I hate monkeys.
And Porthos.
My monkey has Porthos Pox, causing it to submissive pee on policemen.
And, he moves his lips when he reads.
I have a female monkey; she does naughty things with her tail.
I named her T’Pol.
Man, you are so weird.
Insert comedy “Spank your monkey” joke here.
I have a monkey-cutting monkey! Seriously, this monkey knife fights, and slices up the other monkeys like a crainsaw on crack!
A duck walks into a 22nd century seedy space bar and asks the alien barkeep, “Hey, got any grapes?”
The bartender says, “No, of course we don’t have any grapes, this is a bar.”
A few minutes later, the duck walks in again and says, “Hey, got any grapes?”
The bartender a, little annoyed, says, “No, go out and read the sign, this is a bar, we serve alcohol, not grapes”
A while later, the duck walks in again and says again, “Hey, you got any grapes?”
The bartender, extremely angry now, says, “You stupid duck, we don’t have grapes, and if you come in and ask me that again I’ll slice you to death with my phaser cutting phaser!”
The duck comes in again a few hours later and asks, “You got any phaser cutting phasers?”
“:::sigh:::…Nope…”
“Good! Got any grapes?”
Humor…it is a difficult concept.
‘Beauty And The Beast’ Story Coming For Hoshi
How dare they call her “Beast”!!!
My goodness. Our stuff is so much better than this crap on the Official Site, fer hoshi’s sake!
:dubious:
They made me cry, the lame…the lame…
Oh, for want of a bard, to sooth thy laughing itch. Yon southern sun doesth set on thee, thy smile upon thy lips. Verily Verily we walk this road of sorrow, never to deviate to the path of joy, of rapture, of hope. Cursed on this very rock, forever doomed to live the life of melancholy whilst the very pleasure we seek slips from our grasp. A prayer to thou who find not what they seekth, what wonders shall await them in the netherworld? The destination must be worth the journey, for none have returned to settle here.
And the Hoshi said: Shiver my timbers!
No, no… Hoshi shivers our timbers, not the other way around.
I hope.
only 1210 posts to go before this becomes the longest Cafe thread EVAR!
um,…Panda?
Aes, go over to /. and geek for us.
it’s the only way.
The needs of the many (Me and Tars and T’Pol and Hoshi)
Outweigh the needs of the few (Dopers who don’t post in Trek threads)
Or the one (Aes)
i went to /.
they said ////./././/…//.//.///.//…//.//.//././././…/.///././././
And i was like //.//…/./…/./././/…/././…/./././/.///././././.
And then they went //…/./…/./…/./…/././././…/./…/…/./…/.
And i never spoke to them again!
Tars. I had no idea that you were a fan of Klingon opera, my green friend.
Getting back to a Trek related issue, I just found out that Enterprise’s timelsot has been moved for the upcoming season to 11:30pm to 12:30am on Sunday nights. So, uh, viva… you want to tape* the shows for me again this season?
*I haven’t forgotten I still owe you a tape, by the way… it’s just been a bit hard to send it with my not having money and all. I’ll send you a tape or two along with a small money order to make up for the delay. 
“But what about the torture?!” - Teenagers From Outer Space
Would be a drunken Crewman Daniels.
Where did you find the information about the time change?
I know a little bird who talks like that Tars. But his dialect is a little different.
I tried catching the episode tonight and when it didn’t come on, I used the Search function on my cable box, 'plant.