Oddly, I feel neither obliged nor do I feel that it is required to buy a gift. If I can afford something, I’m happy to buy for the couple. If not, I don’t. If my friends want to feel slighted, they can. They know I have a crappy job and are happy to see me there.
When we get married next year, there isn’t going to be anyone that isn’t immediate family invited to the ceremony, so we skip that hurdle completely.
Remember, Edward the Head, no matter what you choose, someone will say that it’s wrong. Congrats and have fun.
You’ve just given me a great idea! We can come out all dressed nice, and then strip! Now that would be a great way to scare just about anyone off! Oh, and jammers are just as tight as speedos, they just come down to just above the knees.
I lean on the “invite them to the reception” side of things, but here’s an alternate idea, assuming the bride and groom are willing to see each other prior to the ceremony. If you want unconventional, have two events, one BEFORE the wedding and the other after it.
Have a lunch thing, cake and whatnot with the swim team, have them accompany you to the pool and watch the ceremony. This would be a good time to get pictures in, too, if you want to get all dressed up and such. If you’re willing to get married in a swimming pool, then people won’t find it that much weirder that you’re having a reception prior to the wedding.
I assume the ceremony will be followed by down time (an hour or two) before people meet up at your reception location anyways, right? To give you time to get dressed into something more reasonable, do hair, makeup, whatever? So in a way, everyone leaves, and the select few that you want the sit down dinner with meet you at the reception location.
Fewer hard feelings, you get 2 meals in that day (people tend to forget food on their wedding day!) and you maintain the weird and wacky theme
You might want to look into the cost of this, though. If it comes out to about the same per person, you might as well invite everyone to the costume reception anyways, even if you don’t really know them. Heck, our own wedding, October 8th, will have 10-12 “and guests” that we’ve never met, but are accompanying people we love and care about. It’s a good time to get to know more people!
