When we left our brave and adventurous party, they had just defeated the deadly Drider known to Phaistos- a dark combination of Drow and Spider.
But now begins the next chapter! The Pie Chapter of Volume 3 and the collection of what deeds occurred during the final 4 battles of the first challenge of Oxyman!
The 6th Battle: True Neutral!
This challenge brought forth a Huge Dire Lion, representing True Neutrality, a most favorable ideology to this one Archivist. The Dire lion was horrifically huge, truly a mutation of its kind, the size of an elephant, with bony plating and armor about its form.
I, Jenks, kindly attempted to communicate to Khel to blast the Neutral Beast with Magic, by miming out spellcasting motions and making “PEW PEW PEW!” noises, before being informed by Khel the Druid that he was no longer deafened after the previous round, and could quite normally understand me.
Calven however chose to rise to occasion and go for the Wizarding hat trick: using his Magical Randomizing Wand of Wonder to blast yet a third lion. The Wand hissed out a *Cloudkill *effect centered on the beast, causing it grave damage to its hardiness and constitution. It also had the unforseen (but foreseen by me of course) effect of enraging the lion, and causing it to focus on Calven the swashbuckler as the target of it’s rage.
Needless to say the party scattered and attempted to fight this giant creature, arrows were fired, negative energy spells, even Khel casting Lightning bolts from an enclosed area (Pew pew pew!) did not deter the lion from his object of rage. The lion rushed towards Calven, and proceeded to repeatedly maul him with his deadly claws and bites. Our Undead Possibly Infected ZombieBlackScale Lizard even attempted to smash the lion, but a single focused attack by the lion dispatched our undead ally to Vrai’s dismay.
The Lion proceeded to clamp down on Calven and toss him like a ragdoll into the corner, leaving him barely alive. The Battle had became an endurance match of our noble warriors damaging the lion while the lion had focused on our Swashbuckling Swordsman- but what was needed was a touch of Archival magic. A Mystic Lash was summoned by myself and would strategically allow me to continue attacking the lion even while I was able to free up my hands to focus on other duties, such as keeping Calven alive. However, Klara, our slave-girl force wizard, and object of Calven’s affection ran over to Calven and managed to try to keep him alive with potions and googly eyes. She also attempted to stand in front of an enraged giant lion to protect Calven. This led to (forseen again by yours truly) the Lion attacking her and knocking her completely out.
This would have dire and lasting repercussions it seemed.
The very act of watching Klara laying prone in a pool of her own blood enraged our hotblooded Calven, and he called out to our invaluably valuable Archivist to heal her. I of sounder more rational mind, reminded him that she was merely knocked out and likely not to be the focus on the lion’s attack- that I should focus on my energies on saving him and/or defeating the lion. This further irritated Calven, causing him to utter the treat towards myself:* “If she bleeds out, Jenks, the pointy end of my sword goes through your chest. Just remember that!”*
Those words caught the ear of our Necromancer, Vrai, who became irritated at Calven for his threats against an obviously far more useful member of the party.
I attempted to reason with Calven, but the huge dire lion roaring behind me did not seem to help. Thankfully, my mystical Lash, continuing in its’ attack was able to finish off the beast.
Yes, that’s right dear readers! Yours truly was able to show everyone the might of Jenksian Archival magic by defeating the Dire Lion (with the help of my party of course, and my Swashbuckler taking the brunt of the lion’s fury)
However, it seemed the battle was not over yet- tempers were hot, and suddenly the next battle started!
Battle #7: Chaotic Good!
An Eladrin, described as a tiny (3inches) winged elf-like woman named Fae was summoned into the battlefield, confused and surprised to be there. What followed was a highly confusion debate of words, as Oxyman had noted all opponents had to be defeated to continue on- but this tiny eladrin was of no threat to us, and many in the party (Khel and Calven) did not wish to “kill” the creature simply to continue on. I communicated with her, and explained the situation, causing her to panic further as I explained we needed simply to kill her, but it was likely she would not really die. It seems my words were not as comforting to her mind as to mine. I then tried to stall for time, while Calven gave a most noble speech to the illusionary (ie: Fake) crowd and the (likely insane) wizard about having to fight for sport and amusement. Meanwhile, Vrai then killed Fae, the scared Eladrin, who then disappeared as she was unsummoned.
Once again, another straw was placed on the swordsman’s back, as Calven, drew his sword against Vrai. Khel also agrees and stands with Calven as the party becomes horrible entangled in a (rather silly) moral quagmire. A war of words ensues with Khel calling out Vrai, and Oxyman delaying to watch the fight ensue. Meanwhile, I take advantage of this lapse, and start to heal up the party for the next round- and yes, Klara the wizard is healed up and standing again, but the heated exchanges continue- first about the idea of killing a defenseless creature, and then the fact that Vrai chose to do so without consulting with the Order itself.
Blah blah blah. I don’t know why these silly irrational beings continue to talk and waste time, but at least it allowed me to buff up the party again. Oh, and the Mouth tells us that if we kill one another, we will all be trapped in the tower for eternity or until we starve to death, blah blah blah, standard disclaimers and fine prints. A point that should not have even been raised, until our swordsman drew his blade against our Necromatic wizard.
Finally, Oxyman’s mouth once again calls us together for the next round!
**Battle 8: **Lawful Good!
[spoiler] The Mouth continued as it summoned forth 4 Hound Archons, giant dog-headed men that worshiped at the Gods of Law and Good. Thankfully, they also seemed to be of rational mind- and they stepped forth to address our ranks- inquiring if we knew of any Evil creatures that were in need of smiting.
The party uneasily glanced around at each other before looking at Vrai. Who put on his most charming of faces. I attempted to inquire about the definitions of Evil and who deserved smiting, insinuating that perhaps our (insane) summoning Wizard Oxyman could fit the bill- earning me a stern warning from the Mouth.
Vrai continued to negotiate with the Hounds Archon, and through his words, convinced them that they had not been summoned to this plane by their Gods, but rather by the Wizard Oxyman to battle us for his amusement. The Hounds Warned Oxyman, and then proceeded, much to the shock of this writer, to stab themselves in their own chest and unsummoned themselves from the battle.
Once again, leading to more words, as Vrai began to gloat about his thoughts of being unsummoned versus being “killed” in the arena. He noted that he did not kill the Eladrin, but merely unsummoned her (Honestly, why are we still talking about her? Though she did have such pretty hair…) Oxyman’s mouth helpfully notes that Vrai, did not kill the creature, however, his methods of disposal certainly led to some psychological trauma and madness when she returned to her home plains.
And once again more threats were exchanged between Vrai, Calven, and Khel, with Vrai making one more final threat that should he fall, with his dying actions he would ensure to murder at least one other member of the party, thus ensuring our doom and entrapment within the towers!
“And with that charming image, the final challenge!”- Oxyman’s Mouth.
That tale is so epic and its repercussions so far reaching, that it’s own Chapter!
So until next time, faithful readers!
[/spoiler]
-Jenks the Archivist
