You people are wicked, decadent disciples of Caligula. Have you no fear of God? Do you not remember how He dealt with the cities of the plain when their debauchery aroused His anger? “for we will destroy this place, because the cry of them is waxen great before the face of the Lord; and the Lord hath sent us to destroy it.”
Do not lay bare your sins for the amusement of others. Rather repent, and you will be forgiven. Sex is a private act, a sacred act, and I’m horrified to see it discussed so cavalierly. Have some respect for others. And yourselves.
I would have quoted it in here, but that would take some time and I really have to go masturbate (pull the pike, strangle the lizard, spank the monkey, jerk the gherkin, tickle the weasel, peel the zuchinni, tease the trout, love the fist).
StephenG, I tried to click on register to get to see it, but I was logged in (and at that point got worried that the mods would think I was trying to get a sock which I wasn’t). And thanks about the name Anubis: Unlike some others (who I also understand) I’m gonna try to respect your position and not post sexual things in this thread. But I will tell you that antagonizing everyone on the boards who enjoys sex (ahem, almost everyone) isn’t the best way to go about expressing your insecurities about sex, or to make friends here. OK?
You can’t be serious, honey. Sex is not necessarily private (ever heard of a threeway or been to a bathhouse?)or sacred (although one does tend to cry out, "Oh God, Oh God, Oooohhhh GGggooodddd!!!) I have respect for others and myself, which why I always say “Please spank me harder” and “Thank you for the shag.” I am always polite when I’m getting my freak on.
You must be a lousy lay with such an attitude and probably experience to match. Sex is neither shameful nor sinful. It is a healthy amusement and a wonderful pastime. Yes, it’s always better with someone you love, but so are most things.
I’m reminded of an exchange from Woody Allen’s Love and Death:
Diane Keaton:Sex without love is an empty experience.
Woody Allen: Yeah, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best!
I feel bad now. I displayed a lack of class and good taste in my previous post. My apolgies.
Anubis, you need to look at the bright side. It’s because of sick bastards like us that prudes like you are able to understand what a woody is and what head means. You now have someplace to go to ask your own perverted questions to help you better understand the articles in your Hustler mags. It is because of people like us on the streets that other folk who didn’t get a thorough “talk” in their teen years have somewhere to turn for answers. And now, from our teachings, you yourself may be able to provide a good “talk” to children so that later on, there will be a few less people cursed with a lack of knowledge of sexual world. Good cannot exist without evil, and good sex cannot exist without perversion.
btw, I’ll be in the alley again tonight at midnight with more of those dirty pictures that you like to buy. If you were your nun habit again, I’ll give you a 10% discount.
gobear: Quoting Genesis, invoking Caligula, equating SDMB to Sodom and Gomorra… didn’t I leave enough clues that I was posting tongue in cheek? [please no analingus jokes, wouldn’t want to upset the jackal-headed advocate of the dead]
If I’m upset about anything, it’s the great descriptions of fellatio I’ve seen posted coupled with the complete dearth of offers. How nice is that? Get me all worked up for naught.
BTW: Someone explain bukkaki[sp?] to me. Not what it is, understanding that is the easy part, but the why. Is it meant to be demeaning or is that appearance a cultural bias? Or is it more akin to an extreme sport?
were??? That was supposed to read wear. My mistake, I hit the wrong letters cuz my fingers are swollen (I cut my palms while shaving them this morning) and couldn’t see my mistake because I’m going blind.
“And now entering the arena is Billy “Backhand” Reese, who, earlier today, pulled off a Triple-Twisting Twin Nostril. Do you think he’s got it in him to top that?”
“Well, Lance, he’s looking a little ragged…”
“There he goes! Down the forehead chute, between the breast moguls catching BIG air, and YES!!! He’s done it!!! A Full Face Tsunami!!!”
Just a couple of notes on prior posts. Fenris mentioned caramel/butterscotch. May I suggest to my fellow sickos that shaving first will improve the experience for you?
gobear, if you aren’t a party planner, you’ve missed your calling. I’d hire you every Saturday if I had the cash. [sub]Dibs on whatever’s left over after your gay boyfriend and Geobabe are through.[/sub]
Yep. gobear makes the plans, chooses the caterer and the location, and auditions the dwarves; and Cartooniverse starts looking for the gravity boots. I know he had 'em last.
All right. I’m going to make an attempt to answer the OP for real:
I don’t much like to read about sex on the boards either. For me, sex and whitewater paddling have something in common–I enthusiastically participate, but have little interest in reading about or talking about them.
As far as “taking up valuable board space,”–I’m not sure what you mean. The threads are popular, and I guess people find them really interesting. They usually have a lot of views and responses. The sex threads in GQ are usually quite informative and go a long way in fighting ignorance. There are a lot of sex threads in IMHO, but there are also an awful lot of Star Trek threads. I don’t usually bother with either. But I appear to be in the minority.
The threads are easily avoidable. If you don’t like them, don’t read them.
And I agree with whoever said above that you might want to re-examine your views about sexuality. Most of the sex stuff that I have seen on this board is relatively tame. If you think that the people on this board are sickos for a) being interested in sex, or b) being interested in sexual practices other than missionary-position man-on-woman marital intercourse, then perhaps this isn’t the board for you.
Darlin’, by definition, nothing on a message board “wastes space.”[sup]1[/sup] The members of a message board assign value to a topic/thread, by either responding or not responding to the thread. This message board is self-correcting - if a topic is not valued, it quickly disappears; if it is valued, it stays on the boards for a while. Hence, if sex/porn threads are sticking around on these boards, it’s because the members here want them to stick around.
What that says about the values of the SDMB members is up to you to decide. You may not wish to hang around with such “sickos,” but don’t delude yourself - sex and porn are topics that are highly valued here.
Sua
[sup]1[/sup] [sub]As opposed to wasting bandwidth. But that is one of those technical thingies I went to law school to avoid dealing with.[/sub]
