Err...umm...controlling your reaction...down there (maybe TMI)

In My Humble Opinion
1

Hello again, :smiley:

I considered posting this next question as a continuation in my last thread so that all these sex related topics would stay in the same thread, but I figure more people will see it if I started a new one.

Before I go into the actual issue, I might as well get the backstory out of the way now. I have actually had a girlfriend (technically) before, and this is where the question stems from. My friend was dating a girl who lived in the next town over, and I tagged along with him to her house one night, even though it had been made clear to me the previous day that I was being set up with a friend of her’s. I didn’t object, because I was a stupid 17 year old, and I was getting desperate.

I met this girl (Nina) and she was really attractive and the four of us (me, her, my friend and his girlfriend) had a fun time just hanging out. We hung out the next two nights and I asked for Nina’s AIM name and she seemed to actually like me, and since she was pretty and I assumed I’d never have that kind of opportunity again, I asked her out. She said yes.

She had apparently had a few semi-serious boyfriends before me, dispite only being 15 (I didn’t find that out til later, I assumed she was only 1 year younger). So we “technically” dated for about 2 and a half months. My friend broke up with Nina’s friend so it became just Nina and I…and…I didn’t know what to do. I had just gotten my license and was sharing a car with my mom so I only had the opportunity to see her on Friday nights, and when we got together, all we did was makeout. I know, that doesn’t seem too bad, but in all seriousness, that was all there was to do. I had no idea how to communicate with her on a serious level. We also had nothing in common. I reached a point where I realized that I had no feelings for her, so I broke it off, thinking “why am I dating someone I can’t even see myself being friends with?”

But anyway, this leads us to my questions. Yes, kissing is the farthest I’ve ever gone with a girl, but everytime we did, I…got excited. :o SERIOUSLY excited. It was pretty easy to cover up because we always made out sitting down, but I assumed that my utter lack of experience and desire to GAIN some is what triggered such serious feelings down below just from kissing. But it’s really something that I would like to be able to get under control. I’d feel pretty embarrassed leaning in to kiss a date goodnight if I ended up jabbing her unintentionally. :o :frowning:

Any tips?

2

Masturbate before your date. Seriously. That should solve your problem. If not, you could try masturbating during the date. May not go over too well with the girl friend though…

3

Why not just be honest? “Sorry about that… but I guess now you know I really find you attractive.”

It’s a natural physiological reaction, not a debilitating disease. Roll with it; maybe she’ll be flattered.

4

Soapy! It’s you again. :eek:

You’re normal. I wouldn’t even worry about it. When I was your age and I was making out with a guy, I guess I’d be surprised if it wasn’t there, like that.

How come you don’t ask this in Foo Free? :smiley:

5

That’s actually quite flattering. Don’t worry about it.

6

Don’t worry about sporting the wood, its natural, and most girls would be flatered by this. Just don’t try to make it blatantly obvious because that might be a little creepy. (I’m assuming here; not a girl myself.)

7

OH yeah, forgot to add: Do not ever under any circumstance try to supress your wood. Or the Society of Men will come and revolk your man card privilages.

Seriously, I did this once and lost my right to stand up and pee at the same time for a whole year. Boy I sure learned MY lesson…

Real hardasses the Society of Men are… :smiley:

8

I’m 42 and still get an erection from making out - maybe not from a good night kiss, but maybe, depending on the intensity. I wouldn’t worry about it.

9

Dude, if you aren’t getting wood, you’re not doing it right! :smiley:

10

I remember this happening to a guy in college when I was sitting on his lap; we were moving from “just really good friends” towards something more. I noticed, and it was obvious to him that I had to have noticed, and he blushed and apologized. I blushed a little too but said there wasn’t a need to apologize. I think that night we had our first kiss, IIRC, and definitely crossed the “friend” boundary into boyfriend/girlfriend.

