Dude blows up his urethra (it's as bad as it sounds)

[Muffin]

*Originally posted by Eats_Crayons *
**Spider – the impression I get from the story is that he did not, erm, “insert” the firecracker. Rather he was using his butt cheaks to hold it. I picture “Haw, haw, haw! Look, no hands!” while wagging his butt.

Then he fell and sat on it. Whether falling on it meant “unplanned-dildo effect”, or simply “straddling an explosive” is unclear. In any case, the force of the blast went upwards (in a similar way as a grenade that you belly-flop onto to save your fox-hole buddies.)

In any case, he is remarkably stupid…

Says I, the one who nearly deafened myself sticking pencils in my ears and under my top lip to go “Rarh! Rarh! I’m a demon, raaaahrrrr!” – and with a current long thread in MPSIMS titled I Stuck My Wedding Ring Up My Nose*, I think humanity has reached its evolutionary plateau – we’re doomed. **

As long as there are people willing to fall on their firecrackers so as to save their fox-hole buddies, then the human race is not doomed.

[Eats_Crayons]

<snort!>

“fox-hole”

[lieu]

Apparently Ladyfingers up the ass really can lead to harder stuff.

[The_Mermaid]

Perhaps he suffers from IBS, Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Who among us hasn’t said on occasion “If I don’t don’t have a bowel movement soon, I’m going to explode”.

You gotta give this guy credit for taking the initiative.

[Casey1505]

*Originally posted by The Mermaid *
**Perhaps he suffers from IBS, Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Who among us hasn’t said on occasion “If I don’t don’t have a bowel movement soon, I’m going to explode”.

You gotta give this guy credit for taking the initiative. **

His bowel is surely irritated, now, I’ll wager!

[lieu]

Poor sap: “Doc, did I seriously harm my bunghole?”

Doc: “Rectum.”

Poor sap: “Oh, I see.”

[The_Mermaid]

Rectum? It damn near killed him.

Come on, someone has to say it.

[beergeek279]

I printed out the SMH article, and showed it to several of my friends. Maybe it was the fact that I was at a college, or even the fact that the people I showed the article to were all Math Ed. or Computer Science students (and one professor, who has a sign “You can’t fix stupid”…well, this article showed you sure can neuter stupid! ;)), but I think most reasonable people understand that firecrackers anywhere around your ass are going to hurt; even if he had been ass up and the force of the explosion had space to diffuse, then it still would probably have burned a bit! (When I did student teaching day in chem in high school, we had a wonderful little setup called the Methane Mambo. Basically, a device that hooked to the gas line, with bubble mix in it, that created a wonderful little column of bubbles that would explode nicely. It took a little bit of guts the first time, but if you had your hand underneath (which I cannot stress enough!!), the flare-up would go upwards and amaze people, whilst not being very dangerous! That’s where the principle was the same, and while it may have seemed dangerous, I was most careful and made sure there was nothing to light underneath!)

Since the criteria for the Darwin Awards is “to advance evolution by removing oneself from the gene pool”, which usually means dying but obviously not in this case, I nominate this guy for the first non-posthumous Darwin Award!!!