gonzoron, that was the funniest yet - the mental picture is brilliant!
Universal Solder: A top-secret government project to re-animate dead electricians goes horribly awry.
The Cunt Of Monte Cristo: A poor but honest young sailor, betrayed into captivity, escapes and enacts his revenge on his persecutors by being a total bastard.
From Paul Newman’s films:
Somebody Up There Likes M - a different slant on a James Bond story.
The Sing - Hooker and Gondorff musically con Doyle Lonnegan
The Log, Hot Summer - fun and games at the lumbermill
Absence of Alice
When Tim Ran Out
Sap Shot
What Reams May Come: Robin Williams discovers the pleasures of sodomy.
The Days of the Condo - Robert Redford’s must close the real estate deal before the assasins do.
:smack: MUST PREVIEW
Make that
Three Days of the Condo.
:smack:
Continuing the theme started by gonoron and Cal…
Beauty and the Beat - Belle is imprisoned by the drummer who lives outside her village.
Beauty and the East - alternate title for The King and I.
Got me thinking about the 1931 Fritz Lang/Peter Lorre masterpiece…
Memories of M: The killer’s landlady reminisces: “He was such a quiet fellow.”
8M: Killer creates confusion by hiring doubles to appear in public.
M, Bodyguard: The wrong man for the right job.
Staying with old Fritz for the nonce…
The Big Eat: Glenn Ford enters a Coney Island hot dog contest. (Remake of Peter Lorre’s original, Super Size M.)
Fur: Spencer Tracy, werewolf, is run out of town.
The Testament of Dr. Abuse: Master criminal defeated by blindness and hairy palms.
Ancho Notorious: The harrowing tale of a chili pepper too hot to handle.
Pies: Cloak and dagger adventure gone slapstick.
Word! According to Garp
Monty Python and the Holy Gail
Return of He-Jedi
The Two Owers - Suspenseful tale about the perils of debt
Episode IV - A New Hop - R2 and 3PO learn a new dance
Liens - Sequel to The Two Owers
The Great White Hop - Explores the origin of Cream Ale
A Chorus Lie. Well, did you expect dancers to tell the truth to get the part?
The Triples of Bellville A strange town where, somehow, no-one ever hits a home run. Spooky.
Hairspay. Your coiffure will never have babies again!
The Parent Rap Take it from me–parents just don’t understand.
The Santa Cause It looks like Santa’s position is about to be eliminated, since giving away toys is a high-overhead, low-returns proposition. Not to mention that the taxes at the North Pole are staggering. The decision is made to can Santa and outsource to Malaysia instead. Since almost all of the North Pole’s residents would find themselves out of work if this happened, everyone bands together in an extensive letter-writing and media campaign to save Santa’s job.
War Gams Helen’s face may have launched a thousand ships, but this baby’s got legs. She knows how to use them. She never begs–she knows how to choose them…She also knows how to get them to cause thermonuclear war.
Drugstore owboy Somehow, despite the pharmaceuticals, this guy causes pain wherever he goes.
Waking Tall - The Rock’s remake of the 70s classic exploration of ‘morning wood’.
Sins - Mel Gibson’s disillusioned priest takes a walk on the wild side, aliens included.
Lara Croft: Tomb Rider - Necrophilia is merely where this young lass’ adventures begin.
Freaky Frida - A hot young girl, ready to explore all the ways of love, magically changes bodies with her sexually-repressed mother, Frida. Hilarity ensues.
Bed It Like Beckham - A young girl decides to chuck her virginity as she emulates her favorite sports star’s lifestyle.
Phone Both - A young man, torn between which of 2 women to make a booty call to, finally thinks of the perfect answer.
Cold Mountin - A couple endures the winter weather in order to consumate their undying love.
Garden Sate - A couple makes love among the roses until they can’t move.
Hmmm. It would seem all my choices have a ribald aspect to them. Maybe I should set some time aside to spend with the wife… 
[sub]Little Voice Inside Doug’s Head: OK, now do Frank Capra![/sub]
What, you mean like It’s A Wonderful Lie?
Eet John Doe and Lay for a Day are pretty self-XXXplanatory.
Mr. Sith Goes to Washington: Dark Lord of the Empire infiltrates government with primitive air force, no lightsabers.
[sub]**Little Voice:**OK, screw Capra. Try Howard Hawks.[/sub]
Atari!: A trip to the land of video games that time forgot.
Gentlemen Refer Blondes: Marilyn learns how to get ahead in temp work.
The Big Seep: Marlow invesitigates a mysterious leak in the Sternwood basement.
Only Angels Have Wigs: Jean Arthur’s secret is out.
