I thought this was going to be a discussion comparing the relative merits of Randy Johnson v Ron Guidry.
Ooh, Glasgow…cold. The severe cold and wind hasn’t hit yet today, but it’s a-comin’.
That’s the guy. If you like Elmore Leonard (or even Dave Barry, who has started writing similar novels), you’d love Hiaasen’s work.
Haven’t seen the movie either, but you’re right on the money. Another great novel, with a very strong heroine - she strips to pay the bills, but he manages to avoid every single “skanky hooker”/“whore with a heart of gold” cliche. I should stop now, or start a Hiaasen thread in Cafe Society.
When I was in Banff in Canada for my honeymoon, I saw a bunch of idiots on the side of the road trying to get close to a bear cub for pictures. I promptly went to the nearest ranger station and told them about it.
For the wildlife impaired, playing with a bear cub = death from momma. Bears are bigger, stronger, and faster than you, and they can climb trees better too. Apparently whether you should play dead or get aggressive depends on the bear’s mood, so your best bet is not to fuck with them in the first place.
Oh and it was also elk mating season, so the signs also warned against fucking with the randy stags. Elk are sorta like deer, except huge and ornery.
A few years ago my wife and I were riding on some bike paths thorugh the woods on Jekyll Island, and we came across a bunch of people staring across a small inlet. We stopped to look, too. A six-foot gator was out sunning himself on the opposite bank of the lagoon. Sure enough, some guy took his two kids around the lagoon to get a better look at the gator. Fortunately for him and his kids, the gator slid back into the inlet long before they got close to him.
They brought sticks to poke it with. Don’t know what part of the country they were from, but God, that Dad was one ignorant fool.
We do have this problem up in Pennsylvania too, when some schmuck of a tourist (or even a really dumb Pennsylvanian) thinks that it’s a good idea to try to pet the cute little bear cub that wandered close to their camp.
Mommy ain’t far off, people, and she will defend her baby to your death.
But…isn’t that what the elk want?
Yeah. And unless you’re built like a she-elk, I’d say that’s a problem! :eek:
checking self Nope, not elklike. Poor randy elks.
Imagine the surprise of the deer hunters who douse themselves with (female-deer-in-oestrus-derived) attractant scent and attract elk (wapiti, for the Europeans among us…our elk ain’t your elk) instead.
Horny elk, so to speak.
Love this:
Not very useful information unless they tell us how many bears the elk have injured, now is it? 
After two days of driving with pestering and squabbling kids in the back seat, mom and dad finally find a solution, and are about to act upon it, when you and your buddy interrupt them.
A girl I went to grade school with is currently missing her right arm courtesy of a polar bear. She was a zookeeper at the Cincinnati Zoo and she was in charge of feeding the polar bears. She had gotten to know them so well that she got careless and reached into the cage to feed one particular bear his favorite food: a grape.
Turns out the grape was his second favorite food.
She said that it was an out of body experience as she watched the bear crunch on her hand and then start to slowly engulf her arm with each swallow. She could hear her own bones crunching from his teeth and see her blood on his teeth.
If an animal will literally bite the hand that feeds it, it will most certainly bite the hand that is clicking a camera.
Speaking of which, you’d be amazed how many tourists (not just Yankees, but from around the world) come to Atlanta and want to know where Tara is …
Currently? Is she getting a prosthetic? One of these perhaps?
Then by all means, send them to Jonesboro! 