Drunken ass next to me + small plane = Me wanting to cause pain

The BBQ Pit
1

I’ve been traveling for work recently. Today, I had the lovely experience of a trip from Lubbock Texas to New Orleans. Now, the trip from Lubbock to Dallas was fine. Plane was small, just a regional jet, but it was pretty empty. Dallas to New Orleans was the same type of plane, completely full. And I drew the worst person to sit next to possible.

First, after we board, he pulls out his container full of chicken wings and starts going to town. Even after being told to put up his tray table. Even after being told again that if he doesn’t put up the table, we can’t take off. Does this stop him from eating? No. He decides he needs to eat faster and messier.

Then, we take off. He begins trying to “entertain” everyone in our section. Now, I’m a reader on a plane. Helps me get through things faster. If someone is friendly or whatever, I’m pretty polite, but obviously reading. Not gonna stop this guy. Nope, he needs to tell me all about all the wonderful places he’s lived.

Then he starts getting drinks from the flight attendant. Lots of vodka. He gets louder. And louder. Thinks he’s being funny. Telling me about a book I should read that’ll change my life by some sales guy(the drunk guy is mid-30’s, obviously in sales). He berates a group of nurses on the plane about hospital costs. He rips into a psychiatrist, calling her a witch doctor, and tells her if someone needs to talk to someone, they should talk to Jesus. He complains about all the Mexicans in Texas. I’m doing my best to ignore him, but there are only two seats per side of the plane, and he’s right there.

Then, he starts telling me black and Mexican jokes. Me, the guy ignoring him. Me, the person that is really bothered by this sort of thing. When I tell him to please stop talking to me, he gets pissy, and begins to jump on me for reading and not being friendly. This continues the whole flight…the loud behavior, drinking Vodka, annoying everyone around us. He begins hitting on the flight attendant. I’m ready to kill at this point. One more joke, and I snapped, saying “Quit fucking talking to me please.” Doesn’t stop him.

Look, I like to have a drink from time to time, but why do you think it’s ok to act this way? Why would you think it’s ok to tell someone you don’t know racist jokes? More to the point, why can’t you just SHUT THE FUCK UP and leave other people alone? Guh.

2

Jeez, these days, isn’t there something you could have quietly suggested to someone that would result in him being gagged and sat on by an air marshall for the duration of the flight?

3

Minus the Mexican jokes, it sounds just like having to fly with my boss.

4

He kept drinking? Meaning the airline staff kept serving him? A plainly drunken guy who is bothering everyone around him? Wonder why they didn’t just say, sorry sir, no more for you?

5

It could have been worse. You have been flying from Dallas to Durban with this dolt.

6

That’s what I was left wondering. Why the hell would they continue to give this man MORE alcohol?!

7

Why didn’t you slap the piss out of him?

8

Because diku lacked the balls to tell the flight attendant that the asshole was being an asshole. Sorry, I had to call it like I heard it. The flight attendant definately failed the job but once a person complains to them they have to take action.

diku it looks like you finally told the guy to shut the fuck up. At that point you should have hit the call button and told the FA that the man was abusive. If nothing else you could get the guy some face time with airport security or the local law when the plane touched down.

Now asshole boy thinks he can put on his act any time he’s on a plane. Knowing my luck he’s going to plop down next to me some time and I’m going to have to babbysit his sorry ass on some 3 hour flight. Of course, if he has decent chicken wings we may become friends.

9

Perhaps they thought it would be easier to deal with him even drunker than angry and drunk when cut off? Not that it is the right decision, but it’s a possible thought process. Some people get dangerously irate when they are cut off, and they thought they could keep him lubricated for a short flight.

Me, I have no patience for talkers on flights. I read and I sleep. I will not engage you in a conversation (well, maybe if you are an attractive lady, but I haven’t been in a position to test that in well over a decade). And if a straightforward but polite request to leave me alone doesn’t work, I will quickly turn to straightforward and rude. Of course, with the wings thing, I probably would have gone straight to rude.

And while I like Liberal’s idea, and some people really need it done to them, I’d rather not be the one being dragged off the plane in handcuffs. Of course, if I could get him to threaten me, we have Presidential precedence for a pre-emptive war, whether or not needed.

10

If you’re on a largely empty flight and sitting next to a person causing a problem, just ask the flight attendant if you can move.

If you’re refused (unlikely), you can describe the interesting story you will tell airline management about staff catering to drunks.

11

'cause the piss would have gotten on him? I mean, it was a small plane and all…

seriously - shoulda said something to the flight attendant. they shouldn’t have kept plying him w/booze, but unless you voice an objection, how are they supposed to know that you were annoyed?

12

The first flight was largely empty, while this one was completly full, according to the OP.

13

One thing is for sure. The OP is a far nicer person then I am.

14

Misread that, sorry.

15

Yes, the second flight was completely full. No where to move to, otherwise I would’ve.

As for my lack of balls, him not getting anymore alcohol wasn’t going to stop anything. He was already drunk, drunk when he got on board. Exactly what were they going to do with him, after I complained? No place in the plane to move him to. I saw him buy two bottles of vodka from the flight attendant. I saw him drink four bottles worth, and we only got beverage service once. As near as I can tell, he brought some aboard with him. Should’ve mentioned that.

16

“Excuse me, could I have a parachute?”

17

This is why God invented MP3 players. Drunken louts, screaming kids, chatty Christian witnesses, all gone in the touch of a button. I’ll never fly without one again.

18

Look, it is clear to me that you only have a problem with people you perceive to overeat (and fast food at that :eek:) . They are people too and fuck you and the high horse that you rode in on. You have no right to judge people in that way.

19

  1. It is impossible to “overeat” chicken wings, as they have practically no meat on them.

  2. If he had been riding a high horse, I suspect the OP wouldn’t have minded, but he was riding a plane, and chicken wings ain’t zackly plane food, especially when you’re supposed to put your tray table up and buckle up for takeoff.

  3. I’ve never done this before, but… Hi, Opal! (Is she even still around?)

20

Ok, first, fuck you. If you knew me, or saw the condition I’m in right now, you’d know this isn’t true. So fuck you and your giant jump to conclusions.

Eating a big thing of chicken wings in fine. I enjoy them myself. Eating them on a small plane, messily, while being repeatedly asked to put up your tray table cause we’re trying to take off was my problem.

Second, fuck you again. I have no right to judge people that way? Hmm, you seem pretty quick to do it.