might not be as important as loved ones, but they are people typing out those messages. What do you mean when you say that?
So true. But don’t waste time thinking about. I do get where you’re coming from DrMemory - the Art of being gracious and non-asshole-ish really seems to have flown out the window these days. Maybe the people who behave like this don’t have much of a social life in the real world? They’re out of practice, so to speak.
FTR I am thin-skinned but getting better.
What has helped is when I consider the source. The point has been made about respectful disagreement in appropriate forums GD certainly, IMHO usually, But Cafe society? Your opinion about this movie is juvenile, MY opinion OTOH is correct – that seems almost an inappropriate to me - let alone the actual flaming. That would really bother me. State why you like/hate the book movie and leave my opinion alone!
Errrr, have you ever heard of sacrcasm?
(that is what this part of my post is and I agree 1000%with your post Revtim, in fact I wish I had said that).
Just make your point : “I disagree” – there is no reason to act supercillious.
One thing I’ve noticed on the increase here is that you seemingly have to caveat the piss out of even the simpliest of statements, lest someone postulate a scenaro taken to the extreme that you obviously never intended in the first place.
For instance, poster says that after a criminal has paid their debt to society that we can’t restrict where they live. Response comes in that oh yeah, well my sister was molested by a ped that moved in after he was freed and I suppose you’re okay with that? What, are you a ped too? And all of a sudden hackles are raised and people who probably feel basically the same are nevertheless teeing off on each other.
If some folks wouldn’t actively look for something to be offended by, if they’d just assume good intent on the part of others, a whole lot less of this flaming would be necessary.
I mean that I don’t allow the postings of people I don’t know except on a very superficial basis get to me. If one of the posters was someone I knew and had an actual relationship ship with outside of this venue I may feel otherwise, but absent that - why get bent out of shape? Except for this board, we’re complete strangers.
You idiot!
bursts into tears
Boy, is that the truth. Having to “caveat the piss out of” every simple statement is my biggest complaint about this place.
I’ve been flamed very few times. After making a tongue-in-cheek swipe at Hillary Clinton (no pun intended) in a GD thread two days ago, I thought someone would reach for the matches. No response. Meh.
That said, I’ve been misrepresented many times, most recently on a GQ thread re: “Good Will Hunting.” This latest episode irked me, but I managed to center myself, breathe deeply, and think happy thoughts–knowing a couple of goons from New Jersey are just a telephone call away. 