Ringing Up Baby: Cary Grant tries “belling the cat” telephonically.
Rio Loo: Sheriff fights ranchers for a clean water supply.
Ball of Ire: Babs Stanwyck at “that” time of the month.
Red Line 700: Thrills aplenty in the world’s slowest auto race.
This thread has all the makings of Threadspotting. Just a great idea.
Manos: Hands of Fat - The worst movie ever about sausage fingers.
Citizen Kan - And thanks to this basic Civics film, you kan too!
The Usual Suspect - Pretty sparse lineup.
The Silence of the Labs - Science thriller set in an office with a no-radio policy.
Fight Cub - The first rule of baseball brawls is you do not talk about baseball brawls. The second rule of baseball brawls is you do not talk about baseball brawls.
Bout A Boy - Little League version of Fight Cub
Finding Emo - …then writing a depressingly sensitive song about the experience.
The Wizard of O The story of a girl from Kansas, a lion with no courage, a straw man with no brains, a tin man with no heart, and a melancholy English gentleman with a taste for bondage and dominance.
Followed by the I’m sure inevitable 'Arry Potter and the 'Alf-Blood Prince – Harry and the gang help restore a child raised in East London to his rightful throne.
The Legend of Oggy Creek – MST3K riffs on this low-budget cheese fest where a bunch of rednecks in shorts go looking for heaven in the everglades.
Sellbound – Sure they’re cute, but hold on to your purchase orders when these kids are around!
Orky’s – Teen sex romp on Mork’s home planet.
Tim Bandits (Have we done this one already?)
You could catch a Broncos game on TV or play nine rounds – these are all perfectly good Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dad.
My fellow comics nerds will be excited to see the greatest of the spaceknights make his feature debut – along with some clones – in Four Roms. Followed soon after by a new Winnie the Pooh movie, also with clones – Four Roos.
–Liffy
P.S. Excellent work so far, esp. M. Bodyguard and Fat Alert.
Star Wars Episode VI: The Return of the Jed: a down-to-earth oil man seeks revenge on the greedy banker who took his money
The Wolf Ma: Somoeone’s sweet mom is attacked by a lycanthrope.
Hen Worlds Collide: Giant chickens threaten the Earth.
Lost in Pace: The New York Marathon goes horribly awry.
irestarter–A kid with supernatural powers can make anybody good and pissed off.
ride of Frankenstein–Hey, man. Even a monster’s gotta have wheels, ya know? (see the earlier mention of “Dud, Where’s My Car?” in this thread.)
The Man with Two rains–Well, at least it’s good for the rice paddies.
he Man with Two Brains–Not only is he twice as smart, but he’s got testosterone poisoning, too!
The Man with Two Brans–He’s regular, all right.
Stand by M–007 has to resist the temptation to become a double agent, even after finding a dead body while hanging out with his childhood buddies.
God Will Hunting–A young, lower-class janitor turns out to be the latest incarnation of Vishnu.
Get Cater - In search of the perfect hors d’ourve
Throw Moma off the train - No more librul shock artist pork!
Ear and loathing in Las Vegas - The drug-fueled adventures of Dr Gonzo and Van Gogh
Ore
Whitmen can’t jump - Famous poet tries his hand at the hoops.
Triumph of the Ill - Beastie Boys comeback movie
Ma Deus - God is a woman and man is she pissed!
Battle Beyond the Tars - We want to ban all nicotine not just cigarettes!
My Air Lady - Dilletante upperclassman wins a bet by teaching cockney flowergirl to fly.
My Fair Lad - Dilletante upperclassman shares interests with Michael Jackson.
Some like it Ho - And you betta too, biotch!
Bach Blanket Bingo - Who will the wacky composer flirt with next?
The Transformer - Riveting show about a blackout.
The Ambler - He’ll get to the next house – eventually.
Airpot - And you thought pilots usually spoke mellowly.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martins
Manos: Hands of Fat
Pubic Enemy Number One
Black Like M - Bond has to learn to deal with multi-racial agency.
Lack Like Me - So is it true what they say about people who get a lot of full-body tans?
War and Pace - “This salsa’s made in Paris! Get a rope!”
Das Boo - Riveting undersea horror story
The Ghostbustes - Gothic romance.
A Tun of the Screw - Sex sex and more sex.
The Pianis - Did it ensue?
The Oys from Brazil - Jungle-dwelling Nazis have a change of heart about the whole Jewish thing.
The English Patent - Woman fantasizes about falling in love with man with just the right pair of shoes.
“Honeymoon in Vega” - a couple elopes in an old Chevy
I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gag: Consenting adults is all very well, but BDSM can be taken too far.