I’m sure this has been done before, but the Epitaphs thread has worn me out. Anyway, some background…
I was out with a couple of friends on Saturday night, and noticed a few women I would’ve genuinely liked to ask out. However, I don’t really have any idea how to generate a “pick-up” conversation with a total stranger. I’m of the opinion that a simple introduction will likely be met with either a blank stare or polite indifference; “Hi, I’m Zack,” just doesn’t seem like it will work. And I do know the value of those cheese-ball lines as icebreakers, but I don’t know that they’re necessarily how I want to come across.
Now, I’m not a terribly shy person; I think there are enough people on the board who’ve met me and will attest to this. But the pressure on the first impression of a romantic target is a little stronger, so I get nervous about it. So spill it, Dopers. I want to know approaches and/or lines that have worked for/on you. I’m especially interested in the ladies opinions, but if any of you guys have a foolproof method that you want to share, please do.
As a woman, I have to say I can only respect honesty. I had a guy just comeout and tell me he thought I was nice to look at (or something like that), tell me his name and ask to buy me a drink. It was so refreshingly honest and calm. He wasn’t asking me to go home with him, go anywhere with him, just have a bit of his company. We had a nice conversation and dated a few times. He ended up meeting someone else so it didn’t go anywhere, but it was nice while it lasted.
So be HONEST, don’t try to be someone you are not. Nice girls will see that you are a good guy and if they are interested or available will most likely accept. If they can’t accept they will probably respect you for it.
My favourite pick-up line that was used on me was, “Would you like to come over and see my lizard?” We have talked about this here before somewhere. Anyway, I was pretty disapointed that he actually had several different lizards in his house. It wasn’t until later that I got to see the lizard I wanted to see. I still laugh about that line. I never thought it would be a serious line and not actually be a line for some sexual proclivities.
A friend of mine named Marco uses “Hi…I’m Marco.” Says it works like a charm. I see no reason that “Hi…I’m Zack,” wouldn’t work just as well, but if it makes you unhappy, go ahead with “Hi…I’m Marco.” Just remember that you’ll be “Marco” for the rest of the night, and respond when she uses that name. Alternatively, you could admit to being Zack after the conversation gets going, and tell her you used “Marco” because someone you met on the Internet recommended it as a successful pick-up line. Whatever you do, don’t try “Hi…I’m Bob.”
Any guy who comes over and uses some line is sure to get a brush off…he is trying too hard and somehow seems really desperate… plus you naturally assume he has used the same lame line on every other female in the place…
Trust me… just walk over, say hello and engage her in some friendly… but not overly sexual conversation. It will work every time.
Well, I think it’s now obvious the painfullly small amount that I know about women, as most seem to be of the “Just introduce yourself,” vein. And that would apparently work smashingly if I were attempting to woo elelle.
So the introduction and plying her with alcohol approach is the best bet, huh? I suppose I’ll try it next weekend. I’d still be interested in hearing other opinions on this, and Nika’s post got me thinking of something else. How many of you have been in a relationship of any length as a result of a cold introduction-i.e., not a setup through a friend, not dating a friend or someone you’ve known for a while. I’m talking bar hookups, accosting someone in the self-help aisle at Barnes and Noble, thumping melons at Schnucks.
I dated a guy for a year and a half that I introduced myself to. It was a long time ago and I still regret that we broke up. He was wonderful and we were really good together. (In a deranged time I broke it off, a HUGE mistake)
I met a girl in a night club in San Antonio and we ended up together for 8 months. Had my job in the Air Force not sent me away constantly (I was out of town approx 1/3 of the year for about 3 weeks at a time) we may have stayed together longer.
Usually when I am out at a bar or a restaurant, it’s usually with with a group of men and women so the opportunity is rare.
When it was just us girls, I do remember that a guy might come up to the whole group, introduce himself and start general conversation. But rarely have I been “picked” up by someone I don’t know in some way.
For me, I prefer not to meet strange people in strange places. Over the past 10 years, most of the men I have dated I knew from work, through friends and (not kidding) on line – all were in on line group gatherings.
So remember, she may give you a strange look, not because she is repulsed by you but simply for the fact she is not interested in being picked up. If she’s like me, she prefers to talk with men she has some background with.
I met a guy by throwing a drink on him. Really. My company has an industry party every summer with lots of drinking & lots of dancing. He happened to run into me & I spilled the majority of my drink on his jacket. While I was trying to appologise & wipe off his coat, he looked in my glass & said “well, there’s not much left in there. You should have just spilled the whole thing on me.” So … I poured the rest of it on him. (please don’t ask why, it just seemed like the thing to do at the time.) After the party he invited my friends & me back to his house for a painting party (he’s an artist as well as an art director). We dated for about a year starting that night.