Esteem issues, what to do?

In My Humble Opinion
21

I was giving advice for physiological depression, which seems to be ArrMatety!'s problem.

Odd-socks: we depressives are so gentle with one another, aren’t we?
I will say that if ‘get off your arse’ advice ever worked with us, I would use it with ’ … and just go for a walk.’ It works. (Walking, not GOYA)

I really do sleep in sweats during the bad times to make it easier to get out; I know I’m on the up swing when I can manage to brush my teeth before I leave the house.

22

I preach escapism. I read a book, play a video game or watch a movie. Anything to get my mind of my mind. Get plenty of light. You may not have Seasonal Affective Disorder, but it won’t hurt. Sometimes just a change of venue will help your mind escape itself.

 I sometime buy something.  A present for myself.  It sounds like a very female response I know, but it always seems to help.
23

Now I am depressed because my typing is so horrible this evening.

24

I have clinical depression which responds well to medication. But I still get the blues from time to time too.

I too am a goal setter. That is how I have dealt with those big “round” birthdays. With 60 breathing down my throat last summer, I decided to damned well go to Paris. Considering that I am a little agoraphobic and haven’t flown in 31 years because of a panic attack the last time, that is a pretty big goal. I decided last April that I would go in April of 2004.

Since then, whenever I have felt down, I’ve worked on the trip. Reading, planning, shopping, dreaming, listening to Edith Piaf. I leave with 16 year old granddaughter in tow in six weeks. Yes, I am a little afraid. But doing something we are afraid of is good for us.

Anyway, I haven’t had the blues in a while.

Reading the book Revolution from Within and returning to it when needed helped me with self-esteem issues. Who would have thought that Gloria Steinem ever had esteem issues. I think it was after reading that book that I declared a truce with myself.

I used to carry a list of things that I liked about myself. That helped. I don’t even need that anymore.

One sentence stood out for me in your post:

It will never be up to their standards inside your head at least. May I suggest a great substitution? Decide what your standards are. Live up to them most of the time. Face the very real possibility that you may never have your parents’ approval.

I am projecting like crazy, but problems in continuing to desire parental approval were my biggest stumbling block to developing self-esteem.

25

well, to be fair we don’t know what sort of depression ArrMatey has; there are different types? For exmaple, someone suffering from S.A.D, or perhaps chemical inbalance may benefit from a specific course of treatment: someone who has reactive depression may need something else. I have reactive depression (ahh, these labels! heh) and do not take drugs for it, but that’s my choice.

I guess it’s like fingerprints? We all have a set, but they are each uniquely different.

heh.

Steel hand in a velvet glove :wink: just kiddin’… online communication can be hard and people get offended, upset, irate over nothing at all, so best to clarify I think?

This is a good resource for anyone who might need it:

http://open-mind.org/SP/Articles/8c2.htm

Zoe’s idea of a trip sounds like a fine plan. You’ll have to send us a virtual postcard :smiley: