Ya know, I’m no fan of organized religion, but this seems like a pretty lame-assed attempt to discredit belief in God. What if he was invoking the wrong one? What if he was out of his mind? Or drunk?
All this proves is that God is tired of having His Name invoked by idiots.
Three cheers for the lion.
This only proves a belief that I’ve held for years: lions are Godless Heathens.
I see this as a challenge to the faith of Man, and I call upon all organized religions to take up this challenge and to re-direct the travels of all of their missionaries to worlds zoos.*
*Some A-1 sauce would be appreciated as well. >:-)
OK, Jesus. Two trains leave different cities heading toward each other at different speeds. Train A, traveling 70 miles per hour (mph), leaves NYC heading toward Chicago, 713 miles away. At the same time Train B, traveling 60 mph, leaves Chcago heading toward NYC. When do the two trains meet? How far from each city do they meet? What State and city will they be closest to when they meet ? How much more has the engineer from Chicago had to drink than the engineer from NYC by the time they meet? For the sake of the problem, lets assume that they are both drinking Jack Daniels. Will either still be sober enough to wave at the other when they pass?
Of course, in Christian theology, being saved indicates salvation from the fires of Hell. By striking down the doofus, God prevented the idiot from committing any sins that would interfere with him being saved. So the guy was right; God did save him. (God also saved (more typical meaning) us from the twit’s next performance.)
Of course, this begs the question… Was this man religious and risking his life to try to prove there is a God? If that’s the case, and he’s Christian, then he was acting contrary to what God commanded, as Lord Ashtar pointed out already. Or, was this man not religious and trying to prove there was no god? Either way, he’s a moron, because no matter the result, the side he was attempting to support or disprove would easily have a way to justify what happened.
Jesus: “Shoot the hostage!”
Reminds me of a joke I heard once…
A man is caught in a flood. As the flood waters begin to rise on his home he prays to god to be saved from this terrible flood. He is a man of great faith and is confident that God will save him from this disaster. A fireman comes along walking in hip waders from house to house helping people escape before the waters get too much higher. He knocks on the door and the man answers and he says, climb on my back and I’ll carry you to safety but the man refuses saying “no, I have faith, god will save me”.
The flood waters rise and the man is forced to retreat to the second floor of his home. Here a policeman comes by in a boat and says climb in and I’ll take you to safety. But again the man refuses saying “no, I have faith, god will save me”.
The flood waters continue to rise and the man is forced on to his roof. A helicopter comes by and seeing him lowers a ladder. The rescuers from the helicopter holler down to him to climb the ladder so he can be taken to safety but again he refuses saying “No, I have faith, God will save me”.
The waters continue to rise and the man is swept away and drowned.
Upon arriving in heaven because he was a good and faithful man he gets his first audience with the Lord. At this time he asks “God, I had so much faith, I was more faithful than anyone, why, why dear Lord, didn’t you save me from that flood?”
And the Lord replied
“I sent a fireman, a boat and a helicopter, what more did you want me to do?”
I assume the Lions are going to be using the “He needed killing” defense when sent to meet their maker…
Lions have a very strong sense of smell.
The man shouldn’t have taken off his shoes.
That’s easy. They meet just before 5 1/2 hours into their journey, between Painesville and Chardon, OH, and the engineers have had the same amount to drink since they’ve been on the road the same length of time, and neither should be drunk if they’ve been nursing their bottles for five and a half hours.
Unfortunately, we have to disallow your question, since the only way to get from NYC to Chitown in 713 miles is to tunnel through the Alleghenies, and below Lakes Erie and Michigan to have a direct line distance.
tomndebb, you’re Jesus? :eek:
That sure explains a lot, doesn’t it?
Just a good friend.
Yes, but what would Jesus do…?
Actually, that was Jack Bauer, but the similarities are rather striking.
velvetjones, I was going to relay that exact story – the article invoked the same reaction with me.
Upon reread, the version I had heard involved a man driving a semi in a blizzard who crashed and was half-buried in the snow. But the idea and moral are identical.
I foolishly started an identical thread, but I have to say that Reuters has comic timing beyond that of 99% of sit-coms.
“The man shouted ‘God will save me, if he exists’, lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions,” the official said.
“A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery.”
Man. That kills me. Or him, I guess.