On a related note, a friend of a friend (yeah, I know, but I’ve met the guy) uses the following technique:
Guy: Hi…I’m Daniel P. Towson.
To which, invariably, the response was:
Girl: P? What does “P” stand for?
Guy: Pennis.
Girl: (wrinkling her nose, trying to decide if this is a put-on) Pennis?
Guy: Yeah. After my great-great uncle, the Confederate General Alfred Pennis. My mom’s got a real sense of history and insisted on it. After all… (blah blah, blah, more BS)
Girl: Wow, that’s so cool!
Of course, this technique requires lying (if I recall correctly, this guy’s real middle name was John), but you could at least get a chancve to polish your story-telling.
Does uncontrollable drool count as being real? This really happened. I saw a beautiful girl at a party, I knew a few of her girlfriends, and managed to introduce myself (saliva notwithstanding). She must have seen past the drool, 'cause we went out for two and a half years, and got married. She is still with me, and I am still drooling. The only thing I did when I met her was say “Hi”.
I met my ex-husband in a bar. He was the d-jay and I was just a barfly. He was interested in me for about 3 months before we started dating. We aren’t together anymore but we were together for 6 years so that has to mean something. (I guess)
My current boyfriend and I met in a bar…in the same bar where I met my ex. Hmmmm, think there’s any connection? Anyway, I saw him one night and thought he was really hot and I really wanted to take him home that night but resisted! He asked me to dance and we danced 3 songs in a row and talked the rest of the night and we’ve been together ever since!
I hit it off with my future wife with the line, on an IRC channel no less “But I’m 28 and still single”. She responded with her age (33) and single. Things got better from there. We met a few months later in real life, married that december, and by now have 2 kids.
Wow, that’s interesting to me, because most of the women I’ve met online say they are looking for someone who tends to be about 10 years older than them and RICH. Ok, well “financially secure” is the way they usually put it, but hey, same diff, right? So maybe that’s what I’ll get for my 30th birthday… a 21 y/o girlfriend.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I had a 3 year relationship with someone that I had met online several years prior. We had been friends online without ever meeting in person for about 3 years, if I remember correctly. But alas, the whole thing started falling apart after I shipped out to the air force.
“Does the term ‘Pity Fuck’ hold any special meaning in your heart?”
Actually one to keep in mind when traveling that has worked with me many a time was:
“Do you speak English?”
It not only lets you know immediately whether or not you should keep trying, but it easily segways into many conversations: Home country, language classes, etc.
Back in college I took a Sociology course and it covered meeting people in one section. It had a neat 5 (4?) step rule for finding people that were interested in you. I sorta followed its advice and was quite surprised that it actually worked. I’m sorry, I only partially remember it from the guys point of view. But the first couple of hints seemed to increase my chances of a successful meeting, and steered me clear of ones that would be a potential disaster.
Here they are as I remember them:
Eye-contact. Gotta have it. If she smiles when you hold that eye-contact for more than 2 seconds- Bingo! If she doesn’t make eye-contact or actively avoids it- don’t waste the effort, find someone who does.
Proximity. Seriously this one is true! After you have made eye-contact, if she gets up and comes close to you, then you might have some interest being shown. In a bar there are many places and ways to get somewhere, but if she walks all the way around the room to walk by you as she goes to the bathroom or to order a drink or ???, then buddy, get ready for step 3.
Introduction. This is where being a nice, charming, etc. guy buys you points. Listen to the ladies above- don’t over do this one, especially if 1. and 2. are present- don’t fail at the beginning.
Mimicking(sp?). Now that you’re talking away and being happy, if you notice that she leans forward when you do, or crosses her arms when you do, or leans to one side or the other when you do, this is a good sign! If not, listen more to her responses, she might be trying to brush you off now that she found out more about you. It happens.
Agreement to meet again. If the four above went well, then she will probably give you her real phone number, not the one to the local car-wash. Where you take this from here is up to you and your conscience.
After I read these I went to the bars and just watched. Sometimes it was hilarious how accurate this was. You can notice a woman watching some guy, catch them looking at each other, and then tell your friends what was going to happen. Point 2. was the one that got my friends the most when I would say “Look, she’s going to get up in the next few minutes and walk right by him on the way to the bathroom.” and 5 minutes later it happened. Funny stuff to watch, and when I actively tried it, I’d wait for point 2. then go and introduce myself a few minutes later, or stop her when she walked back by with a nice and simple “Hello.”
Not 100%, but it can increase your odds. I mean, a woman who avoids your stares, never gets near you, and sorta rolls her eyes as you walk towards her to say hello is giving off some pretty good signals that you ain’t gonna score tonight big guy. Find someone else.
Nika, does ‘got email’ work? Well, it does for me. No matter how young or pretty the lady, writing that on some paper & showing it to her always gets me her email. The rest is work.
I used to be very shy around women. During my teens I had little interaction with them and struggled to understand them and their ‘motives’ etc. As a result I strugled for years to even talk to them before I realised they were people too. Don’t laugh (well, not too much), it sounds simple but relevant. They have feelings, desires and insecurities just as we do. Just talk to them. Don’t use a corny line - it seems to imply a certain sleaziness on your part. Simply saying hi/g’day and just talking about anything around or just admitting you wanted to talk to her. Confidence is attractive (remind me to tell you about my bastard theory sometime).
Nika: Do cyber relationships work? Sometimes. Usually comes back to how honest people are though (just like r/time relationships). I’ve met a person on the net and though we didn’t hit it off romantically we became firmer friends. My housemate meets women through chatlines all the time. His last four girlfriends have been online meetings come to life. Of course he’s a bit of a tramp…
Yep, a very serious SO was a randomly-met girl who I just started chatting to on the spur-of-the-moment. Whirlwind romance, forced seperation, wonderful and whimsical gestures, huge geographic gap now. But it was fun while it lasted.
Well, I used to work at a bar and did get a “hook up” with one of the wait staff. Were casual friends till I lent her my car so she could run errands while I stayed and finished my shift. 2 months later I moved in and was the envy of all the cooks. She got an awsome state job and had to move.
Did not get picked up at the self-help aisle at B&N, it was the Languages section. She worked there and had remembered me from a few days before whe I had to do some lock repair at that store. She and I dated for a while and even got engaged. Sad to say, she went a bit insane and I had to end it. shudder I do still have to book! “Russian Slang & Colloquia Expressions.”
The last couple of guys I dated started with the line, “Hi! Remember me?”. It turned out I had cut their hair but they were too shy to ask me out at my job.
One night I was out and had been drinking, which made me quiet. I looked across the room and a man caught my eye, and he put one finger on each side of his lips and raised them up a little and mouthed the words, “smile.” I did and then he bought me a drink.
Say, girls, what do you think of the line, “I wish I had 5 more senses so you could delight them, too”? Would it make you giggle or puke?
Thanks for the responses, gang. I’ve got plans to head out Friday, and a wedding to go to on Saturday, so we’ll see how things turn out. Although I’m wary of hitting on women who’ve been surrounded by marriage all day…
