Who here is an alcoholic, a Friend of Bill, drug addict (practicing or former), or diagnosed with some mental illness? I’m adding mental illness because it often goes hand in hand with being an addict.
I am bipolar and a recovering (mostly) alcoholic. I often post here at ungodly early morning hours because I don’t sleep much. I’m on Lithium, Zoloft and Celexa. Oh, and Ativan, but barely ever take it because sleeping pills make me feel unpleasant.
If nobody responds I’m going to feel like a fool! I can’t be the only crazy drunk on these boards!
I will confess to a continuing and substantial relationship with many of the great breweries, distilleries and fermenteries of the world. I have always avoided placing myself in any standard category. The medicos give all my equipment a clean bill of health, which does rather surprise me. My intake on an annual basis is well above the, well above the norm statistics. Folks have chosen to try and label my proclivities. Drinking and driving the information superhighway whether for business purposes or pleasure is not a crime…yet. My sleep habits seem to be based on age. Twenty years ago I wouldn’t have believed the body and soul could survive on so little rest.
You are definitely not the only crazy drunk here, or elsewhere.
Well I’ve got some mental illness. Periods of psychosis and all that and some others, that part was covered a while back in a thread I did in MPSIMS. . Who here is wacked. The other stuff wasn’t really talked about. Have I self medicated with drugs to cope? Yes. Am I addicted? No.
Well, perhaps we can feel like fools together. It’s possible people just don’t want this sort of thing raked up.
I’m an alcoholic. I’ve landed in the hospital twice. Cirrhosis, you know. I’ve been told many times by doctors that I shouldn’t be alive.
I haven’t had ANY alcoholic drink for ten months, which might let you know just how goddamned THIRSTY I am right now, at this very second.
In my cupboard I have a 1.75 litre bottle of Kessler’s shitty blended whiskey, and a half a case of beer to chase it with. (The seal isn’t broken on the Kessler.)
Maybe I shouldn’t have it, but it makes me feel safer knowing it’s there.
I CAN’T promise to never drink again. I can only promise to try.
Well, that’s two of us.
Rick
Well, all I know is that I like to drink, and when I do overindulge I tend to get a bit self destructive (I have a tendency to cut). I really wouldn’t consider myself an alcoholic and I really don’t know if anything is wrong inside my noggin. I think something may be out of whack, but I’m not a psychologist, so I really do not want to self diagnose, and I can’t afford to see a head shrinker, so it’ll be a while before I know anything. Until then, life will go on.
*(The above post is usually more info than I’m willing to post, but I’m coming down from being drunk tonight, so I’ll let it slide. It feels good to get it off of my chest, even if it is to 10,000+ random strangers :). And, FTR, this is not a pity post, so if you will please respect that, I will thank you in advance.)
I suffer from always being right. (well 99.9% of the time) Add a few beers or a little smoke (or both as more frequently the case) and I can bring it up to 100%! Just ask me, I’ll tell ya.
I do do(<oops! don’t step in that!) some of my best writing after a hit or two! I just wish I could type as fast as I can think. Then we’d all be in trouble!
Recovered alcoholic here–and to explain my preference for “recovered” rather than “recovering”:
So I’m recovered though certainly not cured. Been sober since June 11, 1990.
I also suffer from various forms of depression–dysthymia (chronic low-grade depression), seasonal depression, and occasional bouts of major depression. And insomnia most nights too. I’m not on any antidepressant meds at the moment though I have tried a number of them. My depression is pretty hard to treat because it’s so complex. Despite all that I’ve still got a pretty cheery outlook on life.
I gave up alcohol nine years ago. The physical craving was over in a couple weeks: I’m still learning how to fill time that was once spent planning to drink, drinking, and thinking about drinking. I drank my way through college, and never got a DUI. I feel vicariously embarrassed for middle-aged pompous maintenance alcoholics who stay in denial about the reality of the drinking and driving laws.
