Well, yes, it says they called in a colo-rectal surgeon…
All I could think was “What the HELL was he SMOKING???!!”
“It was a million-to-one chance, doc! A million-to-one!!”
“Assman!”
Yeah, but what about the massive extra workload on the poor Darwin Awards folk?
See, that’s why I stick to just sticking sparklers up my ass.
This just SCREAMS “Darwin Award” winner.
No more sex?! You got to feel sorry for the guy.
Samurai swords first…
So how long til the fine civic leaders of Victoria ban firecrackers???
I tell ya, a few idiots ruin the fun for everyone.
No you don’t. He can’t have sex because he…stuck…a…firecracker…up…his…ass!
If you want to feel sorry for someone not having sex, aim your pity gun my way!
Yeah but it was a hell of a price to pay!
LOL
Charles Darwin is laughing somewhere right now.
Do you think booze was invovled in any way? 
I hope so! Doing it while drunk would be dumb enough, but while SOBER?!
in the ass?
“He comes from the land Down Under
Where women blow and men thunder…”
Can we say “asinine”?
Obligatory Onion link: Fun toy banned because of three stupid dead kids
Get yer head outta yer ass!
I do not want to know why he put a firecracker where he did. I do not want to know why he put a firecracker where he did! I do not want to know why he put a firecracker where he did!! I do not want to know why he put a firecracker where he did!!! GAH!!!
Spider – the impression I get from the story is that he did not, erm, “insert” the firecracker. Rather he was using his butt cheaks to hold it. I picture “Haw, haw, haw! Look, no hands!” while wagging his butt.
Then he fell and sat on it. Whether falling on it meant “unplanned-dildo effect”, or simply “straddling an explosive” is unclear. In any case, the force of the blast went upwards (in a similar way as a grenade that you belly-flop onto to save your fox-hole buddies.)
In any case, he is remarkably stupid…
Says I, the one who nearly deafened myself sticking pencils in my ears and under my top lip to go “Rarh! Rarh! I’m a demon, raaaahrrrr!” – and with a current long thread in MPSIMS titled I Stuck My Wedding Ring Up My Nose*, I think humanity has reached its evolutionary plateau – we’re doomed.
Band name!
Ah, I wondered about that! I keep hearing that they were “blowing” firecrackers out of their asses, and I couldn’t figure out how on earth they did that! Well-timed farts or what? Bottle rockets make much more sense.
My Uncle Harold used to impress us kids by launching them from his teeth.