I work at a very upscale restaurant, and there is a person, who we’ll call john, there who has said some pretty rude, and malign things toward me. That’s OK, because I can deal in kind, though I’ve bit my tongue thus far. I’ve been biding my time til the appropriate situation comes, where I can ream john a new one. But, due to my temper, I’ve recently decided that I should take a different course, because I’d probably end up spitting in the bitch’s face, and, in turn, receive punative measures for it from my superiors. So I’ve come up with a few other ways in which to reap my vengance.
First, of which, is to have a meeting with john and a manager, in which, I recount everything john’s said to me, thus making me look more proffesional, and john like a heel.
I’ve gained substantial clout since I started working there, and I think this would bode well on my part.
Secondly, I could get some friends to come in, when john’s late wait, and get them to say that john was very rude, and condescending. John has been reported for this before, and if I can get some good actors, to intensify the level of drama, it would put john on the shit list.
Thirdly, I’ve noticed that john likes to bitch about, and spread rumors about the managers a lot. If I could catch john doing this with a small tape recorder, and put it anonymously on one of the manager’s desks, it would probably be bad for john.
I’ve come up with a few others which seem a bit too excessive, and so I’ve dismissed them. So what do you guys think? I’m thinking that the second, followed by the first, would probably get john out of my hair forever. Any more suggestions dopers? THX!!!
Take the high road and go with your idea about the manager. The others have the potential to backfire.
I would suggest you stick with meeting with mgt (without “john” present) rather than faking complaints or secretly taping him. The former can backfire if you somehow get caught and is unethical. The latter may be criminal and also may open you up to civil liability (standard IANAL disclaimer). Truth is generally the best option, especially since if you report “john” for making comments it could be construed as “harassment” which pretty much requires your employer to deal with it or else. Responding in kind, though, weakens your case.
Hey moe,I’ll gladly go in there and bitch about “John” if you’ll pay for my meal. Or, if you divert a shipment of fresh fliet mignon over to my house (we’ll have a cookout), I’ll burst through the door with a flamethrower and REALLY get him outta yer hair. Just gimme a call, you know the number 
I’m assuming this John is male… if that assumption is correct, this could be fun…
Have one of your more attractive female friends come in with a guy who’s also in on the plan… ask her to wear something revealing (loose shirt with a low cut neck comes to mind) when his eyes drift where they inevitably will, much chaos could ensue if she makes a scene and the guy plays his part in the “I’m gonna kick yer ass buddy” kinda role… that should make the management really happy.
or if lying isn’t out of the question, she could even say John got a little touchy… but then you might have people at other tables piping up in his defense.
other than that, anyone know how to make “soilent greens”?.. it is a resturant isn’t it? that’s a great way to get rid of a body… not that I would ever advocate violence against anything living, dead, undead
oh pish-posh the highroad… where’s the fun in that… we need creative vengence…
I’ll keep it going… how about having a female friend pretend to take him into the back room… when you see them go back there, ask a manager for help reaching something in the backroom… teehee
ofcourse that would be a little like whoring out your friend… but no actions need take place, just the implication of the intended course of action might be enough to bring down the wrath of management…
revenge is a dish best served cold…
get anywhere with him alone for 30 seconds, scream, claim sexual harrassment. no witnesses necessary, impossible to disprove, and the political climate is always in the accusers favor.
whats he gonna do? deny it? yeah, sure he will. the more he denys it, the more it sounds like he is lying. you almost cant lose! even if they do NOTHING about it, they will keep thier eye on him, and he would be a FOOL to get near you or talk shit ever again!
of course, this would be WRONG! i cant recommend it!
Smithers, release the hounds!