MadSam wrote
People say the camera adds 10 pounds, but they never did say where.
Voted Rookie of the Year in MPSIMs and the Pit, along with Best One-liners.
And I don’t plan on keeping this as my sig for long, just until the winning buzz wears off.
< In best hackneyed German Psychiatrist Accent >
Pliss obserf, liebshein, vot ve haf here ist der classic case uff ‘vanker enfy’;
zis ist complicated by der fact zat zis unfortunate shmekel obfiously suffers from zat most ancient uff havaiian diseases, ‘Lakanuki’, to ze extent zat it has efen placed him beyond the cure off von gut lei.
Pliss note hiss exacheration uff hiss vanker, un obfious symptom uff shpending too much time shpanking hiss monkey.
Ya it iss in my professional opinion zat zis poor creature ist kaput, und ze only humane sing ve can do ist to haf him schott!
VB
“Rudyard Kipling?”
“Don’t know; I’ve never Kippled!”
Phew…and here i thought someone was house sitting for him!
Oh yah Falcon…he is a dick!
-Frankie
I’m a wholesale dealin papa, but I retail on the side.-Brownie McGhee
Sorry I’m a few days behind the game. A couple of days ago, Michael Masterson said:
I suspect the same could be said of your huge penis.
And to use a Drew Carey line:
One LAST thing, after I re-read this post I realized something, the guys in general at SD message board (that responded to my column) have smaller penises, but im an exception to the rule!
Mikey said:
More proof that this squid is a lying, delusional troll. Didn’t he earlier have a good laugh at everyone’s expense for believing his “psychological study”?
And, Mike, speaking as a “real man”, the better the relationship, the better the sex. It has nothing to do with large genitals, enormous breasts, hard abs or tight buns. Take it from a 40-ish guy with love handles, man-tits and a “piddly” 7-inch crank.
Oh yeah, and a very active and satisfying sex life for both me and my wife of nearly 18 happy years. The biggest and most active sex organ is the brain, closely followed by the heart. If both of those are in good working order, the physical traits won’t matter, and the physical pleasure will be great.
Jerk.
The Dave-Guy
“Since my daughter’s only half-Jewish, can she go in up to her knees?” J.H. Marx
To re-cap: SIZE matters!
Yeah…the size of his tongue, maybe.
Since this is MPSIMS and not the Pit, I will wager a response. I’m certain it’s a waste of my typing skills, but here I go, regardless:
-
It is well known on this board that the love of my life is a very large man–every bit as big as the size you purport. (When I saw the Tommy Lee video, I didn’t understand why everyone thought he was huge–he looked average to me.) This has indeed created difficulties in our sex life; one of my more infamous threads, “Oral Sex Techniques,” was a search for how to possibly please my man when physical compatabilities are limited. He is a satisfied man, but due to his size, certain things do not fit. Literally. It would have been easier if he were of the 6" variety, yes, but I love him dearly and don’t mind the adjustments. And believe me, our sex life rocks both our respective worlds–but not because he’s huge.
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The only people who care about penis size are other men. Scientific studies (there was one featured in Discover magazine two years ago) postulate that the reason a male human being is so over-equipped (compared to a much larger primate–a 300lb male gorilla has a 3" penis, and it’s perfectly functional) is to impress other males. They called it the “locker room” display–a large penis can be waved before other men as a way of saying, “Look how superior I am!” (Of course, it isn’t that blatant, but when the buzz starts, the effect is the same.) Whereas the females look and have a reaction not unlike Opal’s–YOW! This article discussed how actually an overly large penis is counterproductive, painful, and ineffective. (DB, weren’t you with an unGodily huge man? Can you relate?) However, the large penis determines a man’s status among other men, rather like a buck flaunting his antlers: “Look, I’m the biggest, baddest man around!” Other men: “OOooooh!” Women: “Whatever.” My s/o’s roommates have oftened commented on his size–they are the ones who bring up the conversation topic, compare sizes, etc. My s/o doesn’t brag, has never bragged, and has no need to brag–his roommates get the buzz going for him, much to my s/o’s embarrassment. Heck, he can’t even buy the Magnum size condoms because he’s too embarrassed to–he doesn’t want to look like he’s bragging. You know, like the OP.
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Intellect: my father was an aerospace engineer/Chief Scientist responsible for several patents on the shuttle engine cones. He is an internationally recognized figure in his field. My mother has dual masters degrees–so don’t bother going down that road. I’m also thin and well-equipped breast-wise, so don’t bother going down that road, either.
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Hey girls, do you ever notice that when you reject a man, they tend to fly back with “Oh yeah, wuhl, I’m rejecting you! I didn’t want you anyway! Yah! So there!” Example: “I wouldn’t even throw pocket change at you,” said after Opal had said she was done with this braggart. She rejected him, but oh no, see…he’s rejecting her. Right! That’s it!
Whatever.
Teaching: The ultimate birth control method.
Poster You’d Most Like to Date–Female
Second Official SDMB Awards
I thought I’d bump this to save from possible deletion. This was my first thread! 
Yeah, this really needs to be saved :rolleyes:.
Besides, I think the pruning was only for threads inactive since Jan. 1st, 2000, and was already done. If this has such sentimental value to you, save a copy on your hard drive.
Yes, it does matter.
Ok now I’m confused, and can’t seem to find my “Guide to Dopers current and former selves” handbook.
Silo says that this was his first thread. I know he was a bad troll and then converted. Who in this thread was Silo?
Silo was the OP…
Michael Masterson
LMAO Silo… your a fuckin nut! I have half a mind to bump ALL the MM threads just for laughs. LOL! 
You’ve all torn MM to shreds, so I just wanted to point out that I found this amusing :). Was it intentional that you put your breast size and build under intellect? 
Just buggin’ ya :).
For some reason this thread reminds me of a movie dialogue:
Susan: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
Chris: Not right now.
Susan: A girl’s gotta have her standards.
::shudders::
I was bored a few days ago, so for a laugh, I went back and looked at all the threads. There’s some hilarious stuff in there, hehe.
So you want to save your trolling for posterity? I thought you’d moved beyond that, Mike.