Says the guy who lives in a completely different country than everyone on the board. Could perhaps your experiences not be universal?
I know for sure it was common to do with sick people. Heck, it still is, in the hospital during visiting hours.
The kids do this all the time in my neighborhood, and I encourage it. My kids run over to friends’ houses just to see if they are home, and the neighborhood kids come over here to see who is home. I like the feeling of spontaneous visiting way more than parent-arranged ‘play dates.’
I’m talking specifically about neighbors walking into a house without even knocking. The other post are talking about friends and relatives who at least knock and wait to be let in.
I remember a woman I used to work with telling me that one weekend her mother had arrived unannounced and knocked on the door. Jane opened it and on seeing her mother said, “You wouldn’t just turn up like this to your friends. Don’t do it to me,” and slammed the door. I assumed she had subsequently relented but no, she just waited until her mother left.
Same here. It’s one of the things I love about my neighborhood.
I live far from family, so there’s very few people I would drop in on. I do remember family stopping by quite a bit when I was growing up. My mom’s sisters still stop by her house, but they all live close together, talk almost daily and know one another’s schedules.
My neighbors and I occasionally stop by each other’s houses for a moment to borrow something, but even with someone across the street, we are more likely to text first.
There isn’t a poll option which really fits my sentiments on this issue. First of all – I feel that it’s a thing which varies between different families and groups of mutual associates, including within the same country. I’d consider that for groups for whom doing things this way “works” – both for the droppers-by and the “droppees” – it’s fine, and censuring it as rude or wrong in an absolute sense, is uncalled-for.
In my country, the UK – in my experience anyway, in my kind of background, dropping by unannounced is on the whole not in favour, and not thought well of: the reasoning behind which, gallows fodder expresses very succinctly, above. For myself, that’s how I feel on the matter, and how I treat people and would prefer to be treated. My impression is that this overall “take” applied in pre-mobile phone days, as well; for decades past, the large majority of UK households have had a land-line phone.
You could be right. I’m from the Southern United States. If dropping in unexpectedly is your thing, great, if it’s fine with your peeps. But if you do that to people outside of your biddable circle of friends, please know that you will undoubtedly be thought of as rude. Yes, there are exceptions, as people have mentioned, in close-knit communities with small children, but among the general population? Please don’t do it. Would you drop in at your boss’s house without calling first? No, because it would be rude. And if you wouldn’t be rude to your boss, why would you be rude to everyone else?
And NOBODY visits anybody without calling first if they’re sick! Good God, man, are you a sadist? Who wants to entertain guests when they’re sick? Drop off some chicken soup, sure - but call first - don’t drag a sick person out of bed because right now is convenient for you! That’s just wrong, whether in the hospital or not.
I don’t have any problem with family or friends just dropping in. I tend to follow the specific person’s rule for dropping in myself, though. If they drop in on me then I will feel fine dropping in on them, the same if they always call before coming over. This concept of refusing to answer the door unless the person called you beforehand is what seems extraordinarily rude to me.
I really enjoyed it at my apartment building in college. Nobody ever locked their doors and neighbors were always welcome to come and go unannounced whether anybody was home or not. If you came at supper time you’d be offered a plate a beer, if the occupants were watching TV or playing cards, you we welcome to grab a seat. It was almost like living in one humungous house with a dozen roommates; our bedrooms were our private areas and everything else was open to anyone in the building. It was nice to be a part of a community that was so close and so trusting and I feel a sense of loss to this day that it is over and I am not likely to ever experience the same again.
(None of the poll options really fit with my thoughts on the matter, so I didn’t vote)
With neighborhood kids it’s different. They’re over unannounced to see if Junior can come out and play (hang out now, they’re teenagers). They don’t often come in, or if they do it’s just to loiter in the kitchen while my kid gets ready to leave. They don’t expect refreshments. If they look thirsty I give them some water while they stand in the kitchen.
I don’t think my rural ancestors had calling hours. My sister’s done some genealogical research and found out that a lot of my great-grandfather’s 10 brothers and sisters married people from all of the adjacent farms so at least at that time pretty much everyone in the neighborhood was some variety of relative or in-law. I imagine there was quite a lot of just popping 'round.
