Doper-Babes: You too can be a Stepford Wife!

The BBQ Pit
1

So I’m listening to the Idiot Morning-Guy on the radio (because screaming at the Idiot Morning-Guy on the radio wakes me up, that’s why.) when I hear this one commercial. I can’t believe what I’ve heard and figure it’s some sort of parody ad (although it’s much more clever than I’d credit the Idiot Morning-Guy with). But the Idiot Morning-Guy doesn’t say anything about it. I listen some more and lo, it comes on again!. I am astounded.

The recreation of the commercial starts out as close to verbatim as I can manage. Mostly :smiley: (I’ve changed the name of the product to avoid giving these creeps more exposure, but it’s name has the same sort of innuendo as my made-up-name).

Idiot Morning-Guy: Bullying is bad. It’s wrong to bully. In schools some kids are bullies. This is baaaad. Naughty kids! I don’ like bullies. Although I kicked ass when I was a kid. We’ll be back in a moment.

Creep (whining voice): Hoooooooney. Y’wanna…

Potential Stepford Wife (irritated, bitchy): Butch, you know I’m not interested since I’ve had the kids.

Creep (insanely happy): Well honey, while I was at the gym, I overheard two guys talking. They were talking about Weasel[sup]tm[/sup]: A new herbal product that stimulates hormones and make you more excited. It’s like an aphrodisiac. We can get it through the mail! No doctors needed! One of the guys said that now his wife wears him out!

Potential Stepford Wife (furious): Wait a sec. You mean that while I was taking care of the twins, you were at the gym, spying on strange men in the shower? Again?! Why didn’t you come home after work and actually help around the house for a change? Has it occured to you that if you actually talked to me about something other than sex and got off your goddamned ass and did some goddamned work that you wouldn’t need to drug me for sex? Has it occured to you that you’ve made sex about as exciting as double-entry bookkeeping? If you and your two inch long dick could do more than two quick pumps, a squirt and then you roll over and snore, leaving me the wet spot, you inadequ…

Creep (placatingly): Now honey, it’s not a drug, it’s herbal. Herrrrrbal. That’s why we don’t need any of those nasty doctors or psychiatrists! Weasel[sup]tm[/sup] is an all-natural suppliment and will take away all these bad thoughts and feelings. As a matter of fact, I got some and put it in your coffee!

Potential Stepford Wife: YOU DID WHAT!? You basta…rr…rrrwow! Honey, I talked all bad to you. I’m sorry. I been mean. I’m all sorry for th’ bad things I say to you! Let’s go beddy-bye and I can make it up to you! Gee honey, I’m glad you eavesdrop so well!

Well, maybe not those last few paragraphs, although the last line (about being glad he spies on strange men in showers) is accurate, but the actual implied message for Weasel[sup]tm[/sup] is that all the problem is the woman’s fault and that drugs (even “all-herbal” drugs) are the first resort to solving the problem of her lack of interest in sex. Frankly, if I was married to someone like the Creep, I wouldn’t be interested in sex either.

I’m stunned that the station that the Idiot Morning-Guy is on allows this commerical. It’s pretty damned obnoxious. And besides: either the stuff doesn’t work (if they’ve got a weasel-in-heat level aphrodsiac, they wouldn’t need cheesy radio-spots, they’d be in medical journals. Look at Viagra)in which case they’re fraudulently advertising, or the stuff does work, in which case they’re advocating giving serious medication without a doctor’s care.

Fenris

2

I’ve heard that commercial, too. While driving through St. Louis the other day.

{TMI Follows)
Mrs. Rastahomie sure as hell doesn’t need that stuff. I’m already worn out :D.

3

You know, I know this isn’t the sequential title thread, but I had to share.

Doper-Babes: You too can be a Stepford Wife!
They’re CHILDREN for fuck’s sake!
Fuck you too Dad!

Yes it’s happy go lucky family day here at the SDMB. Next up, “I want to anally penetrate my grandmother,” followed by “my third cousin twice removed can remove his penis and go fuck himself.”

4

Apparently, the morning crew doesn’t understand the difference between “I don’t want to have sex with you” and “I don’t want to have sex.”

Sure, you may be able to drug me into wanting more sex. But that doesn’t mean you’re a potential candidate.

Have they got a drug that makes men like this less stupid?

-L

5

Nope.:frowning:

6

Yeah, that’s ummm, real funny.
So.
Where did you say I could get this weasel?

7

At the risk of setting myself up as ‘target for today’:

  1. The morning crew doesn’t decide what ads run in their time slot.

  2. Radio stations will pretty much sell time to anyone with the dough. I’ve bought radio time myself and you can bitch-slap those folks around and the keep smiling and coming back for more.

  3. This product is merely an attempt to extend the ‘Viagra’ concept to a new market. I don’t see anyone complaining about the endless Viagra (or knock off products that all seem to incorporate a ‘V’ in their product name) commercials also on the radio.

8

Ooh, drugged into a life of sexual submission by Fenris? The horror, THE HORROR! :wink:

9

But the tone of the Viagra commercials is “You can be more vigorous and potent!”

The tone of this other product is “Men, your wives will be able to service you better.” If it was marketing itself to women as an aid for the woman, that’d be one thing. This ad is targeted towards men who’s women won’t put out enough. There’s a creepy “Stepford wives” tone to the commercial.

Fenris

10

The grossest thing about it is the product’s name. I’m sorry, “Weasel”? In the whole Stepford Wives’ vein, it makes me think of the rodent-like little strip of hair left on the pudenda of Playboy models. Or a Garden Weasel. Or any number of unsexy nasty things.

11

::: shudders ::::

I have issues with the whole advertising-of-medication bandwagon. “If you’re experiencing pubic hairloss, talk to your physician about Graftagopher. Side effects may include…”

I mean… gah! That’s why I have a family doctor! To know about the new drugs! It’s scary to think we’re walking in a world of self-medicated people… but it may well explain all sorts of other phenomena…

:smiley:

E.

12

I made up the name, as I didn’t want to give the company free advertising. It came from the phrase “weasels in heat”. The name of the product is similar, but smirkier

Fenris

13

Yeah, what is WITH that. It seems to be a FAIRLY new thing: Ask your doctor about Prozac/Zantac/Prilosec/Viagra/etc. I’m sure tons of people are running to the doc begging for drugs because they’re sure after a 30 second advertisement that they are capable of diagnosing themselves. Isn’t the DOCTOR supposed to decide if/when/what kind of drugs you need?

Sorry for the little hijack. But this really annoys me too.

-L

14

To continue the hijack, the pharmaceutical companies claim that the are making people aware of things like depression that might have previously gone undiagnosed. But yeah, the advertising bothers me too - “we might have a quick fix for your problem, but watch out for those uncontrollable bowel movements with oily discharge!” It must be working - there are new ads for wonderdrugs every day.

Hint to copywriters: If you are trying to advertise something to improve women’s sexual response, don’t call it anything remotely like “The Weasel.”

15

“The Weasel” is a dietary “supplement”, and, as such, avoids most of the scrutiny of the FDA. That’s how the various companies get away with implied claims. If you listen very carefully, you’ll find that it’s rare indeed to hear specific medical claims made by the marketers of “supplements”, because once they make such a claim, they become fair game for the FDA, which has no sense of humor. Instead, it’s done by way of broad hints and suggestive wording.

As for the marketing of drugs directly to the consumer, that came about after a loosening in the laws prohibiting such behavior. Naturally, the Pharmas made immediate hay with their new freedom. It’s similar to what happened when the rules prohibiting Lawyers from advertising were loosened.

16

*Originally posted by Fenris *
**

Fenris tries to put a beard on the name of this product but he is by no means successful here.

I hear of this product here and there and its right name is Teasel, and it is called Teasel for the good reason that it comes from the plant of the same name.

The reason I know this is because there are teasels in our garden, although garden overstates the matter more than somewhat. It is wild in its appearance due to neglect, and this neglect is due to the yardboy spending a great deal of his waking hours on message boards of one kind or another, and who is to say that this is wrong.

The teasel is greatly appreciated by a variety of bird called the goldfinch, especially when the plant runs to seed, and the doll goldfinches home in on these seeds like tomorrow never exists, and they eat these seeds with great relish.

While this happens the guy goldfinches wait in the trees around and about the neighbourhood, and when the doll goldfinches finish the teasel seeds they commence flying into these trees in order to give the guy goldfinches some lovin’.

I see this happen many times, and the season is fall when this happens, and fall is by no means a normal season for goldfinch lovin’, the right season for this lovin’ being the spring.

I recommend all dolls who read this information to consider this proposition very carefully indeed, unless they wish to throw themselves at various guys of one kind or another, and commence getting a bad name like the hostesses in Good Time Charley Bernstein’s Crystal Room.

There is no crystal in Charley’s room, in fact there is no room to speak of either, but that is another story altogether.

17

This is WHERE?

18

Well, most morning shows are aimed at the male 18-35 audience so they’ll get most of their bang-for-buck by appealing to men. And appealing to men with the argument that they should purchase this product so their partners will feel fulfilled doesn’t strike me as the most ‘market-aware’ approach. No, I feel certain that ‘buy this product and it will get you laid more often’ is the right approach.

Heck, works for:

**
Cars
Beer
Clothes
Um
Everything ever advertised during a sporting event…
**

Feh, this is why I listen to NPR.

19

First off, that was the weirdest kinky bird-porn I’ve every read.

Next, continuing the hijack: I hate the commercials that don’t even mention any syptoms, just “Ask you doctor about Flonatrilasescopy[sup]TM[/sup].”

Um, okay…why? You see these billboardsa and pull-out ads in magazines but they don’t have word one about what the drug is supposed to do or be for. :mad:

20

thinksnow, the rule is if they tell you what the drug does, they ALSO have to mention the “uncontrollable bowel movements with oily discharge, headaches, high blood pressure, delusions of grandeur, paranoid assertions about moon landings, eczema, night sweats, bedwetting, acne, hairy palms, dry mouth, insomnia, and strokes” that are potential side effects of the product.

The ones I’ve seen start with the vague ads - I think I spent a year wondering what the heck Allegra was - and then switch to the more specific descriptions.

The scary thing is that I don’t suffer from allergies, impotence, hair loss, or any of these things but I can name the drugs without too much thought. Ah…advertising.