If the internet was available when I was drinking I might very well have a cirrhoded corroded liver by now
Recurrent major episodic depression here. Currently doing well on meds (although grappling with the possibility of having to take them for life). Like many others on this board, had a tendency to abuse alcohol prior to finding effective treatment. Currently avoiding alcohol (to be honest, the desire to drink it isn’t there since I started the meds anyway) mainly because I feel so much better on the meds that I’m unwilling to risk fucking up the improvement.
Still have occasional episodes of mild insomnia (of which last night was one).
Oh yeah - and I’ve yet to find a message board about depression which isn’t well, um, depressing : anyone know of any good ones?
After years of thinking I had some sort of depression, I was finally correctly diagnosed last August with General Anxiety Disorder. I was on Zoloft (the wonder drug that works wonders, IMO) for a few months, and in therapy. I am now medication-free, and had my last session with the shrink right after Christmas. I’m actually really proud of how I’ve been handling myself, but there have been moments when I wonder if I shouldn’t go back on the drug.
I’ve made strenuous efforts to become a human wreck but it just get bored with it, I can’t keep up the interest long enough to become a real drunk.
Drugs - yawn, the world is just too busy, no time for it far too many distractions.
Maybe one day when things slow down a little I’ll have the time to dedicate myself to proper abuse.
Looks like I have a short attention… oh why the hell bother, lemme see, ah that napster file just downloaded…now where did I put those CD-R’s ?
at one point or another in my life I have done almost everything, my drunk phase was the longest and most cherished, but I’ve popped pills, smoked weed, blasted coke, shot herion, mushrooms, peyote, just about everything, I chalk it up to life experience and now limit myself to a drink once and awhile.
Glad to see “Friend of Bill” in the OP did indeed refer to Bill W. and not, as I feared, Bill Clinton. There are many people on this board who would admit to anything except being a friend of him
I’m recovering from long-term depression myself, I was hospitalized last year. My recovery is getting as good as it’s going to get right now, but it has not been fast enough to save my marriage; my wife still considers me to be mentally ill and continues to do so in the face of all medical opinion to the contrary If someone is determined enough to see you that way, it’s almost impossible to change their mind. I’m just glad it’s not me that is convinced that I’m mentally ill–I never would have recovered that way.
I’ve never been alcoholic, but two members of AA led me on the road to recovery. Bill W.'s plan, in a somewhat modified form, changed my life.
I think I am manic-depressive, but that maybe one too many psych classes (my major) taking hold. I have beautiful moments of sheer bliss where I’m really creative and active. Then an hour later I can be crying because I feel like I have no control over my life.
I know I have body-image issues. I stand in front of the mirror checking my belly at least an hour out of each day. I also study my face too much. The longer I can go being hungry, the better a day I have. I feel like I succeeded because I beat the hunger and ate so little. I’ve lost a few pounds recently, but I’ve never been anywhere near overweight.
I can’t sleep. My mind won’t stop racing. And when I do sleep, I know it’s bad sleep. I wake up feeling like I just worked out. I have nightmares about ex-boyfriends being the devil. Seriously. I’ve just been prescribed Amitryptaline, and I hate it. Which is why…
I smoke pot by myself and with friends. I really love to smoke a bowl, sit on my balcony, with the headphones, watching the clouds roll by. Doing yoga while high is wonderful. Pot is my meditation, my day dream, my spiritual experience. I don’t feel guilty for doing it at all. My life has actually improved since I started smoking every other day. It hasn’t affected me badly in any way… yet.
Hey Qadgop, did you have the same reaction I did to hitting 10 years – the first meeting after my anniversary, they asked if anyone was celebrating and I said I had just celebrated 10 years and as the words were coming out of my mouth I was thinking (Did I just say that? ME? Sober for 10 YEARS? Impossible!) how surreal it was.
If someone is determined enough to see you that way, it’s almost impossible to change their mind. I’m just glad it’s not me that is convinced that I’m mentally ill–I never would have recovered that way.