Dude, Keep your cotton-candy stink outta my Shit

The BBQ Pit
1

Dude, Cotton-Candy is not a scent which becomes you.

We’ve just had a spate of new-hires at one of the other departments at work…maybe 25 people… and a diverse lot it is. We’ve got one guy who’s apparently trying for the lead in Man of La Mancha (tall, 50ish guy, white hair, huge waxed mustashios, and a tiny, teeny little goatee)…which is fine, an Elvis Costello/Buddy Holly wannabe (but with more peircings), one woman who’s got a bull-ring through her nose that connects by a chain to a ring in her ear, etc.

And that’s cool. It’s a call-center, so stuff like this doesn’t matter much, and ‘Don Quixote’ (whose name I don’t know yet) seems pretty cool (I was trying to carry a stack of boxes and he asked if he could help and grabbed a few).

But…

One of these newbies (who I haven’t narrowed down yet: It’s not Don Quixote, and it’s not Buddy Holly…it better not be Piercings-Woman, for reasons that’ll become apparent soon) believes that aftershave should be doused on after every trip to the bathroom, 'cause ever time I’ve had to go to the toilet in the last week or so, I’ve had to breath through my shirt rather than breathe this stench.

And whatever-the-fuck kind of stinkum he’s wearing smells exactly like slightly burnt cotton-candy. Only stronger. Much MUCH stronger.

And it lingers longer.

Every time I breathe it, it makes me feel like my lungs are getting sticky.

Dude, do you know how much I don’t wanna smell a overpowering, nauseatingly-sweet smell when I’m taking a shit? Seriously: shit smells bad, but shit+cotton-candy perfume is worse.

A) I don’t like aftershaves or perfume
but
B) If you gotta wear it, go light
and
C) Generally, perfume that smells like candy comes in plastic bottles shaped like jewels or ponies and is for 12 year old girls, not grown-up men.

And really. Chicks (or guys) don’t dig guys who smell like cotton-candy [sub]or if they do, it’s despite, NOT BECAUSE of the stench[/sub]: Doper-Babes, the smartest, classiest babes on the planet will back me up here, right? Ditto gay Dopers?

Right?

Anyway, if I find you, I will take a firehose to you and, once destenched, I will make you write “I will not put on perfume in a small public bathroom with an insufficient fan” ten billion times.

Fenris, who’s shit stinks, but not as much as this guy’s perfume.

2

You’re only smelling this when you’re in the bathroom?

I’d vote for some one who carries their own air freshner w/them instead of cologne then.

I’ve known several people (mostly male) who have this fascination w/spraying large quantities of sickenly sweet air freshner in bathrooms. I had a boss who did that (I took the lable off of a can of air freshner and put it on a can of silly string. :D)

and re: the dousing issue: I used to tell people to ‘go light’ on colognes/perfumes, then it occured to me - the person that just made me gag as they walked by had been told the same thing and thought that they were.

on the original subject for which you’re looking for opinions - yes, fruity/sweet scents don’t thrill me when emintating from the guy next to me.

3

Fenris I can feel your pain. I have a guy who I work with - and he just left my “area” (I don’t have an office - I have an “area”) who you just want to walk up to, slap (on the back, people! Really!) and say “Hey - great cologne - must you marinate in it?”

Unfortunately, it’s a brand that gives me a splitting headache as well…

And we won’t even get into the women in the area (not from my department, thank god) who go into the Ladies Room and have to use “body spray”. That has some type of powder or something in it. That when it gets on the floor (because they feel a need to spray enough of it to damn near give themselves a kevlar like coating) makes it absolutely impossible to walk on if you’re wearing heels that have leather soles or something else slippery and end up slipping and falling. Happy Friday. And oh - the fact that we need full face protection to walk in there because of the cologne/body spray fumes just to be able to breathe is no biggee either.

Sorry, Fenris, I’m having a bad day. I didn’t mean to rant in your rant thread. :frowning:

4

Wring: I can smell traces of it elsewhere, but the bathroom in question is tiny and it’s where he douses it on. I can even ID which sink he’s standing at when he’s pouring it on.

