Is this bad form, specifically in an office setting? For example, a co-worker you sit by, not really a friend, maybe a"friend you never see or talk to outside work" knows you like brand X soda and for some reason buys you a twelve pack. It’s sitting on your desk, and an actual real world friend and co-worker comes by and asks for one- is it bad form to share? I say no, it isn’t, but in the above situation the soda purchaser seemed hurt, telling me “I bought those for you, if I’d wanted him to have one I would have bought him one”. I find this to be kind of controlling, kind of creepy, but If I am wrong, I would like to apologize. I mean I can see not giving away a car someone gave you but a soda?
The only reason I can think of as to why that person would be hurt is if they hated the person you gave it to. Because then it’s like they bought their enemy a pop. Even in that case it’s still a little weird. How did they find out–did the give-ee tell them about it? Or did they come by and count the number of pop cans on the desk and compare it with the number in your trash can? I’d maybe not accept such gifts from them in the future.
It is your gift so do with it as you chose. I have always assumed any gift of food items were meant to be shared anyway.
You did nothing wrong.
It sounds creepy and controlling to me. Co-worker #1 gave you a 12-pack of soda and got upset that you shared one of them with co-worker #2?
I think I’d keep #1 at a distance.
I see nothing wrong with it. If someone were to give me a box of chocolates, or mixed nuts or something, especially in a work setting, I would consider it impolite to not offer it to my co-workers. A twelve-pack of pop isn’t typical gift material, but that shouldn’t matter. It would be rude to pour it down the sink in front of the giver, but sharing is fine.
Creepy to expect you not to share. “I bought that for you” ::shudder
Ditto. Share the wealth is the norm, gifter is out of line. Be suspicious of gifter’s motives.
I think the problem here is in the timing. How long had the gift sat on your desk, with you not partaking of one yourself? Did you give the coworker the first can, before you’d even had one? Then I would consider that rude, especially if you drink pop everyday but had just been avoiding drinking the gift pop. That’s like telling the giver that you are not willing to drink the gift yourself, but will give it away gladly. I’d be hurt, too.
<NITPICK>
“Pop” is what the weasel does. They’re called “sodas”.
Just like a “sucker” is what’s born every minute, while a “lollipop” is the candy-on-the-stick thing.
</END NITPICK>
I might be jumping the gun, but is this a present from a male colleague to a female. It’s just possible that the gift has a significance in the eye of the provider that the recipient has not fully recognised…?
Them’s fighting words!
Those are some very cheap and oversized rings, but on the plus side, there are twelve of them.
If you’re going to nitpick dialectical differences then I’ll match with:
“Soda” is a salt that’s used to make soap.
A soft drink is a “soda pop.”
yes, there is the possibility the lady who bought them for me “likes” me, she is definitely looking for a man- I think any man would do, not me specifically.
Which makes her reaction even scarier. Sort of in the stalker area.
Yeah, that’s never a good idea in the workplace unless you’re sure it’s mutual. If it really escalates (not to be paranoid) keep a record because you shouldn’t have to deal with someone making you uncomfortable like that at work.
I agree with the whole “creepy” vibe.
You haven’t screwed this girl over in any way, have you? Just making sure she’s not upset that someone else almost got the can containing the cyanide.
Very creepy. My reply to, “I bought those for YOU” would be, “Yes, and since you bought them for ME, they are now mine to do with what I please.”
Check to make sure the remaining cans dont show signs of being tampered with. She might have put poison/aphrodisiacs into some of them.
Yep, I’ll add my vote to “inappropriate and bordering on creepy”. Her that is, not you. I also share food gifts with the office. I guess it’s a leftover from school and the “did you bring enough to share with the class?” question.
Plus, it was only *one can of a 12 pack. It’s not like she gave to a vase or something and you re-gifted it in front of her. You still have 11/12 of the gift.
*I do quite a bit of regifting, but I try very hard not to give the gift to someone who knows the original giver well, so the original giver doesn’t get hurt by it. I wouldn’t regift an office gift within the same office, but a can of pop doesn’t quite fall into that category, somehow. You weren’t re-gifting so much as sharing.
I’m throwing my vote in on the slightly creepy side. As a couple of others have mentioned, food items in bulk (for purposes of this conversation, I’m considering a 12-pack bulk, though I know that it’s technically not) that are sitting in plain view are often shared in an office environment. Also, it’s not for the giver to tell the givee what to do with the gift. IMHO, if there are strings attached to the gift, it’s not much of a gift. So, no, I don’t think what you did was inappropriate at all.
Also, I’m not sure I’d really consider a pack of soda a gift. I guess it technically is, at least in this situation, but I normally think of gifts as something given with a little more ceremony or formality. In other words, you know for sure that someone’s giving you a gift, not just making a nice gesture. For example, I often give the woman who sits in the cube next to me packs of gum because we both like the same kind but can’t find it in many stores. If I see it, I always buy extra so I can give her some and she does the same. I don’t consider it a gift at all, and I don’t care what she does with it.