Epic Jewish Craigslist Ad

[April_R]

Shalom! We are five handsome and two not so handsome single men. And, yes, we are Jewish. Bound by tradition and emboldened by wit, we are hosting an epic Shabbat dinner — a little challah, a little wine, and a lot of gefilte fish — in downtown Washington, DC on Friday, January 18, 2013. In a nod to our orgiastic traditions, we are inviting seven lucky ladies to feast with us. Echoing the State of Israel’s Declaration of Independence, we will consider you, “irrespective of religion or race,” as long as you “bring your own lactaid pills.”

To be considered, please submit a picture of yourself. We’d also like to hear more about you!

Please answer two of the following questions with another question: What’s your favorite Shabbos activity? Which biblical forefather do you admire most and why? What would you establish as the 11th Commandment? What’s your favorite episode of Seinfeld? Curb Your Enthusiasm? Which character from Girls speaks most to your personality? What is your favorite double mitzvah? Why would you answer a Craigslist ad about a Shabbat dinner?

You must also answer two of the following, not in question form. Where do you go to get your hair straightened? Are you a self-hating Jew? Have you read Portnoy’s Complaint? Explain why a two-state solution would or would not work? How do you feel about the Shoah? What is your favorite yiddish word and farvus? Zach Braff: Dreamy, or in your dreams? Do you appreciate hairy backs?

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, what year did you go on Birthright?

If you are one of the seven chosen people, you will receive additional information regarding the time and location. We look forward to reading your reply and gawking at your picture.

Epic Jewish Craigslist Ad

[QuickSilver]

They’ve got chutzpah.

[Agent_Foxtrot]

Just emailed this to my Jewish father. Mazel tov!

[TruCelt]

I’d likle to print that out and put it up at the local old folks home. Wouldn’t it be great if the respondents all had a granddaughter they wanted to introduce? LOL!

[tdn]

If I were a chick I’d totally go to that.

[psychobunny]

If I were 25 years younger I would totally go to that.

[PandaBear77]

If I were in DC I would totally go to that.

[Ethilrist]

“You must also answer two of the following, not in question form.”

Awesome.

[DocCathode]

As a Jew, I feel I should say something-
Ha!