Drivers with severe cases of cranial rectumitis

You narcissistic halfwit. Too fucking busy with your head up your ass to notice that the light turned green. You had to primp in the mirror, then stare into space holding up the traffic for half of the green before my honks brought you back to the real world. That alone earned enough of my wrath that I’d love to see your surgically enhanced blonde body smouldering in hell for all eternity. But wait! There’s more!!

THEN you drive 200 yards, and make a left hand turn from the driving lane, when there was a clearly marked turn lane just for that purpose. You didn’t even notice the 3 car chain reaction accident you caused because you’re too fucking good to use a lane for it’s intended purpose.

Eternity in Hell is too good for you. Anal rat cannons and breech delivery of flaming porcupines is too good.

I hope your mascara turns to acid and your plastic boobs explode. Then I hope you rip out your manicure doing community service in a body shop fixing the damage clueless morons like you cause the other drivers that have to avoid you.

Stupid drivers piss me off too.


I have often said “It’s probably a good thing I don’t carry a bazooka in my car, because I don’t think anything smaller could express the depth of my feelings adequately.”
But teenagers with cellphones are causing me to reconsider my original position.

I prefer to use the term “recto-cranial inversion.”