I will be putting together a multiple choice poll in a couple of minutes, but just wondering if people still drop by to visit someone - unannounced.
In the “old days”, prior to cell phones, it wasn’t unheard of to be driving around and suddenly decide to stop by and visit someone out of the blue when you happened to be in their neighborhood. And of course, as kids you would just ride your bike over to a friend’s house and yell to see if they were home.
My guess is that few people do this today - and it is probably now considered somewhat rude to do so?
We’ll find out from the poll - but feel free to add what you think about the concept of unannounced visits - “Surprise! Just happened to be in the neighborhood and thought I would stop by!”
My wife, who is from a remote rural area, but who now lives in a very large US city with me, found it very strange that people don’t just drop by on their friends and family.
I, on the other hand, as a lifelong New Yorker, and the product of a couple of generations of lifelong New Yorkers, find the idea of people just dropping by (or of dropping by to visit someone else) a bit weird and invasive.
If you want to just hand with your friends, that’s what the local pub is for.
I don’t like being surprised and I extend that courtesy to others. I always ring beforehand, even visiting my brother up the road. Immediate neighbours are a different matter.
I would in general say that unannounced dropping in is only acceptable with family.
However, on my 25th birthday, I was kind of bummed because all my family was out of town. I went out for a drive, and, more or less out of the blue, dropped in on a woman I was friendly with, although not at that time romantically. We were married four years later, and will celebrate our 27th anniversary later this month.
No-one ever drops round here unannounced. I’d cheerfully let them in if they did, but that wasn’t an option on the poll.
I do go around to my uncle’s house without letting him know, but that’s because he never answers the phone anyway, and I know he likes unexpected visitors. The rest of the family get notification whenever possible.
I didn’t worry about it as a kid- and I don’t think the phone thing is really the difference, it’s just that I’m not hanging around the street aimlessly looking for something to do any more.
I never drop in on anyone unannounced, not even my parents or brother. They could not be home, they could be busy doing something else, they could not want visitors at that time, etc. It’s rude. I think my parents wouldn’t really care and would still be glad to see me, but I still think it’s rude.
My friends and family know not to drop by unannounced. I’m an introvert, enjoy being alone, and need to have a little mental preparation for being around others. Being suddenly barged in on and forced to be in the company of others when I wasn’t prepared for it is upsetting and wears me out.
I live nowhere near any family, so I can’t say whether I’d get in the habit of dropping by unannounced. (I doubt it… the geographic distance is part of what makes it possible for me to get along with them when I do see them).
Back when I was a naive youngster, I used to drop by the home of friends when I happened to be in the neighborhood. Eventually they took me aside and politely explained that it was really inconvenient for them to accommodate me on a moment’s notice like that, and to please stop. I was mortified, and never did it to anyone ever again.
And I get their point. I’d be irritated if I was in the middle of something, and someone popped over and expected me to interrupt what I was doing to entertain them. It’s so easy to just call first and ask, so why not just do that?
I can’t imagine not calling first. If not for their sake, yours. People are so busy nowadays…always out and about. Wouldn’t it just make sense to find out if someone is home before driving to their place?
I really dislike dropping by unannounced (unless it’s just to deliver something that I said I’d bring, but didn’t specify when), but I have some friends that love people to drop in and visit, so I do drop in and see them occasionally.
I don’t drop by on anyone except I did a couple times years ago with an ex whose phone wasn’t working and he insisted he wanted me to.
I don’t answer the door if I’m not expecting anyone, so you can try to drop by all you want, but you won’t be successful. My daughter’s friends who live in the building knock on the door sometimes and that’s fine, she can go out and hang out with them or she can ask if they can come in.
I would drop by my parents unannounced but I had a key so it was no problem if they weren’t home.
When I lived alone nobody except my very closest friends could come by unannounced. They knew I kept no schedule so I could be bathing at 5pm or running around nude. I didn’t care if they saw me or my house a mess. If somebody else came by I’d grab my coat and purse and say, “I’m so sorry, I was just on my way out I wish you had called but I have plans and have to run catch you later”.
It was rather interesting one night when two guys I was seeing both showed up unannounced. Good thing the third one decided to stay home that night instead of coming back to my house with me. Dealing with two was bad enough.
Me too. The poll put a restriction on the question, so I couldn’t answer it properly.
But other than the rare door-to-door proselytizer, it doesn’t happen here. I’m fine with that. If I’m not doing anything else, I’ll chat with the proselytizer. (It rarely ends well.)
It has *always *been considered rude to do so. That’s why so many people write to advice columnists asking how to get people to stop doing it, without having to resort to rudeness themselves. Maybe in small communities in some places it was accepted, but generally, no. And nowadays, with cell phones and constant communication, there is just no excuse, in my humble opinion.
I hate people doing it to me. I never answer the door if not expecting someone. I’ll occasionally do it with my family especially if my brother is home from school. I once drove by a friends house, and stopped, but I would have kept going if he wasn’t already outside.
I might feel differently if I was generally always showered and dressed with a clean room. But only slightly.
We’ve never had anyone just pop by, but I wouldn’t deny them entrance to the house. I wouldn’t necessarily be happy about it, but I wouldn’t strand anyone on the porch.
I’d never drop in on someone without calling ahead. Even my mother. In fact, she’s made it quite clear that she wants a call before a visit. Heck, she’s got so many things going on, I have to call to be sure she’s home.
I feel put out that I can’t drop in unannounced to my brother’s house without upsetting his wife, as in my life family has never had to announce they were coming. It makes me feel like we’re considered less than family. He tells me her family are subject to the same rule, so I try not to take it personally.