Yah, I’m hip to the ruse. Esprix is really just stalling for time while he hides away in his top secret scorpion-infested lair, where he works on assembling Atomic Insults[sup]TM[/sup], Plutoniom-Powered Put-downs[sup]TM[/sup], and Wicked Felching References.[sup]TM[/sup] 
Cry havoc, and let slip the fury of Esprix!
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Esprix *
**
Strap-on cowboy boots?
Gee, you gay guys have all the neat stuff 
(Yes, I saw there were others posting. Sorry if it seems I skipped over that part, hoping Ezprix had an answer for me.
Since he doesn’t, I’m going to state my best guess and let this thread ramble on without me.)
My best guess: Your posts in general at the board always seem to be full of insults and hate and paranoia and a desire not to get to the point without first a bunch of endless argument. And I don’t recall you convincing anyone of anything.
I pretty much just post a few things on whatever the topic is and don’t get drawn into arguments. Just state my piece, which is usually a light opinion or anecdote on a light thread. And so I don’t feel the need to convince anybody of anything.
AM/PMS or whatever attacked me in this thread http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=87576, basically, called me an idiot(in atmb, no less), because I said that banned posters didnt contiune to post for long.
When called on this, he came up with this brilliant conspiracy theory:
Mind you, my entire post was
clearly this was some secret code for “you are about to be banned and I cordially invite everyone to compare AM/PMS to Bin Whatsit”
Before I could respond, the thread was wisely closed by the Lovley and Talanted TubaDiva.
Look, dipshit, even if I was saying you should be banned(which would make no sense), that still would not give you cause to call me an idiot in ATMB.
If, in your somewhat delirous syphilis ravaged brain you thought I ment you should be banneed, once I pointed out
you should have gotten a clue what I ment, and that you had jumped to the wrong conclusion. How in any way you infered that anything about Bin Whatsit is totally beyond me.
You a whinney little jerk who for some reason is obsessed on banned posters posting again.
in that thread you said this
But here in this thread
You lying little piece of fecal matter. In one post, you act like you and Esprix are kindred spirt, then you say you never heard of him. Piss off.
Congratulations – you’ve already succeded.
Yeah, and if anyone knew a one-tick pony it would be you, right Mike, er, John?
Why on earth would anyone deliberately keep drinking at a bar where most people don’t know who he is (or care) and the ones who do dislike him?
To get drunk?
[sub]don’t mind me … I’m drinking[/sub]
Did you actually write this with a straight face?
Damn, we need a smiley that shows someone lying on the floor laughing so hard their stomach hurts.
None of the other bars will let him in?
oh, cmon esprix, kick off your boots and take off your rings!! i cant hardly wait!!
i dont drink no more so this is as fun as it gets for me on satiddy nite…
I don’t know why you keep referring to yourself in the second person like that…
I’m going to demonstrate the power of a single word…
Cite?
(For those whose mental facilities are on par with Ampim’s, that was the single word)
Do you realize what you’ve done here? Lemmie illustrate with a story.
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Jack. Jack wound up selling a cow for a handful of beans. When his mom threw these beans out the window, a giant beanstalk grew into the clouds. Jack, being an inquisitive little boy, went out and climbed it to the top. There he found a castle full of riches and a sleeping giant. He had 2 choices:
#1 He could sneek the gold out without the giant knowing and live happily ever after.
#2 He could kick the giant in the balls.
Most inteligent posters will realize that #1 is the way to go. You, sir, have chosen #2.
Lemmie tell you a bit about chosing #2. You should only chose #2 if you are sure you can stand the heat and hold your own. I could. Scylla could. So could Fenris, SPOOFE, Coldfire and a host of others. Neuro Trash Grrrl could do it with one brain tied behind her back. You ain’t even close to being in that class, kid. My advice to you is to gracefully disengage yourself from this thread, and then RUN, as fast as you can, back to the Martha Stewart message boards. Don’t fuck with giants if you want to see another day.
Oh, goodie!
Storytime with uncle Dave!
… and just leave me out of this. I don’t even like beans.
[Daffy Duck]Odds my bodkins! A beanstalk! And all the way up to the sky, too![/Daffy Duck]
: picks spot reasonably near Atreyu so as to hear O Brother Where Art Thou but not be deafened by it, spreads blanket out on grass, plonks esky and bag next to blanket and settles in for a while :
Anyone want a beer? I’ve got VB and Crown Lagers in that esky there, and there are some peanuts and salt’n’vinegar chips in that bag, help yourself.
: cracks a VB :
So, have I missed anything?
sits down on a comfy bit of grass
M&M’s, anyone? I brought the family size bag.
I hope Esprix gets back soon, otherwise there won’t be enough of AM/PM left to bother with.
opens a diet soda and sits back to enjoy the show
Hey, who’s that guy in the back with the John 3:16 sign? Man, they let anyone in here don’t they!
Mmmmkay, just let me get my grill set up over here and we’ll be all set.