The poll results surprised me a lot.
Dropping in at family homes is no big deal here. Sometimes I’ll see something on special at the grocery. Pick up extra for family members and drop off at their place. Maybe talk awhile and watch tv. If they are busy then I drop off the stuff and leave. No big deal. It’s family. They are over at my house a lot too.
I call ahead an hour or so with Friends.
My family still does it from time to time. They are all in their 60’s now. None of my friends ever do this. They are mostly in their 20’s.
Cell phones make all the difference.
Thirty years ago it was a major PITA to hunt down a pay phone. It was quicker to drop by someones house. Sometimes no one was home and you just kept driving. People weren’t shy about letting you know if they were busy. “I got a doctors appointment in an hour.” So you’d say hi and leave. That was life without cell phones.
I think it’s rude to visit someone unannounced unless the person has told you they don’t mind.
I don’t want someone interrupting me at home when I’m all scuzzy/sweaty from doing dirty housework, when I haven’t showered/cleaned up for the day yet, or when I am in the middle of hanky panky with my new husband. 
When I was living in Albuquerque, you had no choice but to drop in on me unannounced. This was pre-Internet and -cellphone days, and I didn’t have a telephone at all.
When I wanted to see someone who lived in my building I’d just go and knock. I think now all of my friends have cell phone plans with unlimited (or enough) texting and minutes, so, if I was living in a multi-unit building right now I’d probably text first.
One of my friends out of state is regularly irresponsible with his cell phone, so there’s been times where I called a few days ahead and said “hey I’m going to be in town on this day can you host,” he said yeah, and then I had to just show up at his front door because his cell phone was dead.
Everyone else I’d text, call, or make a date ahead of time.
One of my friends did the pop-in a few times in a row (over a matter of months) and it wasn’t rude to me at the time but it made me wonder how many times he goes and knocks on people’s doors and nobody is home.
I grew up in the 1950s in a small midwestern town but never got the impression that most folks had an open door policy. Most of the neighborhood kids would just go outside and hang out with whoever else was out there. If we knocked on doors unannounced, it was only to ask if so-and-so could come out to play.
My father’s brothers and sisters mostly lived a good distance away so visiting was by pre-arrangement. My mother’s brother lived about an hour’s drive away, but I believe we always called before going to visit. On the other hand, he would drive his family to our house without calling ahead and it drove my mother nuts.
These days, I don’t have any family living nearby but even if I did, I’d expect phone calls in advance. I can’t imagine dropping in on anyone unannounced and I would never encourage others to drop in. We have one acquaintance who drops in occasionally, but it’s not often so I grit my teeth, put aside whatever I had been doing, and try to make nice.
I was a resident advisor in college and worked in residence halls as a professional for many years. So I got used to people just showing up, usually in some form of distress. Now that part of my life is over, thank God, I really see my house as a refuge. I don’t want anybody just rolling up when the spirit moves them. Conversely, I’d be mortified to roll up to someone’s house in the middle of a domestic argument, a kinky sex session, or when they are shaving their back hair.
With close friends or family, I don’t mind a 30 minute “hey, we’re in the neighborhood, can we drop by?” Usually this is enough time to clean up a little. We’re not great entertainers, either, and we rarely have soda, crackers, or cookies sitting around for guests if we don’t know if you’re coming. Likewise, if an errand finds me in a neighborhood close to a friend (that I don’t see often, or live distant to) - I will give a buzz and let them know I’m nearby, and make it very easy for them to say, “cool, I’m busy, let’s connect another time.” But even then that’s rare. I usually want to get home after whatever it is I’m doing.
If you knock on my door and I don’t know you, I will likely not answer. If it’s an emergency, I’m sure you’ll be screaming “HELP!” and I can call 911 for you. Short of that, you are probably trying to sell me something, and if you are, please FOAD. Learn to read; I’ve got a huge “no soliciting” sign at my door.
Absolutely nobody better drop by me unannounced. They will not be let in unless it’s a dire emergency. I didn’t even call my best friend when I was in a bus accident two blocks from her house.