A lot of dumpings are in a pissed off state, these can sometimes be re-considered when the parties have cooled down. Coldy planned dumpings not so much, these are generally over and done.
Being dumped sucks. You may never know the real reason or someday out of the blue you may get an explanation. Work on being the best you possible.
Oh, in this case I’m pretty sure I know why, but it doesn’t really help take the sting out it, more like it makes me feel like “how could I have been such an idiot”.
You’re free! The rest is hormones. Drown the hormones with food and friends.
Freedom!
Sometimes they come back, but they ONLY come back after you move on. Usually. The best way to move on is to move on, and the best hope for reconciliation is also moving on.
Did she ever talk to you about your negativity before breaking up with you? People who love each other and want a relationship talk about things and try to work them out.
Have you considered that the problem may be with her and not you?
If she was willing to bail on you at the first sign of trouble and while you were going through a rough time then you are better off without her.
Relationships take work and they have their ups and downs and somebody who is not willing to stick around through the downs is not ready for a relationship.
I’m no expert but I think the truth is that she was not ready to move in with you and rather than talk about it with you she looked for something to be wrong and used your negativity as an excuse.
Word. Fuck that sulking shit. I don’t dismiss how much it sucks to have your heart truly broken, but spend times with friends, put on your running shoes, take care of yourself. Do not sit around with Hagen Daz. That’s bullshit and will only make you feel worse.
It’s human (and just fine) to indulge in self-pity before putting on the bootstraps. We can’t all be as metal as you.
Pssh, I’ve been through some shitty breakups. Not saying tears are verboten; just saying don’t let “It’s okay to cry” morph into a free pass to sob into your ice cream. Keep your body and mind busy, busy, busy. It won’t stop the hurt, but it’ll help to distract.
She tried to talk to me about it. I’ve been in a melancholy state since last summer when my dog died. I eventually got to the point of being functional, but it took months of therapy and anti-depressants, and the latter had some negative side effects.
I’ve also felt completely under siege from my job. I support, in a key position, a really high profile medical research program, and not doing my job well could literally impact millions of people by delaying an entirely new field of therapy from reaching human trials. There’s been a great deal of pressure and stress on me from this for quite a long time now. My efforts to get more help at work have mostly been rebuffed for budgetary or other reasons, so I’ve had to attempt to soldier through it and it has taken its toll on me.
It’s my sense of being overwhelmed and negative from this that got to her. If I had had more social outlets, I could have split my ventings up, but she got the full force of my negativity.
She says she realizes how important my work is, but I don’t know…I feel like she lost faith in me.
Her attempts to discuss it were mostly about how my mood was effecting her own mood. What I needed was someone who would cheer me up… Her main efforts to cheer me up were to try to get me to use the same kind of daily affirmations that work for her (e.g. see positive side of things, list three things every day to be grateful for, etc.). That’s great but I guess I needed something else. I think if we had been able to communicate better, the breakup would not have happened.
Communicate. Communicate. Communicate in a relationship. This is a really hard lesson to grok for me, an introverted INTJ that reminds her a little of Sheldon Cooper, but there it is.
Hiring someone to be your “venting outlet” may do you good. A regular appointment with a counselor allows you to concentrate your whining, complaining, self-absorbed musings, wailing, and raging all in a compact 50-minute session. That frees up the rest of your time to live life, and it also keeps you from unburdening on friends and family. Oh yeah, and you might actually get the helpful advice you’re looking for.
Needing someone to cheer you up all the time is NOT sustainable.
If someone depended on me to “cheer them up”, and I offered my ways of dealing with stress, and they said, ‘oh, that’s stupid/too girly/not cuttin’ it/it’s not working for me’ and they STILL came whining to me to “cheer them up” - I would run like the wind, too. We should all be supportive of each other, but focussing on one person to perform magic and make everything all better again? Pay a professional! A loving partner is a person, too, and shouldn’t be carrying the burden of Official Cheer-er Upper.
Day after day of negativity does not make one more endearing, nor bring on delicious dreams of a rosey future.
I ain’t got much to offer, other than to second MeanOldLady’s advice.
Get back out there, man. There’re too many ‘fish in the sea’ and it’s a very big sea.
Rebait the hook, and cast again. Eventually, you’ll ‘land a keeper’. 
ETA: Monstro has some pretty good advice, also.
Therapy session schedule for Wednesday. Then weekly thereafter until I run out of things to vent/bitch about. Then I’ll start making lists of things to be positive above, using numbers corresponding to spiraling Fibonacci sequences until they get too large. I will do anything I can to get past this, past the hurt of NC, past the shunning by her friends, past everything.
I’m a good and awesome person!