Viva dressed me. It’s all her fault. The bustiere’s not so bad but this thong is killing me.
The dress uniforms were some floor lenght robe thing.
In the first season, there was a guy or guys in real skirts. I think it was supposed to be a yeoman’s uniform, or a slash fiction thingie. Ask Kn(*)ckers.
I always assumed it was an ill advised attempt at political correctness by having the men in skirts as well.
it was all put to a stop when Ensign Chuck “Gorilla legs” Wangowitz started tromping around in one of them skirts!
Aesiron: Perhaps the explanation about Yeopersons uniforms was to cover up the ill advised attempt.
Tars: My sister went out with that guy.
Holy shit! Carni’s my long lost brother!
Sis!
I’m so sorry I took a quarter from that guy to go away while you were sitting on the couch…should have held out for a dollar.
It’s okay, nobody really missed you. Mom liked me better, anyway. 
Don’t take that! Tell her she’s adopted!
Mom, you’re adopted! Ha!
(How was that, Tars?)
What do you do if your Captain has a tiny… um… Warp coil?
Good job, plant! four thumbs up!
Thanks, Tars. I feel a lot better.
After the guy gave me the quarter to leave, I hopped a freight to Washington state, where I’ve been living under the pseudonym Bill Gates ever since. Guess I should have sent some money home, but if Mom needed any, all she had to do was go stare at Kn(*)ckers and her hairy date on the couch.
Those men’s skirts in TNG were called “skants.” Aes bought one in red to match his cheeks (his face, I mean–when he blushes). 
He complains that the go-go boots are tearing out the hair on his legs, though.
I want my yeoMAN to bring me something to eat, pronto!
NCB: I’d tell the Captain with the teeny weeny warp coil to check out the latest spammail and get himself a shaft-enhancing cream ASAP.
It’s not the size of the warp coil, it’s how you breach the warp core that matters. Right?! RIGHT?!
I’m feeling drafty.
Somebody needs to scrub out those filthy, filthy plasma conduits. Find some crewmember who’s been naughty. That shouldn’t be too difficult!
I went to the pharmacist and asked if they had Viagra (not that horny ol’ me needs it, just a set up for this apochryphal anecdote)
The pharm guy said, “yes.”
I asked, “Can I get it over the counter?”
He answered, “Depends on how many you take.”
Ba-da boom!
There is no way I am bending over in this outfit while NoClueBoy’s on board. Nuh uh, no way, no how. Find someone else. Where’s Lieutenant CPlant?
You’re on early tonight.
And then NCB dropped his Viagra in the toilet and couldn’t get the lid down.
It’s amazing that the Boards are working for me right now; they usually freeze up and that’s why you don’t usually see me again till after 10pm Viva Ca Time.
Will have to get off sooner tonight so as not to tie up the phone (what a lame-oh excuse, and I’d rather stay here, but that’s that).
Got more Viagra tales?
hey, little boy… You got a real perdy mouth.
can you squeel like a pig?