Doggies fundie bus ride

My car is in the shop for a few days and I’ve rediscoverd the wonders of public transportation. So I take the bus to work. Oh my, look! In addition to the usual compliment of panhandlers and kooks, it looks like we’ve got religious nuts hanging around the bus stop today. Perhaps they’ll leave me alone.

You guys have never done anything funny or interesting. At least when kooks want to talk to you about the microchips in their skulls, they are being entertaining. Give up. You really can’t top that. Just because I’m traveling on public transportation does not mean you are free to aggravate the shit out of me and I don’t consider myself a captive audience for your proselytizing. I’ve been polite, even though you have no expectation of courtesy from me when you question my beliefs.

I’ve said no thank you. I’ve said I’m not interested.
Now it’s time for you to go away, ok?

It’s not my fault that you ended up choosing fundamentalism, the World Wide Westling Federation of religions.
Three billion other people and I don’t believe in “your lord” either, and we don’t like it when some babbling Mouseketeer whom we’ve never met just assumes that we do. You don’t know me or what I do. It’s arrogant presumption. Not that I was expecting a whole lot of sensitivity from a fundie but you guys always manage to fuck up and disappoint me. Being rude and patronising is a BAD thing, ok? Thinking it’s ok because “God said so” didn’t wash when you were five and it won’t wash now.

I see you hanging around bus stops and downtown city blocks all the time. Is it easier for you to prey upon people who are going through hard times? Easier to target people who are mentally or emotionally vulnerable? Well, knock yourself out if that’s the best you can manage but don’t expect me to willingly participate in your mental and spiritual self-destruction. I sense that your ability to concentrate is limited, so let me bottom-line this for you: You leave ME along and I’ll leave YOU alone, you obnoxious fucks.

Trust me, you don’t want to share a “special moment” with ME, you puppy-fucking pinhead! If you could see what I think of you for even a microsecond you would have run screaming into oncoming traffic. Save the “our lord” stuff for church, where you have a reasonable expectation of meeting people that believe in the same things you do.

And don’t forget to HAVE A NICE DAY!

I think it’s just the World Wrestling Federation (no Wide), but this is still a great line! I’ve never seen a more apt description of fundamentalism in so few words.

Ya know, I’ve been chatting with God lately, and He gets really annoyed by the fundies, too. Score one for the good guys!

Why don’t you try to sell them some Amway stuff?


There’s no reason to insult the WWF!

Don’t you mean Have a Blessed Day?


Just to let you know, the World Wide Wrestling Federation was the no hoper doomed to failure predecessor of the WWF, so technically, Dog Wonder is correct.

Oh, and Dog Wonder,

Foley is Good!!

Along the same lines, not much of a response, but I think it was funny.