Missy: feel free to join in. My rant-threads are your rant threads! :slight_smile:

5

I’m with wring on this one. Someone’s overdoing the Circus-scented Glade after dropping the bomb.

Are you sure you’re company didn’t recently switch maintainence people or suppliers? Maybe they’ve got one of those “pffft” things in there that periodically sprays out a fine mist of death to cover up the eau-de-Fenris.

6

There’s a solution to this problem.

Buy a can of Turgasept, a now thankfully obscure bathroom disinfectant product effective against all odors and life forms. Do a couple of swift sprays with this stuff the next time you have to use the can, and the cotton-candy aftershave smell will vanish, to be replaced by the scent of Nuclear Winter/Chemical Death. Nothing survives a blast of Turgasept. The bonus is that no one will ever want to use that bathroom again, and you’ll have it all to yourself.

7

It’s true. The smell of shit + sweet air freshener is worse than the smell of shit alone.

8

It ain’t air freshener.

It doesn’t smell like air-freshener. It smells like pre-teen pefume (“Eau-de-My-Pretty-Pony”)

I caught the smell it going out into the hall and turning left, twice apparently right after it was applied.

I can occasionally catch wiffs of it elsewhere in the building. (no, I can’t go around sniffing in various areas)

It’s not in any other bathroom.

It’s aftershave.

And it stinks.

Fenris

9

I bet it’s Dior’s Farenheit cologne.
Its very sweet smelling, violetish.
for men.

its nice in insy tinsy weensy bits on some people.

10

I’ll back you up, Fenris. I detest cologne or any kind of fragraqnce on a man. A fit, healthy man should have his own masculine, sweaty smell–one that makes me swoon.

I have noticed the stink of perfume most noticeably on some of the Middle Eastern men[sup]*[/sup] who shop at my grocery store. I really don’t need the reek of patchouli when I’m shopping for bran flakes.

[sup]*[/sup] In this post, I mention only a tiny subset of Middle Eastern men, and nothing I write has any reflection or reference to Middle Eastern men in general. That means that I better not hear one damn word about paintbrushes or generalizations from anyone.

11

Yeah, I was greeted by a State Fair shit myself this morning in the cuarto de poopie.

I swear to gawd somebody left a fucking brown funnel cake in the shitter. My first thought was “Crimeny, what’d he have for dinner? A rope?”

12

Gobear, I notice that you avoided using the term Middle Eastern descent.

13

Lieu, I am giving you a very pointed Look right now. I grow tired of having my posts picked apart by the PC crowd. Yes, they’re of Middle Eastern descent because they’re recent, first-generation immigrants from the Middle East, so OF COURSE, they are descended from other people from the Middle East; who did you think they were descended from, the Chinese?

14

Farenheit!
I love the smell of that stuff but it’s true that it is one that must be worn in small doses.
I wear both cotton candy body spray and patchouli oil. But I put them on in well ventilated areas because I know they can be heavy and lingering.

15

Gobear, woah buddy. That was a play on the word de-scent, nothing more.

16

My apologies, Lieu. I’m just a little gun shy from being targeted by certain people, and I didn’t get the humourous double meaning you intended. I’m sorry.

17

My meaning, like Fenris’ nasal passages, apparently wasn’t entirely clear. :slight_smile:

18

In all seriousness, to help Fenris cope with his afflicted nasal passages, there is a fairly decent hospital disinfectant/air freshener we use around here called Citrace, which works well on odors* and has only a mild, rapidly dissipating citrus scent of its own. Maybe management could “pony” up the dough for some of this stuff, in the hopes of avoiding workplace warfare (it is nearly hopeless in my experience to try to get scent-splashers to realize that they’re overdoing it).

*It is also promoted as killing HIV-1, herpes simplex virus, influenza virus, polio, Staph, Salmonella etc., not that that would necessarily be of importance at your firm.

19

I dunno Fenris I just got back from the County Jail (visiting, ya know), stopped in the bathroom (now you know I’m brave), and caught this intense cotton candy odor and it was definately an air freshner type of thing that was rigged up to the toilets.

:eek:

20

“Hey! You got shit in my cotton candy!”

“Hey, you got cotton candy in my shit!”

Sorry. It was there, I had to.

b.