The guy at the food stand (startled me, too, since there were like 8 girls around) started talking about pickup lines. One I thought was funny was to walk up to a girl, pinch a bit of her shirt (not her!) and rub it a little and ask “Say, is this felt?”. After she responds no, say, “Well, now it is!” snicker
Or the ever classic “Get over here, biatch” :rolleyes:
Ooh! I had one work a couple of weeks ago. I was dancing/flirting with a girl, and another group of girls asked if I would dance with them (apparently I was emitting large doses of male pheremones, because I don’t know WHERE that came from). I declined, saying that I was busy flirting with the girl I was dancing with.
In my experience, if you let the girl know that you are flirting with her, the better your chances. But you have to do so in a playful manner. For instance, if at any point the two of you are holding hands/dancing close/face touching/etc., refer to her jokingly as your girlfriend. When she denies that you’re not dating her, ask her, “Then what was up with all that hand holding/dancing close/face touching/etc.?!?” I swear to God that this has worked.
I was standing in line at an ice cream counter at some food court at some mall in Minneapolis. There was a beautiful- I mean stunning- I mean drop-dead gorgeous woman in front of me. I remembered recently being told that “you regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did.”
So, I screwed my courage to the sticking point, tapped her on the shoulder, cleared my throat, and smiled at her as she turned around. She smiled back. I thought, ‘Woohoo!’
“Excuse me, but do you like chips?”
She raised one eyebrow questioningly. “Do I li-”
“Because I’m Frito-Lay,” I quickly interrupted.
She paused, tilted her head quizzically, then smacked me with a slap so forceful that it spun Casanova over in his grave. She stormed off, choosing not to purchase any ice cream.
I stood there, blinking at the shock, and bought my ice cream. For the life of me, to this day I can’t figure out where I went wrong. I mean, Frito-Lay! It’s a priceless line!
I once had a college crush track me down at a local pub. She snuck up on me, put her feet in my lap and with a playful look asked me if I had time to help her with P-Chem. Duh. I sucked at P-Chem. So what do I do? “Uh, I would, but I’m meeting friends in a few minutes. Besides I think so&so knows much more than I do.” Yeah, ‘so&so wasn’t a dumbass like Waverly.
At least that mistake didn’t earn me a beer shower. Rule of thumb: never invite two different girls out for drinks on the same night, at the same bar. They were good sports… they laughed as they threw every drink in sight at me.
But hey, as LNO said, better to take flight and crash and burn than sit on the tarmac.