I don’t see the point to go on anymore. Everything in my life is coming crashing down on top of me.
First off, my girlfriend, the only person I’v ever loved, broke up with me. She gave no reason, only for me to find her spending a lot of time with my another guy two days later, whom she never spent any time with before.
Secondly, I am going to fail all my college courses save two. I don’t think I’m going to continue my studies, assuming I last long enough to make that decision.
Third, to make matters worse, I’m all alone in the world. There is no one I can talk to, all my friends I have here I got through my ex, so now I’m a pathetic loser who spends all his free time in his room all alone.
I don’t see why this is happening, why to me. What did I do?
This is the only place I can go to to let it all out, so I did.
You don’t have to reply, I just needed to get it in gthe open somewhere’s.
Hey Dude,get a grip! You might not see a point right now, but I’m pretty sure there is one. When shitty things happen, I seldom ever figure out why. What I HAVE figured out, after 40+ years, is that it always gets better. Always.
My guess is, it’s not the right time in your life to be in school, look around and see what else catches your eye. As for the girl, your first love is seldom your only love. Why this stuff all happens at once, I don’t know. But it seems to happen that way.
Hang in there, keep in touch. I’ll be interested to see what your life has in store for you.
Bouv, this sort of thing seems to happen to people in college. Maybe it has to happen in order for us to mature as human beings. Maybe it’s just that sometimes life sucks. Dragonlady’s right, though, it does get better with time, but it’s really hard to see that or take any comfort in the thought when you’re in the middle of the depths.
Hang in there, and keep letting people know how you’re feeling. If you’d like to pour it out some more, please go ahead and email me. It can sometimes help to just let it all out to someone who’s been through it before you.
Have to chime in here and say it’s true: the first and only love is rarely the one you end up with. In fact I’ve never seen it happen among people I know well. There’s someone better out there for you, bouv, take my word for it.
As for your college classes, this is life’s way of kicking you in the ass and saying “hey! time for a change bouv!”
What you should be thinking of now is: what is that change going to be? It may help to ask yourself ‘Where do I want to be in six months?’ [after this college term is behind you].
Working fulltime? Where? Working part time and taking a more manageable college load? Living with a roommate? CLoser to your family? Get going. You’ve got a lot of exciting decisions to make. If you’re at the bottom of the swimming pool there’s only one place you can go when you push off, and that place is UP.
Permanent Solution to a Temporary Problem.
I keep telling myself that these things don’t matter, but I can’t get over it.
For God’s sakes I’m crying right now about it.
Maybe I’m clinically depresses, or manic-depressive, or something. I’ve always had times in my life when I feel this way, it’s just never lasted more than a day or so until now.
I don’t know what it is, but I can’t seem to have anything go right for me.
Maybe it’s all in my head. I don’t know. I don’t care.
It’s not as bad as you think. It seems so right now, but it’s really not as bad as you think. Most people over 25 have been there at least once. It’s horrible when you’re going through it, but you need to know that IT WILL GET BETTER.
So…take a step back and take a few breaths. Buckle down and see if you can’t pull off at least a passing grade in one of the classes you’re currently failing, then take the next semester off and think for a bit.
And…feel free to drop me a line if you need to vent - my email address is in my profile.
bouv, please see someone for help. Your school must have a student health program. Go there tomorrow morning, and tell them you’re very depressed and having self-destructive thoughts. They won’t panic and they won’t lock you up, but they will start you on the road to getting help. You won’t have to take antidepressants if you don’t want to, but you need to talk to someone who knows what he or she is doing!
Serious depression often hits for the first time in college, but it is not a normal part of college life – or a normal part of any kind of life. If student health won’t work for you, then call a hotline, call a doctor, or show up at an emergency room. But please see someone right away.
Well, I’ve been in pretty much the exact same situation. Was in a nasty break-up with my girlfriend, failing all of my classes and low on friends because I had managed to alienate most of them while dating the girlfriend in question. Was extremely depressed, did stupid stuff I shouldn’t have done and generally was in a pretty messed up shape. It does get better.
I won’t bother telling you how to get better, because I don’t know your life well enough to be that bold. For me, it was a matter of talking the whole thing out with some people, including my mother (might as well be honest with everything when you have to explain your grades anyway), starting a new job and basically turning my life around. The relationship thing is almost always the hardest; you can’t just start a new one on a whim, but you can keep yourself busy with other things. Join some clubs or something next semester so you start meeting new people who share your interests.
I do have to agree with the counseling thing. My school offered 10 free sessions per semester, one on one, with a psychologist. I imagine most schools have a similar offer. Again, you might as well go once and see what happens.
Amen to Catrandom’s solid advice. Go see someone (a professional someone) and let them know what is going on. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
You said “maybe it’s all in my head” – well, truer words were never spoken. Essentially, everything is all in your head, right? That doesn’t mean that pain or depression that you feel isn’t real and valid.
You might be thinking that talking to a counselor at your school will result in a huge, negative scene. But a counselor’s goal is #1 to make sure that you are safe and that you get more help if you need it. He or she is not out to humiliate you or get you in trouble. At the very least, a health counselor at your school can help you figure out what your options are about your academic situation.
Taking a break from college is not the end of the world. I dropped out of school and found that I really enjoyed working. When the time was right, I went back and loved every minute of my classes.
Come back to the boards and let us know how you are doing. Sometimes it helps to vent to people who are removed from your situation. You’ll get plenty of support here.
It’s not worth it. I climbed over the rails of the Ford Bridge, ready to toss myself into the cold arms of the Mississippi, over the same stuff - first lover gone away, school pointless, isolated, manic depressive… decided it was arrogant to assume things wouldn’t improve in the next 60 years or so I might have left.
Sure, there have been high points and low points, but over all, the canvas is more light than dark. And I would have missed it all if I jumped.
There was nobody there to tell me “This is normal,” so I’m telling you.
And I expect you to pass it on.
I appreciate all of your concern. I think I’m going to have to do some serious thinking about where my life is headed. College might not be the right thing, or maybe just not right now. I’m glad that eveyone here is there for me (is that an oxymoron?)
See, look at that, feelin’ better already (well, not a lot better, just a little.)
I’ll be sure to keep eveyone notified of what happens to me, one way or another.
And thank you all again, for being there when no one else would.
“Wait for something better. Everything changes.” - Rodan (the band, not the monster)
and, geez, whatever you do, don’t try to drown yr sorrows.
{bouv}
We’ll always be there for you, right here. 
No shit, look what it did to Homer!
::ducks and runs::
Hey bouv, listen to the nice people. While what you are going through and feeling is “normal” in the sense that most of us feel that way sometimes, professional help could make things much easier and (huge benefit here) you might learn something about yourself and life that will help you. Not knowing you, it is hard to know what that will be, but you might learn more about yourself and relationships, or school, or just more about how you tick. Can you make it through this patch without counseling? Probably–in fact, almost definitely. But wouldn’t it be nice to do more than just survive this?