Lifts are boring. People tend not to talk, and they don’t seem to know where to direct their eyes. So just for fun…
Stand right up against the doors. It startles people who are getting on.
Stand with your nose in the corner.
If you’re with friends or co-workers who would be appalled by your antics, point your umbrella or other handy object (I have a very bright little LED flashlight on my keychain) at the door before it opens and say, “Watch me scare the hell out of this guy.” (But you may want to stop pointing before the doors open. )
The LED flashlight comes in handy with jumpy co-workers, too. It emits a very bright blue-white beam. Just as your co-worker presses a the button, flash the light at his or her hand and go, “ZZDTTZZZZZZTTTDZZZZZZZTTTT!!!”
If you get on a lift and there is a guy in a gorilla suit there, act as if nothing is out of the ordinary. (Yes, this has happened.)
When you’re near the top floor and a new rider says, “I hope we get an ‘express’!” Say happily, "Yeah, maybe the cable will break! "
(This one doesn’t always work very well.) When you’re riding down and you reach the ground floor, slowly start squatting as if you are still going down. Similarly, when you are riding up, scootch down just a little bit on the way up so that nobody notices and then rise up on your tiptoes as the lift stops to give the imression you’re still going up.
This thread didn’t exactly take off Johnny but I appreciate the thought.
As I was saying, I don’t find myself in an elevator very often. But on those occasions I notice that most people seem nervous or scared or (I don’t know) just strange!
They usually try to avert their eyes and practically never speak. I will usually stand against a side wall so I can see who’s with me. Often when eye contact is made I’ll say hi or comment on the weather or mention something in the news.
Most people appear startled by this “strange” behavior. Although once in awhile I’ve met some nice folks this way. A captive audience…ha-ha
Hey, sounds like a new dating tactic. (maybe old hat for y’all, I’ve never heard of it) Dress nice, take a few elevator rides meeting people along the way. That building doesn’t work, go to the next one.
So, do you ever sing along with the music just for kicks? I can see the doors open and there’s a lift full of folks jammin’…that’d make a pretty good commercial for something. It’d be different anyway.
Imagine that while you and your fellow elevator-inhabitants are travelling up or down, all the other people on the world simply disappeared. The doors open and you - the elevator riders - are all that’s left on the planet.
My favorite elevators ever are in the Luxor casino in Las Vegas. It’s a huge pyramid, and the elevators are in each corner so they go up and down at a 45 degree angle.
After a few drinks, the easiest way to ride in one is spread eagle on the floor. Trust me on this.
On ‘tourist’ elevators (like the SpaceNeedle), after the introduction speech about height, speed, etc. - it is always fun to ask about terminal velocity if the cable breaks…
The elevators in the building where I work announces the floor where they are stopping at. My boss has managed to time the sequence of the elevator slowing, stopping, and the voice announcing the floor. So, everytime he gets rides in it, he’ll go “What floor at we at now, Mr. Elevator?” a split second before the elevator says “Floor Two” or whatever the correct answer is. He just gets the weirdest stares and an occassional laugh.
My wife actually did this. We were in the elevator in a large hospital in Boston, coming down from our allergist’s office. The department we were coming from was a floor or two below the neurology and psychology dept. About two floors below where we got on the elevator stopped and a couple of doctors got on, just after the doors closed my wife turns to me and says “excuse me sir, are the voices in my head bothering you.” The looks on the doctors’ faces were priceless!
My (male) cousin got married in Vegas. It was fairly classy actually, held at a fake beach or something. No Elvi to be found. I was helping him move his stuff from one hotel to another, as he was only staying in the Honeymoon Suite at a hotel for one night, and spending the rest of the week in a different hotel.
For the final load of luggage, I was tasked with carrying the bride’s dress. The two of us got in the empty elevator - both of us with suitcases, him with a tuxedo slung over one shoulder, me with a dress over one shoulder. About halfway down, the lift stopped and one guy stepped in. He was (not so) slyly staring at us in the reflection off the inside of the doors, and as we neared the lobby I finally said the only thing that could come to mind:
“I lost the bet.”
He all but bolted the instant the doors opened on the ground.
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