I know that this post is daunting because of it’s size; but, please read it.
Let me give you a little background. I am 35 years old and for the last 2 1/2 years I have been caring a senior adult friend, who is 92, full time. I have known and loved Mrs. D now for about 5 years. She lived in her own home until December 98. At that point we (her power of attorney and I) had her moved into a local assisted living…she was there for 2 years. Her money was depleting quickly while she was there. In Dec. 2000, I showed her power of attorney that I could care for her for a lot less than what (she) had been paying for the past 2 years. And I was confident and still am that I can and have provided better care for her than what she had been receiving in the Assisted Living. So, for the last 2 1/2 years we have been living off of her savings. Well, we (her power of attorney and I) knew the time was going to come when we would need to get her on medicaid so that she could go to day care and that I would need to find a full time job. Well, a couple of months ago it was realized that we had about 3 months the way we were…well, I immediately started looking at our options for what to do when Mrs. D’s money ran out…and was trying to find programs that would help us here where we live.
Here's my story...
On May 13 at about 9:00 am, my doorbell rang. Mrs. J from the County DSS- Adult Protective Services was at my door. Pretty much demanding to come in. I discovered at that point that a complaint had been filed and that they were investigating an allegation that had come in.
I was told the allegation was that the caller had heard Mrs. D screaming.
I was in complete shock and all I could think at the time was that my tv had been turned up to loud and my windows had been opened.
She came in and had me answer certain questions so she could file her report. Mrs. D was still asleep I went in to wake her because I wanted them to look her over and see that she is not ABUSED.
I pulled the covers back and tried to wake her while Mrs. J stood near the foot of the bed…Mrs. J told me not to wake her. So I left her in the bed.
**Mrs. J was having an allergic reaction to my cat so she was trying to get out of there.
My first impressions of her was that she was very hateful to me, but part of that could have been my emotions…she seemed more compassionate toward me at the end.
But, the next day Mrs. H came out and said that she would be handling the case. I tried to fill in any gaps for her that I had left out the day before due to my “emotional condition”.
I had had a trip planned to go to Chicago (May 22-25) to visit a girlfriend for her daughter’s Christening (I’m now a Godmother), so I was busy getting ready for it and in trying to stay in contact with DSS. I called them almost every weekday, but I don’t have the times documented.
I had been having problems getting her in to see a Dr. so that I could place her at a Dementia / Alzheimer geared Assisted Living for that weekend, so I had called Mrs. H and wondered if she had made a contact she was going to make w/ an Adult Day Care (she had not and I learned at that point that PSC would not work that quickly) , but this all happened on Monday when I was still trying to get her an appt. I eventually found a Dr. that took Medicare and would see her on Tuesday. Mrs. D had a physical on May 20. The Doctor was pleased with her health. Her blood pressure was great…her skin was great…
So, on Wednesday, May 21st I took Mrs. D to the planned Assisted Living. During the “intake” process, she was checked once again ALL OVER and a few minor bruises were notated…but, nothing that wouldn’t be expected on a 92 year old woman.
On Thursday, I flew to Chicago and several times called to check on her. I had found out that DSS had called them to make sure she was there and to see how she appeared.
When I got home on Sunday, I went and picked her up…she had several new bruises which for my protection I made them document.
On Tuesday, May 26th the day after Memorial Day I called DSS to let them know that I was back and that I had Mrs. D with me since Sunday night…if they needed us we were home. She informed me that a meeting was being held at 3:30 that day and if I wanted to come I could.
I then placed a call to Mrs. D’s Power of Attorney to let him know that I had been invited to the meeting that he was scheduled to attend, and discovered that DSS had told him that they had considered going and getting her from where she was staying and placing her somewhere else because additional allegations had been called in. He told me he preferred I just let him go to the meeting…
I called DSS and talked to Mrs. H and told her that I was not going to come that I was going to respect his wishes to talk to them alone…I then asked her about the additional allegations…she told me that that was why I should be at the meeting.
I called him back and told him that I would sit in the lobby until he finished talking with them but that I would be there. My friend Sue went with me and Mrs. D.
From what I understand of what they told me while I was at the meeting that day was that they received a call after hours on May 20th that claimed I had Wild Parties ( I think the comment was I had wild DRUNKEN parties) here on Friday Nights, that I mishandled her when I got her in and out of the car and that I left her alone.
At the meeting …a lot was said but the primary focus I felt was that they had seen no signs of abuse but that they had to investigate…that they wanted to have her POA complete paperwork to get her on Medicaid…They were going to make calls and referrals to help go ahead and get her in DAYCARE, even if we (Mrs. D) had to private pay!!
At this point they had STILL NOT CALLED any of my character references.
You need to understand that I gave Mrs. J AND Mrs. H telephone numbers for my Pastor and for my friend Sue as character witnesses…(Sue is a nurse and is usually in my home 2-3 times a week) I gave them the numbers on May 13 and 14. I then gave Mrs. H additional numbers for some of my neighbors.
On Tuesday, June 3rd, the POA called me early that morning and asked about an insurance card he thought I had of Mrs. D’s he needed it for the paperwork. Well, at around 3:45 to 4:00, he calls and tells me that they are placing her. I was like WHAT?
There had been a NEW allegation made that day!!
I called Mrs. H in tears and found out that the person had called back and talked with her supervisor and reported that I had left Mrs. D alone 5-6 times that weekend and that I had left her alone for an hour and a half that morning!
I told them yet once again…“That is a LIE”!!
I asked her if she had called my references and at that point she had not!! With in an hour and a half before she got to my house she called Sue, My Pastor, and my next door neighbor Nita. But, this was after they had made the decision to remove her from my home. Why did it take them from the 13th to the 3rd before they called my references??
Mrs. D was removed by her power of attorney at the recomendation of DSS. If he had not done it voluntarily they would have forced it!
They moved her to The Haven.
Oh I cried and paced and had my friend Sue come over…They were meeting here at 5:30 to pick her up and I was to have her things packed.
I called a lawyer who I hope will see me even though I have NO money!!
He hasn’t been available yet…
You can only imagine the emotional wreck that I was…still am…but, I’m having to pull together to figure out how to get her back.
On, Wednesday, June 4th I called and my question to DSS was (I spoke with Judy I)…1) Are you filing criminal charges against me? The answer was NO
2) If I bring PROOF that the allegations were lies would they look at it? The answer was NO. I explained to her that I had PROOF that they were lies!!
I called June 5th, and I talked to Mrs. H. I asked…
- Now that she is in what you all consider a SAFE place will you investigate the allegations?
I was told NO there was no need to because next week ( I think she said Tuesday) that Long Term Care (Medicaid Waiver) was going to access her for placement in a Nursing Home. They had found one in town to move her to!!
I don’t understand how they can remove her from our home without investigating the allegations or without checking into my character…even more so how once they have her “safe” that they WILL NOT INVESTIGATE to see if the allegations are true.
What would you do?? Do you have any suggestions that would help me get her back? Any suggestions as to how I can get DSS to investigate me?