TNG Flash Game: http://www.rainbowanimations.com/animations/view.php?id=84
A letter to Home from the USS Enterprise NCC 1701
Dear Mom and dad,
Just sending a little note while off duty. They guys and I are playing Poker to pass time between duty cycles. They are a real bunch of swell eggs.
One of them, Ensign Rizzo, used to try to trick us into playing a game he called Fizbin. What a great guy. I’ll miss him. A couple of weeks ago he and four of the other guys had the blood sucked out of them by a cloud. Yes, you read that right a cloud sucked their blood out. You won’t believe the shit we have to go through out here.
I hope Mrs Matthews has gotten over the loss of her boy. No one expects a 7 foot android to push you off a precipice on a supposedly dead world. Give her a hug for me.
I can’t believe how Fucked up Space is! Last week we were turned into cubes… Fucking cubes! Can you believe that?!?! Worse that that….you know that girl I wrote to you about…. Yeoman Thompson, you know the one I said may be the one, she was crushed into powder! Can you believe it?
Then there was that poor rookie who was assigned before he could unpack. Next thing you know a giant glob of solid beefaroni melts him. Life here has become that weird and cheap!
The guys and I were reminiscing and showing off old scrapes and scars and phaser burns. It is a little one upmanship game we play especially with the rookies. A shame O’Herlihy didn’t pay much attention. A month ago he got the ultimate phaser burn when Giant sentient Lizards attacked one of our outposts. I’ll never understand why the Captain didn’t let those super aliens destroy he other ship. Go Figure.
Remember when I told you that I was ecstatic about my new assignment? Imagine the Enterprise under Captain Kirk it is supposed to be an honour. I have to tell you that after serving here that opinion has changed drastically. I am Really having doubts about our Captain. Sure he seems confident and can get us out of scrapes… but I’m losing buddies here fast and not in ways we were trained for.
First its letting a planet destroying probe come on board and slaughter a few of the boys next thing you know two of our guys are beamed into deep space when these brats went and confused our helmsman. Yep the Captain didn’t bother to check when he sent them out…personally. Fat Bastard!
The guys think the Captain doesn’t care for us and I believe it… he went to his next mission and left two of our guys on that planet we were orbiting. The ones he was going to replace. That chubby fat head didn’t even give them a second thought. No one on the bridge did. I mean If I wasn’t there myself I would never have believed it.
I mean most of us hope to go out fighting but when a guy with reflexes like Grant gets a primitive throwing star to the gut you know the universe is unfair. And if our own captain isn’t a danger to us we have to worry about other Big chair boys.
I’m not supposed top say anything but Galloway was killed by Captain Tracy! Yeah the guy who used to be a psychiatrist named Van Gelder. He changed his name became a captain and then killed his crew and Galloway. What the hell is going on with Starfleet these days?
Hell it seems like yesterday when A Commodore… A Fucking Commodore kicked the crap out of me when I tried to escort the lunatic to sick bay.
It must be shell shock but I actually fell for the old “coughing fit” gag.
I won’t lie to you mom I went to my quarters and cried like a baby for two hours. My nerves are shot. I asked the Doctor for something and all he can say is “Damn it I’m a doctor not a pharmacist!”
I’ll tell you every last one of us fears being called by the Bridge. Each time we go to a new planet there is one more empty cot and it is maddening! I’m at my wits end! I tell you I’m ready to mutiny.
Hopefully this next assignment will be safe we’re going to a paradise planet. Lt Mallaroy says this will be a breeze. He says the worst thing that could happen is he could stub his toe on a rock.
I’ll right back as soon as I can… Please contact your friend Commodore Mendez and see about that transfer he offered.
Love your Son Lt.Gabriel Kaplan
Dear Gabriel,
You always were a wuss. Cried like a baby. I’m ashamed to tell the guys at the pool hall.
And don’t write “fucking” in letters to your Mother.
Dad
Dr Mrs and Mrs Kaplan
It is with deep regret that I have to inform you of the loss of your son Gabe. He gave his life in the line of duty when a giant stone dragon Computer named Vall struck him with lightening on his last away Mission. I hope you find solace in the fact that The people of Gamma Trianguli VI no longer have to live in immortal blissful ignorance and can have sex, death and bad weather once again due to the efforts of your son.
Enclosed is a photo of your Son’s bravery .
Sincerely Captain James T. Kirk, USS Enterprise
Dear Gabby,
Listen to your Father. He spent a long time at the Mining Colony and knows all about those Star Fleet people.
Did you get the horseradish we sent you for Passover? Who knows what gets made in those machines. Remember, Rabbi Levy says that replicators aren’t Kosher!
Love,
Ma
This ep could’ve been so much better – I was glad to see an ep focusing on someone besides T’Pol and Trip - (even though I lust after him). Hoshi seemed to be sleepwalking through it – very little emotion given the circumstances. Remember the ep (first or second season) in which it seemed she was going to save the ship from aliens then it had that crappy ending where she was simply having some kind of transporter psychosis? – I enjoyed that one, it was suspensful, and I was rooting for her until that sucky ending. So I think she is capable of doing some decent acting. The interaction between her and the alien should’ve been ratcheted up – maybe even some initial emotional and physical attraction (given the alien could transorm himself into anything). Very disappointing.