We’re married now. Trust me, this “problem” doesn’t go away. This isn’t really a bad thing either. :smiley:

Speaking as a female, I know that I didn’t freak out or anything when it happened, and it was flattering. I’d think that most women would only have a problem with a guy getting an erection from being close to them if they didn’t know him that well and probably didn’t care to - like dancing with some strange guy at a club and he starts grinding his hips into you, stuff like that. If you’re obviously “going out” or at least becoming close emotionally, most women would probably consider it natural. And heck, if the guy wasn’t at least showing some kind of a reaction after a decent makeout session, I’d be worried or even insulted.

rjung’s response is perfect, IMO.

11

Your too young to be worried about having “real” feelings in order to maintain a relationship. Try getting more time with her and then you might have a chance of knowing one another better. Sex is healthy… sex is good. Only making out is good too… but only when your a teenager… so having an erection is VERY normal.

Use a condom if you go beyond making out. At your age your just playing at being adults… experiment… have fun… have respect and don’t worry to much.

12

Umm…I’m 19 now, so I broke up with this girl over 2 years ago. And I completely disagree with your first sentence.

13

Sorry I thought you were still 16-17 :slight_smile:

Still “Real Feelings” sometimes come with some time… though meeting someone once a week doesn’t help much I agree.

I remember what I read sometime ago. Westerners have sex because they love each other… Polynesians love each other because they have sex. So don’t try to fit yourself in romantic notions ALWAYS. People sometime just need someone to cuddle with…

14

Well, heck, the girls you’re kissing are having reactions in the corresponding parts, too, especially if you’re doing more than just kissing. Another vote for “don’t suppress or worry, it’s all good and normal.”

15

Yep, you’re supposed to have a boner when you’re making out. If not then, when? If not there, where? If not you, who?

I’ll stop.

16

You may want to do a little pre-HDMOS positioning. Make sure the ol’ fella heads down your pant leg and not toward your waistband. You don’t want to be uncomfortable. (HDMOS-- Heavy Duty Make Out Session) But don’t sweat it, sportin’ wood is perfectly natural. Unless of course, it’s crushing the furniture in your dorm room. :stuck_out_tongue:
Wooohoooo Soapy chartered up. Good on ya!

17

An erection is never a problem (disclaimers about pets, children, corpses, etc., apply). Expecting me to do someting about it right that very second whether I feel so inclined or not, that’s a problem.

Making out is by its very nature erotic, and it’s pretty much standard for people of both sexes to get turned on when making out. For teenage guys, it’s pretty much a legal requirement. Near as I can tell, if a 17 yo guy doesn’t get a hard-on while making out with a pretty girl, they revoke his testicles for 90 days. The second offense, you lose 'em for six months. I think there may be a “three strikes” rule, but I was afraid to ask.

Your inexperience has nothing to do with the situation. Kissing (make-out type kissing, anyway) is even more intimate than having sex. You’re seeing someone close-up, feeling them, smelling them, tasting them, hearing them, all at the same time, and that’s arousing to most people. After nine years, it still turns me on. Hell, touching this one spot on the back of my neck still reduces me to a pile of quivering jelly. For that matter, sometimes just watching him work on something or play with the critters is enough to do it for me. Experience has nothing whatsoever to do with whether or not something turns you on.

As for accidentally (or not so accidentally, in some cases) bumping up against an erection, that’s not a problem at all. It’s always good to know someone finds you attractive, and knowing someone is turned on by you is often a turn-on in itself. Yeah, it can be a little awkward, but awkward isn’t necessarily bad. In fact, awkward can be very endearing. Trust me, saying “Sorry 'bout that, it’s just that you’re really hot,” is never going to make a woman angry. Provided you’re not going with the whole “you turned me on, so now you owe me an orgasm” thing, it’s quite simply not a problem at all.

18

This probably isn’t a serious issue, unless you’re, shall we say, razor-sharp. In which case you have a whole bunch of more important problems to worry about, such as learning to masturbate with a shark-handling glove.

And for the record, I’ve been married to my wife for going on six years, and I can’t help chubbing up when we kiss like that. So don’t sweat it.

19

I would be flattered. Just as long as you don’t start rubbing “yourself” against her in an inappropriate manner for the situation you are in I think you’ll be fine.

20

Another vote for - it doesn’t really matter. Like others have said, it’s flattering!