[QUOTE=Terrifel]
Now, Phoenicians; they know how to conspire.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, those dirty Phonicians. The world has been totally screwed up ever since they invented the “Phone”.
“The Pharisee Religion”?
[QUOTE=Terrifel]
The sad truth is that Jews have historically been fairly mediocre conspirators. Fine ethnic group, many sterling qualities, but skill at conspiracy? Not so much. Now, Phoenicians; they know how to conspire.
[/QUOTE]
To paraphrase Jack Nicholson in Prizzi’s Honor: If the Phoenicians are so fuckin’ smart, why are they so fuckin’ dead?
Oh, so you think you’re fit, do you? Your brother, now, he is fit. That Martin Feinman, he is fit. He is the fittest young man on the block. He is going to Stanford. That boy, he will survive.
I forgot to mention this in my previous post but it’s too bad Molly Ivins isn’t around anymore.
I would’ve loved to read her take on this story.
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99]
To paraphrase Jack Nicholson in Prizzi’s Honor: If the Phoenicians are so fuckin’ smart, why are they so fuckin’ dead?
[/QUOTE]
You miss the big picture. Appearing to be “fuckin’ dead” is just part of the Phoenicians’ conspiracy.
Jews didn’t invent religion.
We’re just its pinnacle achievement.
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal]
You bastards!
[/QUOTE]
The proper word in this context is mamzer, plural mamzerim.
As for the quotes from Sefer Charmin, that’s probably the other place that uses the trope phrase (chanting melody and punctuation) munach yareach-ben-yomo karnei-farah. Anybody know the melody for that phrase?
May I submit Wisdom 19:39 into evidence? Granted it’s Diaspora Judaism, not accepted as part of the Tanakh – but it’s clearly evilution in Scripture! 
Man, that fixedearth site is completely whack-a-doodle. Here’s a representative example from a page on “Kabbalist superstring physics.” (warning: site contains randomly colored text, caplocked inanities and other disordered characteristics which may be injurious to the eyeballs).
I’m pretty sure that’s not in Matthew.
I still can’t get around the contradiction that “Pharisee Religionists” want to "destroy the Bible’s credibility. Isn’t the Bible (at least the Tanakh) rather central to the “Pharisee religion?”
Lunatic anti-semitic websites are a dime a dozen on the internets but it still amazes me that an elected state official would publicly use it as a cite. Shouldn’t this end his career?
Maybe I’m still not cynical enough.
[QUOTE=Diogenes’ Insano-Site quote]
Rather, it has been a long labor of a Cabal of Pharisee Religionists to destroy the Bible’s credibility from Creation to Jesus to Heaven. That labor will soon be known to all to have been in vain.
[/QUOTE]
Then why the hell does it matter?
I’m always amazed at the amount of effort people put into things when they’re supposed to have already won. Evolution is bound to fail, and cannot overcome the truth? Great! So let’s go do the important stuff, you know, loving, cherishing, all that stuff that won’t happen unless we do it, and forget about the stuff that doesn’t even matter.
Gah.
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic]
Lunatic anti-semitic websites are a dime a dozen on the internets but it still amazes me that an elected state official would publicly use it as a cite. Shouldn’t this end his career?
[/QUOTE]
And you just know that this guy is being discreetly supported by a totally different group of Jewish conspirators. They’re probably some lesser cabal, all pleased with themselves at having added yet another layer of conspiracy, and totally oblivious to the fact that both the evolution and creationist Jews are now forced to work around their half-assed machinations.
This is exactly what happens with multiple conspiracies for conspiracy’s sake: pretty soon it’s impossible to remember who’s supposed to be conspiring against who.
[QUOTE=Tapioca Dextrin]
Darwin
The similarity is astounding!
[/QUOTE]
Especially given your attributions for the links. 
I was going to say just that, but you beat me to it, Tapioca Dextrin.
Ah, I see it’s going to be one of the ever-multiplying times I’m ashamed to have moved to Georgia.
And it’s only Wednesday.
Thanks for making South Carolina look advanced, Georgia.
I think I’ll go back to reading about the mayor of Macon converting to Islam, that gives me hope.
[QUOTE=Sarahfeena]
Ohmigosh, you are right…the Jews apparently invented Evolution AND Creationsim! It’s GOT to be a conspiracy!
[/QUOTE]
Just like Jews being agents of Godless Communism and sinister international bankers!
Ya gotta cover all bets. 
That website this GA representative cited is a hoot! Here we have indisputable proof that the stars move around the earth and not the other way around. Or something.
Oh, and it’s appalling that these people are in government.
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic]
*But this commandant pleased Moses not, and Moses was most distressed and he answered the LORD with confusion saying, “But LORD, Wouldst it not be much better to hangeth the bum-wiper so that it emerges from 'neath the roller and not above?”
And the LORD rebuked Moses, saying “No, I have commanded that it be hanged from the top, and that is what I meant. if I had meant to say it should hangeth from the bottom, I would have SAID ‘hangeth it from the bottom.’ I have told you to hangeth it from top and I am the LORD!”
But Moses still did not assent and said to the LORD, “but LORD, does thou not knowest that hanging it from the top is the gay way?”
And the LORD was much aggrieved and thundered down to Moses saying, “No! Hanging it from the bottom is the gay way. I am the LORD and I will decide what is the right way and what is the gay way! Now go and do my bidding and do not question me again or I will infest you with bleeding hemorrhoids.”
And Moses went out and hanged the wipers-of-bung as the LORD had commanded, but even unto the end of his days, Moses was much displeased by this and still thought it was the gay way (though he never told the Lord).*
[/QUOTE]
And God said to Moses “Thou shall leave the toilet seat up, although it will displease your wife. For in Eden, Eve tempted Adam and she is thus forever cursed to fall into the toilet at three in the morning.”
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd]
Actually, according to what was found at the Qumran community, early Christians were very passionate about anal hygiene. There are many references to the importance of a full immersion ritual bath as soon as possible after defecation.
[/QUOTE]
Sounds like they were rather anal about it. 
What a pity Molly Ivins never had the chance to write about this one! Insanity like this makes me miss her all the more.