Yes. I definitely think that there should have been some giving-in on Hoshi’s part. This way’s no fun.
Would she have stayed if he transformed himself into John Holm…
Bad Plant! Bad Plant!
I think she’s more of a Ron Jeremy type of girl.
- Tars Tarkas
I think she would have fallen for Jenna Jamison
- Cervaise
At least her acting was on par with a porn.
HOSHI: Oh… hi al eee an I’m sure hot in this big old castle. I …think… I… will… now… wander… around… the…gorunds… in… my…flimsy…sun…dress.
CRAB FACE: Hey there I think I love you
HOSHI: Oh… Go away… you … bad… crab man. (WAITS A SECOND AND THEN POUTS TO EMPHASISE HER DISPLEASURE)
Boom chicka chicka
Wah Wah chicka chicka
CLH: You wearing a space dress?
Ho: Yes, why?
CLH: 'Cause your ass is out of this world!
[Hoshi smiles and bends over, revealing her pantiless bum]
Ho: Oh! Here’s my Panda! I wondered where I’d left him…
[CLH tentacles start waving around in a meanacing yet overtly erotic way…]
Where is London_Calling?
[sup]Kirk, “Crewman, why are you bleaching your uniform?”[/sup]
So where do we think the arc is going to go?[ul][]The Spheres are creating the Anomalies. So what if their original job was to smooth out other Anomalies in the Expanse and they’ve just become misaligned?[]What if Archer blows-up/disables a Sphere (or two) and the shift in Anomalies blows up the Xindi homeworld? But that happens(ed) 400 years from now. But what if Future Guy’s interference puts humans into the Expanse sooner and causes the problem?[]What if the Xindi attack in 400 years because their planet is destroyed so Future Guy is trying to a) wipe the Xindi out sooner by sicing the humans on to them, or b) fix the problem before the Xindi get really pissed since some other Future Guy tipped them off and got them pissed.[]What if Archer helps put an end to the Spheres and so many races in the Expanse are grateful that they start to form some sort of United Federation of Planets?What if T’Pol gives the Xindi council neuro-pressure treatments and everybody starts to mellow out and get along?[/ul]
This thread has taken a disturbing turn!
anyway…
DING DONG!!
Cable Guy: Hi, my name is B’Lak, i’m here to fix the cable! I am an expert with putting things into things…
Hoshi: Oh, come in! Don’t mind my roommate, she’s just taking a shower
Crab Guy: Can i get some Panda over here?
Pizza Cogenitor: I’ve got a pizza for this place.
Hoshi: Oh, No, we have no way to pay…
Pizza Cogenitor: I’m sure you can think of something…
Plotwise, my theories:
The spheres are dead by the end of the season, and so will the expanses mysteriousness. It should also turn out only one Xindi homeworld will be destroyed by the humans, and that was so they would save the other Xindi from being wiped out. Future Guy is not responsible.
So are you saying Linda Park went to the William Shatner School of Acting, king?
Okay … Hoshi wears a T-shirt that says, “I came in space to be a cunning linguist and all I got was this lousy Crab.”
- Tars
CC’s plot point #2 has appeal. That way, they can set up a cliffhanger as Quantum and Co. try to find a way to stop the inadvertant destruction. Future Guy goes all Q on them and talks about non linear (B) thinking.
Turns out the spheres were set up by Pak Protectors, the same guys who took the human to Miramanee’s Planet and to whatever Tombstone World is in this season.
Future Guy is revealed to be Louis Wu.
Couldn’t hurt.
I thought Crab-Head looked creepier when he appeared human to Hoshi.
After 400 years this guy still acts like he never had a relationship? He never learned something from his former Companions (shades of TOS)? If he had put any thought into it he could have come up with a better seduction routine- HE KNOWS HER THOUGHTS, why could he not pick the things that would arouse her? If he could read food preferences why not sexual ones?
CH: “Here is your room.” waves her in
Hoshi: “wow. It’s just like my dream house.”
CH: “Go ahead and get comfortable. Later I shall read you some poetry that you inspired me to compose.”
Hoshi: “Poetry? I like poetry…”
And so on, with him pushing all the right buttons- he can read her responses, right- he could have taken his time and got what he wanted. Insted, he comes across like a love-sick teenager, with no clues but raging hormones. His impostor trick was so lame, couldn’t he tell that it would backfire on him? Clueless.
A rerun! AAARRRGGGHH! I guess they’re saving up for November sweeps.
Obviously 100 years alone turned this guy into a nutter. I can relate, when i lived alone for a few months i started sleeping in the bathtub, saving my earwax, taping the weather channel, and eating bandicoots.
But i’m much better now!!